Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Sunday, April 28, 2013

I Don't Want To Die Under BN Rule Too

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This is copy & paste article.

This article appeared at The People's Parliament and it's written by one Gunslinger. And I believe it merits a place in this blog.

But, bear with me, it is one lengthy hell of an article.

The Men Who Made Me
by Gunslinger

My first exposure to politics was when , as a little girl of 5 or 6 in Ipoh, I ran out of my house to wave at the charismatic Mr.Patto of DAP, campaigning through loudspeakers on his moving open-truck. He was fiery and I thought he was so brave and clever, standing up there and speaking without any fear. My father told me that Mr. Patto urged Malaysians not to fear change, and said that every citizen should call himself a Malaysian first and foremost, and not a Malay, Chinese or Indian. I never forgot that. Ever.

I remember thinking back then that even if I had even a quarter of his courage, I would be a lucky girl indeed. Years later, as a young adult, when I read that he had passed away, I was very saddened. Not because he had died, because I knew he must have lived a full, exciting life – lived more than most would have done in their lifetimes of subservient kneeling to whomever could throw them a few scraps. I was sad because he never got a chance to make a difference to more Malaysians by being a part of the ruling party. I felt his tough resilience, his strong character and his courage of convictions would define character for a lot of young Malaysians.

My father encouraged me to read the newspapers, which I found extremely boring. For even then I thought the reporting was pretty lop-sided, with mud-slinging and name calling by BN politicians to opposition party members, reported in what I felt was salacious glee. I eventually started following the adventures of one very inspiring man who stood out again and again as a lion of courage and strength amongst most other men – Mr. Karpal Singh. He took no nonsense from silly politicians, he fought with courage against corruption, he admonished newspapermen who got their facts wrong, hell, he even took on the King. Man, did he rock my world!

I was shocked when he was sent to prison for merely voicing his opinions, under the ISA, which was meant for communists. Opposition seemed a bad word back then, but I never got it. Why was being in the Opposition negative? Even as a child of eight, I could see the logic and absolute necessity of a strong opposition, which unfortunately most adults could not and would not see. I guess the lull of complacency, of the ‘let’s not rock the boat, we are fine now, what’ was at its greatest heights then. But I was not convinced.

So, in a dark lost world, Mr.Karpal Singh became my knight in shining armour. A man who would fight for what’s right. There were so few like him. Most men in positions of authority just sold out to the highest bidder like cheap prostitutes – for titles, for positions, for contracts, for seats. And with such intelligence, charisma, calibre and capability Mr. Karpal Singh could have been at the top of the stakes. But he never even considered cashing in his chips, because he had that rarest of commodities most men and women don’t have. Commodities that makes one stand out like a beacon in a sea of insipid folks – self-pride, honour, integrity. That is what makes a man, a real man.

And the people in the Opposition had it. Mr.Lim Kit Siang had it. I have watched his hair grow from black to white , but that pursed up lips of stubborn resilience, that fierce determination in his eyes has never diminished. That fearless questioning that went on, while backbenchers from BN shouted like monkeys on heat to drown his voice. He never gave up. And sometimes, I wondered why men like Karpal and Kit Siang went on, when they were locked up, reviled, slandered against…it would have been all too easy to just let it go and walk away. But they did it out of duty, to a country they loved. Now , that is what I call patriotism. Not shouting slogans, waving flags. Patriotism is making wrongs right for your country – without fear or favour.

These are men of courage, wisdom and integrity who should be ruling Malaysia, but they were never given a chance. If they had been, we would have seen a different Malaysia today. A Malaysia with backbone.

I must have been 9 or 10 when I followed my first election result tally with my father until the wee hours of the morning. I was the youngest in the family, and probably the most passionate, thereby I naturally became Daddy’s helper. I was helping him count and we took turns adding up results – it was a landslide victory – again – for Barisan Nasional. Ho hum. As usual. Then Mahathir came on screen. And he was gloating, with such a disgusting smirk on his face, that I wished I could lean into the tv and slap him.

I never liked him. Call it a child’s instinct, call it a child’s innocence or conversely, maturity beyond my age, I saw evil in him. I did not like his constant smirk, I did not like his shifty eyes, I did not like his disparaging words against the opposition who had lost. He was never a gentleman. The dislike for him has only intensified over the years, as I see now how he is also the ultimate racist who has divided and segregated the country, stolen our souls and spirit and has made a fortune for himself, using the Malay and bumiputra agenda to manipulate simple-minded Malays, while being a full Indian himself.

My father was an avid reader, and he read everything from politics to economics to romance (yes, when he could not get his hands on anything else). He was merely a clerk in Telecoms, but in another life, in a parallel universe with more opportunities his way,he might have been more, much more.

My most vivid memory of my dad is of him sitting on his favourite worn out chair, with one leg crossed under him and the other swinging in tandem to the mood of the moment, reading with his black horn-rimmed glasses, in his white singlet and blue striped shorts. We were poor, but hell, we had our books. There was this one book that he kept next to him and read and re-read more often than the others. It was Tan Sri Tan Chee Koon’s “Without Fear or Favour’. He was in awe of Tan Chee Koon, said there were few men like him. And he used to tell me this story – “This man beat the odds, girl. Born of immigrant parents, he rose at 5.30am every morning to feed livestock, cycled 5 miles to tap rubber, and when he came back at 4pm, he would tend to the vegetables and fruit trees and sometime between all that , found time to become a doctor and lead the opposition and write some of the most brilliant books that speak of a nation – without fear or favour. See, you don’t have to always remain poor if you work hard.”

My father kept telling me to read Tan Chee Koon’s book, I must have been 13 or 14 then. The teenager in me, though, was more interested in the racy, tittillating Sidney Sheldons and Joan Collins then, and I never did read that book. And when my father died, and my mother and I had to leave our home for good, I lost a lot. My home, my security, my sense of belonging, those books, but most of all , my father who made me cherish what was real and good in this world. I forgot that book, and my promise to my dad to read it. But I remember it now, as the mother-of-all-elections come close, and I managed to look it up in the internet, and realise that it is a book before its time. A book that asks questions that have been stifled for too long. A book just like its name. I promise I will read it, dad, and I am doing more than that – I am spreading the word of your favourite book to many, many more.

The nightmare of BN continued.

Tun Salleh Abbas, the Lord President was removed from the judiciary along with 5 other prominent , respected and most importantly, honest, judges by Mahathir. The independance of the judiciary was killed in one stroke. I was horrified. But people still voted BN in. It was the worst decision the country made, because Malaysia sunk into a state of lawlessness after that. And with that one by one, the many institutions that keep a country grounded through check and balance, and accountability fell like a stack of dominoes.

I must have been in the university when I read that Lim Guan Eng, then a young passionate DAP member, was thrown into jail for championing the cause of a young Malay girl who was raped by a prominent BN politician. It defied logic, and it strengthened my hatred for Barisan Nasional and for stupid people who kept voting Barisan Nasional in every election like goats to the slaughter. It was a stupidity and selfishness that has come back to haunt them over and over again.

Growing up, I stood on the shoulders of giants like Patto, Karpal, Kit Siang and I saw beyond the veil of deceit, stupidity and arrogance the ruling party had kept us under. I saw my nemesis – his name was Mahathir, and I learnt what real evil was, and how evil can manipulate everything to get its own ways. For even the Devil can quote the Scripture for his own benefit, the Bible tells us. Yes, Mahathir made me too – he made me aware of how conmen work, and opened my eyes to deceipt, racism, hatred, manipulation and how absolute power corrupts absolutely.

The insidious evil of Mahathir and his legacy of slimy politics and mega cronyism changed a landscape. The master manipulator had everyone singing his praises, except me. And then the tide turned – Anwar happened. I was there on the 20th of Sept 1998 – shouting REFORMASI with my fellow countrymen. Oh, for a glimpse of hope, for change, for a better Malaysia. I never felt more Malaysian that day, when finally I met people who threw of the shackles of race and religion and sang a song of freedom, as one people, one nation. United by Anwar. It must have been Mahathir’s nightmare. We followed Anwar Ibrahim. We saw a leader. It did not matter if he was gay or straight, Malay or Iban, Muslim or Bahai – he was hope. And that little sliver of hope kept a torn nation together, in fevered anticipation. We dared to hope, we dared to dream once again. And the dream was so beautiful.

The dream was intermittently shattered by brutality and force of the oppressors – I saw frail Tian Chua beaten up, abused and manhandled. But that frail man was only frail in body , but an unstoppable juggernaut in heart and spirit.They beat him, he got up. And he got up more times than they could push him down. Where Karpal, Kit Siang , Patto had gone to jail and given up many privileges to remain steadfast in their beliefs, Tian Chua gave his body, took the beatings and soldiered on. They taught me the real meaning of sacrifice – to not just talk the talk , but to walk the walk.

Anwar Ibrahim, was just like those men I mentioned above – just that he started on the other side of the fence, and had it easier than Patto, Karpal or Kit Siang. But everyone deserves a second chance and Anwar Ibrahim has proven to me, by the sheer volume of torture, slander and injustice meted out by BN and still not buckling to their pressure – that he has my vote to be the change I have been wanting for as long as I can remember.

My father, Patto, Kit Siang, Karpal, Tan Chee Koon, Guan Eng, Tian Chua, Anwar and many others who speak without fear or favour – they have shaped my character. My fighting spirit. The pride I feel in myself for never needing to grovel for handouts, for always standing on my own two feet. The way I hold myself up high, look people in the eye and DEMAND my rights in this country I call home, not shyly whisper for it. I am no more a child, I am not afraid of bullies anymore. I am the new generation, a generation that is part of a global village, who is conditioned not merely by the environment and politics of this country but by that of a global community. You can’t fool us with lies. That time is long gone. But you will watch us roar. And march forward to stake our claim in a country we call home. We know no other home but this home, and we will fight to make it ours, the way we want it. We will speak, and not forever hold our breath. And we will NOT go gently into the night, but rage, rage against the dying light….

I see millions of Malaysians in youtube videos, who must feel like me, waving flags with fire in their eyes, passion in their souls, hoping for a change.

I am 44 years old. I was born into BN rule.

And I don’t want to die under BN rule.

My country, my people and I deserve more than this. And I hope to see the men who made me, and men and women like them, be given the chance to bring back pride, soul, spirit and hope to the disenfranchised youth. To create more young men and women like me to go on and carry the torch for a future we can proudly leave behind for our children.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Anak Menteri Cap Ayam Punya Penangan

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Sumber: Facebook Dato' Ramesh Rajaratnam

Klik untuk besarkan gambar

Farhana Nong Chik telah dianugerahkan kontrek bernilai RM30,800,000-00 oleh Kementerian Belia dan Sukan.

Tiga puloh juta ringgit.

Kontrek ini diberi secara rundingan terus. Maknanya, "tak ada apa2 ke untuk aku?" Kah kah kah!!!

Sebenarnya ada beribu-ribu Farhana di M'sia ini. Kerja mereka ini makan tidur, makan tidur, sesekali bapak mereka orang kuat UMNO akan kejutkan mereka dari tidur dan bagi kontrek juta-juta.

Ini belum lagi bapaknya menteri 'sah', bapaknya cuma menteri cap ayam, yakni menteri tak ada kerusi sendiri.

Kalau pemgundi Lembah Pantai boleh kasi menteri cap ayam ini menang berlawan dgn Nurul Izzah, tak tau la.

Dah kena taik ayam candu ke? kah kah kah

Tuan Presiden Kurang Sihatkah?

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Tempoh berkempen untuk PRU13 ini tinggal berbaki kurang dari 10 hari.

Semua orang sibuk. Dari sebesar-besar pangkat hingga ke tukang pacak bendera, semua bertugas.

Yang poyo-poyo buat sibuk pun lagi ramai.

Semalam, hari Jumaat Nik Aziz turun ke Masjid Besi, Putrajaya membawa sokongan kepada Husam. Kesian Tok Guru, datang dari jauh Kota Bharu. Badan bukan kuat macam dulu lagi. Sering jatuh sakit.

Kit Siang dah berkampung di Gelang Patah.

Mahafiraun ke hulu ke hilir menjaja nama anak, nak dibuat MB.

Najib ke utara, Muhyidin ke selatan. Masing-masing baru sedar bulu lain kaler.

Mat Nuar jgn cerita. Kalau binatang di zoo itu boleh faham Bahasa Melayu dan layak mengundi, nescaya lama Mat Nuar berada di Ulu Klang.

Cuma, kita tertanya-tanya, mana Tuan Presiden kita? Tolonglah bakar semangat anak buah.

Ini bukan masanya pergi menangkap ikang.

Sekiranya Tuan Presiden kurang sihat, cari-carilah pil.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Pemuda Melayu Terkaya di Perak

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Artikel ini aku cedok orang punya. Sumber: saveumnoperak

Ini dia pemuda Melayu terkaya di Perak.

Manusia ini muncul di bawah kepimpinan Sohibuss Samahah al Haj al Rrendek Nalerekek Zambry Kadeer.

Sejuuuuk perut bini mengandung. Kah kah kah!!!

Semua main ratus ribu. Berjuta harta benda.

Tapi boleh gerenti segala benda-benda doniawi ini semua hutang. Puak ni bukan reti bayar tunai. Kalau dapat free lagi bagus.

Tak tahu ke bahananya kalau Perak jatuh ketangan PR sekali lagi?

Nak bayar dgn hape benda ini semua?

Biar dia terkincit kuning cair dalam seluar, baru ada akai. Kah kah kah!!!

PACA Benteng Terakhir PR

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Sejak merdeka sehinggalah sekarang, Tanah Melayu masih lagi menggunakan istilah Bahasa Inggeris, Polling Agent Counting Agent. PACA.

Polling Agent akan berada di pusat pengundian manakala Counting Agent berada di tempat mengira undi.

Aku pernah menjadi sukarelawan PACA mewakili PAS pada PRU 12. Sijil perakuan dari PAS itu masih aku simpan sampai sekarang. 

Beberapa hari sebelum bertugas, kami para sukarelawan diberi taklimat benda apa itu PACA dan bagaimana PACA berfungsi oleh otai-otai PACA terdahulu. 

Di sinilah baru aku tau betapa haramjadahnya UMNO. Penipu pengelat numero uno. Bacul. Penakut.

Tambahan pula sekarang ini mereka tengah nyawa-nyawa ikan. Akan sehabis ikhtiar dan daya mengelat/menipu untuk menang.

Sia-sia saja kita tengah malam main embun jantan memacak bendera. Sia-sia kita berdiri di lampu isyarat mengedarkan risalah. 

Namun semasa bertugas ketika itu, kami tidak pulak bertemu kes-kes menipu. Tapi, mana tau, mungkin satu kes telah lolos? UMNO ini terer menipu ya tuan-tuan...

Aku masih ingat bagaimana kawan aku Sheikh, bertanya dari luar pagar, "macamana? ok tak?". Aku jawab, "Ok sesangat. Setakat ini kita masih leading". Punya la dia seronok, tup-tup dia pegi duduk bawah pokok ketapang menangis terisak-isak sambil tutup muka. Kah kah kah! Apa punya perangai daaa...

Hari itu Azmin Ali dan Shaari Sungip menang bergaya. 

Tapi barang harus diingat, PRU kali ini lain macam. Kita akan berlawan dengan orang dah nak mati lemas. Orang dah nak mati lemas ini akan capai apa saja sekuat tenaga untuk menyelamatkan diri. Dengan kita sekali akan ditarik masuk dalam air.

PACA inilah benteng terakhir kita setelah berkempen dan berdoa sejak 2008. Bukan sedikit tenaga dan wang ringgit telah dicurahkan disitu.

Amanah yg diletakkan diatas bahu para PACA bukannya kecik ditambah pula dgn kuasa yg amat terbatas.

Jadi untuk para sukarelawan PACA yg mewakili PAS kali ni, kita hantar mereka bertugas dgn diiringi lagu Perwiraku dendangan Saloma bersama isak tangis sedu sedan. Ha ha ha..

Semoga bila kita menang, petrol turun harga, tol dimansuhkan, PTPTN kira langsai, kita akan akhiri dengan ketawa berdekah-dekah. 

Kah kah kah!!!

Klik disini untuk baca lagi

Majlis Para "Bekas-bekas"

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Bekas 1: " Saya bekas army. Saya sekarang naib canselor. Saya sokong PAS. "

Bekas 2: " Saya bekas tentera. Saya turut sokong PAS dan saya diberi kerusi di Johor. "

Bekas 3: " Saya bekas orang kuat polis. Baru je masuk PAS beberapa bulan, dah dapat kerusi Larut. "

Bekas 4: " Saya bekas businessman. Tapi sekarang saya cuma bekas Pakistan! "

Kah kah kah kah!!!

Aku merasa amat jengkel. Kenapa sekarang? Kalau PR tak sekuat sekarang, mau "bekas-bekas" ini menyertai PAS?

Belum tentu.. 

Kita inilah juga yg tertunggang-langgang memacak bendera.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Terbaru: Mat Nuar Dah Berbunyi, Jawablah Barua.

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"Kotak-kotak itu Mat Ezam nak check dulu.."
Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim dropped a bombshell on Thursday, exposing alleged attempts by the Election Commission to "divert" ballot boxes meant to be sent to its headquarters in Putrajaya to a secret hiding place in an industrial park in Kajang.

The 64-year-old Anwar demanded that the EC - which has frequently been accused of favoring Prime Minister Najib Razak's Umno party - explain the matter immediately.

"We believe these polyester big square bags, ballot boxes, meant for Putrajaya headquarters were stopped by EC Pajero and instructed to divert to Jalan SC2, Sungai Chua, Kajang. These are polyester big square bags diverted on 8 April 2013, why such a dubious manner, the EC has to immediately explain. These ballot boxes were covered as polyester big square bags meant for Election Commission headquarters were diverted midway at the toll to the industrial site Jalan SC2, Sungai Chua. These are questions that the EC must immediately explain," Anwar told a press conference on Thursday.

Shit - Sebuah Kenangan Untuk Anak Cucu

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Buku ini aku beli dikala gelora reformasi begitu memuncak. Jenuh jugak membacanya. Memang hebat Shahnon Ahmad. Taik pun dia boleh buat bahan.

Buku ini masih ada di pasaran. Dapatkan sebuah sebagai kenang-kenangan, kalau malas nak membaca sekali pun.

Isi kandungannya berkisar tentang taik@kepala taik@PM@pukimak@mahafiraun.

Kalau dahulu, Mahafiraun jadi sasaran. Seronok membedal Mahafiraun. Bukan main syok mengata Mahafiraun.

Tapi sekarang ini, sedar tak sedar di kalangan kita pun mungkin ada species shit@pukimak. Kah kah kah!

Kena ikhtiar macam mana nak buang ketulan-ketulan shit@kepala taik ini. Ianya telah keras dan mengental. 

Mula-mula sekali, menu kena ada fiber. Jangan terlampau lebih ikan.

Dimana Dr Syed Husin Ali?

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Tokoh ini nampaknya semakin hilang dari huru-hara politik M'sia. 

Aku pernah bersalaman dgnnya di Taman Melewar sewaktu kes Mat Nuar sedang hot. 

Tokoh ini lembut perwatakannya. Kalau dia berjalan di atas lantai rumah kampung, gerenti tak berbunyi. 

Two Faces/Dua Muka ialah sebuah buku karya Dr Syed Husin Ali. Tapi sayang, buku ini telah hilang dari koleksi aku. Aku yakin ini kerja mamat yg pelokek membeli buku, buat-buat lupa utk pulangkan.

Buku ini beliau tulis hasil pengalamannya berbelas tahun duduk dalam penjara. Kesalahannya? Bulu beliau didapati tidak sama warna dgn bulu pemerintah.

Di M'sia ini banyak kes bulu yg memudaratkan. Hanya kerana bulu sehelai atas tilam, Mat Nuar ke dalam. Begitu juga Guan Eng yg membela budak yg baru tumbuh bulu pahat. Cuma Raisse Stim yg masih ke hulu ke hilir lepas bebas kerana tiada bukti bulu itu dalam genggamannya. Kah kah kah!!!

Carilah bulu ini, opps ! buku karya Syed Husin ini, aku amat mengesyorkannya. Boleh menitik air mata.

Ini bukan buku hasil karya penagih pil kuda. Juga buku ini kompom tidak akan menyesatkan. Tak ada sebijik pun gambar Marx, Lenin atau Stalin. Gambar sabit dan tukul pun tak ada.

Buku ini mengukuhkan lagi kata-kata bahawa, 'jel itu mainan pejuang'. 

Hadi Awang pernah ke dalam?

Two faces. 

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Nurul Izzah Perlu Kerap Bermain Becak

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"Oh yes...Errr well.. Many thanks... You know.. bla bla bla..."

Sesekali timbul satu macam perasaan jengkel bila aku terlihat gambar anak Mat Nuar ini  bersama geng-geng Bangsarnya. Pun begitu, gambar di atas tidaklah menggambarkan perilaku Nurul Izzah yg sbenarnya. Aku cuma jengkel.

Aku cuma berpendapat dia sepatutnya lebih kerap dilihat turun bermain becak di Lembah Pantai dari minum teh dan speaking London di Bangsar.

Jadi apa yg diutarakan oleh Boo Su Lyn dari Malaysian Insider tentang betapa glamernya Nong Chik di Lembah Pantai bolehlah dibuat renung-renungan. Bukan semua dia tulis itu betul, tapi sikit salahnya. 

Aku juga ada kisah tentang Lembah Pantai yg dahulunya bekas kawasan setinggan kerana aku kerap ke sana melawat mak sedara yg tinggal di Kampung Selamat. Sebuah kampung di ibukota. Memang real kampung, budak-budak kecik main depan rumah tak pakai seluar, taik ayam merata, taik lembu merata, taik orang pun silap haribulan boleh terjumpa di tepi rel keretapi. Tambang bas Sri Jaya no. 46 dari Bus Stand Kelang ke sana tak sampai RM1 pun ketika itu.

Tempat ini amat meriah dikala Ramadhan. Segala bagai benda makan ada dijual. Bawak RM20 dalam kocek, dah kompom lesap. Ini area Melayu yg rata-ratanya, dapat rezeki RM50 hari ini, esok kena cari lain. Di sini orang membaca Utusan Malaysia, Harakah, Sinar Harian, Metro, Kosmo dan Suara Keadilan. Tak ramai yg beli The Star atau NST. Atau memang tak membaca apa-apa pun, lagi pun RTM dan TV3 kan ada?

Ini kawasan Melayu yg pencariannya sempit, walaupun bukan semua.

Bangsar pula kawasan elit meskipun asalnya cuma ladang getah. Bangsar ada sebuah kelab sukan yg mempunyai kolam renang, jadi aku juga kerap ke sana utk melepas gian-rindu-rendam terhadap Sungai Perak. Sambil berenang, dapat la bercampur gaul dengan India, Cina dan Mat Saleh. Dapat la tengok ponggong amoi-amoi putih gebu. Dapat la poyo-poyo speaking London dgn mat saleh. Phhtooooey!! Itu dulu.

Disini umatnya berduit. Rumah besar kereta besar. Kedai-kedai tak ada yg bersignboardkan Bahasa Melayu. Nak order teh pun kena bercakap orang putih, kalau tidak budak Melayu yg jadi waiter itu tidak faham. Kah kah kah kah!!!

Di sini Utusan Malaysia dan Berita Harian tak boleh cari makan. Yg laku ialah The Star, NST, the Edge, Business Times dll.

Bahasa Kebangsaan tiada tempatnya di Bangsar ini. Bahasa Melayu 'low class' di Bangsar.

Khalayak Lembah Pantai bicara soal harga beras dan harga ayam manakala khalayak Bangsar bicara tentang kebebasan media, kebebasan berkumpul, hak asasi dan macam2 lah benda2 yg canggih manggih.

Berbalik kepada kisah Nurul Izzah tak berapa suka main becak di Lembah Pantai tetapi selalu minum teh di Bangsar, aku rasa dgn peratusan Melayu sebanyak 55%, Cina 23% dan India 20%, Nurul Izzah kena pikir semula dimanakah keutamaannya.

Memang Nong Chik banyak duit dan ada kuasa. Satu Malaya dah tau. 

Tetapi, anak Mat Nuar ini nak jadi YB Bangsar atau wakil rakyat Lembah Pantai?

Monday, April 22, 2013

Hj Hadi vs Dr Nasir

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Artikel ini dicedok dari blog kulup sakah. Sedap artikel ini, kalau dak aku tak tempek kat blog aku ni. Artikel ini mewakili pandangan beliau tentang Hj Hadi dan Dr Nasir

Tentang isu pertindihan kerusi antara Pas dan Pkr, Haji Hadi dalam video yang dapat ditonton menjelaskan bahawa berlaku sedemikian selain parti rakan lambat hantar nama dan membuatkan Pas terpaksa hantar, ia bertujuan untuk menyelamatkan PR.

Haji Hadi kata ada calon PR yang Pas tak percaya, ada juga yang huru-hara dan jual pil kuda. Pas takut katak-katak akan melompat sepertimana Perak tumbang dahulu. Dalam video itu juga Haji Hadi mengutuk fahaman komunis yang diharamkan di Malaysia dan kita faham yang dimaksudkan adalah Parti Sosialis Malaysia. Haji Hadi menyifatkan Lenin, Stalin dan Marx ibarat Nabi Muhammad kepada mereka.

Paparon faham kebimbangan Haji Hadi berasas. Ada calon PKR melompat. PKR sehingga hari ini tidak belajar tentang isu ini. Letak calon payung terjun.

Tetapi Paparon nampak cara Hji Hadi ini agak angkuh dan menyinggung perasaan. Semangat kebersamaan dengan Pakatan Rakyat tidak ditunjukkan. Hadi kena ingat ketika orang PKR dan DAP melompat, ada orang Pas 'deal' dengan Umno untuk kerajaan Selangor campuran. Dan semua tahu Kerajaan Perpaduan anjuran Umno untuk berpadu dengan Pas disokong Hadi sehingga Nik Aziz sendiri mengeluarkan kata dua. Pertemuan antara pemimpin Umno termasuk Sultan Mizan tentang isu UG semua orang tau. Mujur ada Nik Aziz yang tak setuju. Hari ini taik-taik isu yang Hadi sokong ini terpalit di muka Hassan Ali, Mustafa Ali dan Nasharuddin Mat Isa. Projek 16 September gagal kerana siapa? Semua orang tahu.

Kes parti komunis ini mengingatkan saya pada 2004 apabila Nik Aziz tidak setuju Syed Husin Ali bertanding di Kelantan atas alasan Syed Husin sosialis, tak percaya Tuhan. Paparon hairan, Haji Hadi seakan baru keluar dari gua dan tidak mengenali Dr Nasir Hashim presiden PSM. Takkan Paparon nak kenalkan pula? Dr Nasir pernah ditangkap ISA dalam Operasi Lalang 1987. Sebelum-sebelum dan selepas tahun itu banyak kali juga Dr Nasir masuk lokap kerana beliau tetap konsisten memperjuangkan isu rakyat seperti pencerobohan tanah, isu pekerja dan sebagainya. Tetapi Dr Nasir tak gila publisiti, malah media dulu tidak sehebat hari ini. Siapa yang tahu.

Lapan sembilan tahun dulu Paparon sering berulang-alik ke pangsapuri Dr Nasir untuk membuat rawatan akupunktur terhadap An-Nur dan arwah Annisa. Dr Nasir caj murah. Ini ilmu yang Dr Nasir ada dan gunakan untuk berbakti. Sama juga Haji Hadi yang mencurah ilmu berkuliah di Rusila.

Kami masa itu tidak tahu siapa Dr Nasir, hanya terbaca iklan akupunkturnya di Harakah. Kami pergi. Paparon masuk pangsapurinya. Ada juga anak murid berbagai bangsa belajar dengannya. Di dinding ada beberapa lukisan yang dilukis sendiri oleh Dr Nasir. Jarang doktor berseni. Lukisan abstraknya mempalitkan kalimah-kalimah Allah menjadi indah dengan warna-warna. Ada karikatur kartunis Rossem melukiskan wajah-wajah pejuang hak asasi ketika itu. Ketika Paparon menyebut nama-nama karikatur yang dilukiskan seperti Sivarasa, Irene Fernandez dan lain-lain, Dr Nasir terkejut dan bertanya, " Awak kenal?". Paparon jawab "Ya!". Dr Nasir hanya tersenyum. Tidak pula dia ceritakan siapa dia. Cuma Paparon dan Sham syak dia tentu seseorang hebat. Barulah Paparon siasat dan akhirnya tahu siapa Dr Nasir.

Dr Nasir adalah presiden sebuah parti politik di Malaysia yang paling mudah hendak dipeluk dan berjabat tangan. Tiada pengawal menjerit keras dan tegak "Beri laluan! Beri laluan" seperti Haji Hadi ketika berada di majlis-majlis mahu pun berceramah. Salam pun tak pandang muka. Jarang juga Haji Hadi menyantuni kawan-kawan kami yang berniaga di tapak-tapak ceramah, yang menyokong dia.

Dr Nasir yang sosialis ini, yang katanya pengikut Lenin ini sejak dahulu tak pernah belot dan tunduk kepada kekuasaan. Pemimpin lain yang dikatakan hebat, pernah. Dr Nasir seperti dulu, berkemeja pudar warna, seluar longgar selesa dengan beg sempoi, kalau tidak berkasut hanya bercapal. Jarang bermuka masam ketika bersalam.

Sekurang-kurangnya itu yang Paparon nampak. Paparon tidaklah kenal dengan Haji Hadi tetapi sesiapa yang nak kenal Dr Nasir begitulah beliau. Tetapi Paparon tidaklah rapat. Tidaklah seperti kawan Paparon seperti Nalini, Bawani, Madhavi, Arul atau Mandeep dan Nazreen yang lebih rapat dengannya.

Paparon hanya cerita dari apa yang Paparon lihat dari mata Paparon- seorang mat sebok di majlis-majlis memuja dan menzikirkan nama pemimpin.

Berapa Orang Anak Perempuan Hj Hadi?

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Ayah Pin pulang mengundi?

Aku tak tahu. Aku bukan orang Terengganu.

Tapi setakat ini aku dah tahu nama 2 orang menantu laki-laki Hj Hadi dan kelakunya sekali.

1. Ustaz Din Ayam. Nama ini keluar dalam freemalaysiatoday.com dan malaysiawaves.net.

2. Usaz Akmal. Nama ini aku jumpa dalam Sinar Harian dan aku abadikan dalam blog ini melalui posting tentang kemelut yg berlaku di DUN Selama

Semua pak mertua sayang menantu.

Nik Aziz sayang Arifahmi. Mat Nuar sayang laki Izzah. Kit Siang sayang Betty Chew. Dolah lagi la sayangkan Khairy.... kah kah kah

Tapi, bak kata pepatah, 'Sayang bini tinggal-tinggalkan. Sayang anak tangan-tangankan'

Sayang menantu?


Sunday, April 21, 2013

Terbaik Dari Facebook - Power Punya Air! [Gambar]

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Kah kah kah kah!
Acah je.

Gambar ini dicedok dari facebook Michael Chiang

Power punya air!

Gali-gali Lubang : Catch-22

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Catch-22 - 'Often these situations are such that solving one part of a problem only creates another problem, which ultimately leads back to the original problem.' [wikipedia]

Sg Acheh ialah situasi yg sukar untuk chegu Bard dan rakan PASnya itu.

Ini situasi buntu yg seolahnya tiada jalan penyelesaian. Masing-masing cuma mengikut arahan parti dan sekarang masing-masing terpaksa berlagak kepala batu demi penyokong.

Kita ambik contoh kes orang terberak belakang rumah.

Kemudian korek lubang untuk mengambus/menutup taik.

Lepas tu jadi bengong, korek lagi lubang untuk kambus lubang yg dikorek tadi. 

Mengoreklah dia sehinggakan ponggong sendiri pun belum basuh. Theee he he he....

Korek punya korek punya korek... terkorek tempat taik tadi! Kah kah kah kah kah!!!

Kah kah kah!!!!

Jadi, tak payah mengorek untuk cover benda dah busuk. Satu Malaya dah tahu.

Tinggalkan Sg Acheh. UMNO dah menang disitu.

Kompom Kamalia Boleh Bertanding Tiket Bebas?

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Jangan cepat bertepuk-sorak dgn kemunculan calon-calon bebas. Jangan cepat naik stim.

Memang, dari segi teori, calon bebas Kamalia yg dulunya pro-UMNO, pastinya akan memecah-belahkan undi UMNO kepada lapanbelas bahagian. Terduduk UMNO. Untung bagi PR.

Tapi, nanti duluuuuuu....

Itu baru bab pencalonan. Itu baru geli-geli. Belum boleh singkap kain lagi.

Ketahuilah, hal-ehwal PRU ini dikendalikan SPR. Tau apa SPR?

SPR dalam bahasa Urdu maksudnya BARUA. Dalam kes negara kita yg aman sentosa makmur dan bahagia ini, SPR ialah barua UMNO.

SPR dan UMNO telah berpuluh-puluh tahun mengendali PRU. Akan dimanfaatkan setiap urat, titik dan benjol geli yg dia tahu untuk kepentingannya. 

Ingatlah, kuasa itu amat memabuk dan menyetimkan.


Saturday, April 20, 2013

Skandal Shah Alam

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Di Sarawak, ada satu patah-patah kata yg cukup menyengat telinga masyarakat Iban.

Aku pun tak berapa suka mendengar patah-patah kata itu. Bisa. Pedih.

Ianya berbunyi, "Lebih mudah dan murah membeli Iban dari membeli ikan kering"

Pernah juga dikisahkan bagaimana satu rumah panjang boleh buat pusing U-turn hanya dengan habuan beberapa kotak beer.

Namun, di Semenanjung masih belum diketahui berapa harga Hindraf dan berapa pula habuan masuk kocek Waytha/Uthaya.

Aku Bukan Lembu Yg Boleh Dicucuk Hidungnya - Yong Kamalia

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Inilah untungnya bila keterlibatan dalam politik itu tidak dibebani dengan bagasi-bagasi nepotisma dan kronisma.

Yong Kamalia telah berjaya membuktikan bahawa [lubang hidungnya masih kekal dua untuk bernyawa.]

Tidak seperti hidung Syahrezat yg lubangnya tiga. Dua lubang untuk bernyawa dan satu lubang bekas kena cucuk. 

Senang hati Idham Lim. Undi UMNO akan pecah lapanbelas! Kah kah kah!

Bumi Kuala Kangsar tanah tumpah darahku akan disinari cahaya bulan yg redup dan mendamaikan.

Kuala Kangsar dalam kocek!

Asal Bukan Cap Dacing.

PAS Dah Lama Kena

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Kit Siang jangan nanges la. Malu sama Guan Eng.Malu sama cucu-cicit.

Pas dah lama kena. PAS pernah tidak diberi kebenaran guna logo sendiri. 

PAS juga telah ditendang keluar dari Perikatan.

PKR lagi sedih.

PKR pernah ditumbuk sampai lebam bijik mata. PKR diterajang sampai lari tulang belakang. PKR pernah di'arsenik'kan. 

Tapi rambut Mat Nuar masih lebatkan?

Musa lari bila kena lutu, Ghafar menikus bila kena lutu, cuma Mat Nuar masih terpacak, tegap, keras dan mencanak!

Asal Bukan Cap Dacing.

Mana Dia Iklan Poyo-Poyo Anas Zubedy?

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Dah dekat sangat PRU, tapi masih belum keluar iklan dari Anas Zubedy dalam paper. Ruangan iklan yg dibayar mahal-mahal untuk menggosok kerandut pemerintah.

Letsaddvalue lah. Bersatu lah. Peace lah. Segala bagai poyo-poyo yg ramai orang kampung tak paham. 

Ada satu kenyataan malaon ini dalam paper/internet yg begitu melekat dalam kepala aku iaitu, 'I will remain apolitical'. Pala bana apa 'apolitical' ni? Apolitical ialah; tidak mengambik pot tentang politik dan tidak mengundi.

Malaon-malaon mcm inilah yg UMNO suka. Malaon-malaon mcm inilah yg membantu UMNO.

'Being neutral will only benefits the oppressor'. Cheeewah!!! Kah kah kah

Menengokkan gambar-gambar Anal Anas Zubedy dalam internet, aku kurang yakin malaon ini masih lagi makan pakai tangan dan bercakap Bahasa Melayu di rumah.

Namanya pun pelik, Zubedy. Yang aku tahu orang Melayu guna, Zabidi.

Pun begitu, aku tak mau  kata dia basuh berak dah pakai tisu jamban. Bab ini aku yakin dia masih menggonyoh guna tangan kanan kiri. Lepas gonyoh cium, untuk pastikan benar-benar bersih.


Kah kah kah!!!

ABCD - Asal Bukan Cap Dacing!

Friday, April 19, 2013

Habuan Terjun Separuh Bogel vs Habuan Parang Sulu

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Mungkin ramai yg tidak tahu Roy Keane bekas pemain Manchester United membuang pingat naib juara Piala FA England yg dimenanginya ke dalam Sungai Thames.

Bagi Roy Keane, pingat naib juara tiada harga. Pingat itu hanyalah pingat orang kalah. Loser's medal.

Kita di Malaysia ini, usahkan nombor 2, dapat nombor 3 pun kita julang sampai cucur atap.

Dah kita julang lambung tinggi-tinggi, kita bagi pulak dia duit sekian jumlah. Tak cukup lagi, kita sara dia seumur hidup.

Jasanya? Pingat gangsa Olimpik.

Acaranya? Terjun separuh bogel ke dalam kolam.

Bagaimana pula dengan orang yg separuh nyawa berjuang di Lahat Datu? 

Sila baca artikel Nilai Pampasan Cuma RM25 Ribu untuk tahu lebih lanjut.

Pendokong PR Wajib Melawat Zoo [Gambar-gambar Lama]

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Kah kah kah kah kah kah 
Kih kih kih kih kih kih kih!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Kisah Saiful BauKari vs Mokhtar al BauKari

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Tiada kena -mengena dengan artikel. Sekadar peringatan.

Sumber: Malaysia Chronicle

Kita boleh memilih untuk tidak melanggan Astro dan Maxis. Namun, time nak tengok bola Premier League, kita terpaksa melangut jugak di kedai mamak. Di situ sekian duit teh untuk keturunan Ananda.

Dan, boleh kita memilih utk tidak membeli beras? Sanggup mencekik ubi kayu? Disitu, sekian pulak duit utk Mokhtar al BauKari. Sebab malaon ini menguasai 45% dagangan beras seluruh negara.

45 kampit beras daripada 100 kampit beras di pasaran adalah kepunyaan Mokhtar al BauKari.

Kedua-dua malaon bukan Melayu ini ialah penyamun. Ananda tiap-tiap hari menyamun duit prepaid Maxis, al BauKari menyamun tanah rezab Melayu di Johor.

Kedua-dua penyamun ini kaya berbilion-bilion, kaya hutang. Setakat yg aku terbaca, al BauKari berhutang dgn Bank Negara sebanyak RM35.+++++++ bilion. Ananda pun lebih kurang.

Jumlah yg penyamun ini sendiri tak mampu dan takkan mahu bayar. Haramjadah kan?

Ananda dah kompom sama asal usul dengan Mahafiraun.

al BauKari dan Saiful BauKari pun species yg sama.

Dua-dua ada 2 bijik lebam atas dahi tanda kuat sujud lama atas sejadah sampai kebas-kebas tengkok.

Dua-dua mempergunakan masjid. Seekor kuat menderma repair dan buat masjid. Seekor lagi telah bersumpah dalam masjid bahawasanya, lubang ekzosnya di tala Mat Nuar.

Bezanya, al Baukari banyak duit. Kalau mau. dia boleh bayar sesiapa yg sanggup merodok lubang ekzos sendiri. Boleh guna duit note RM50, RM100, RM1,000.

Saiful BauKari kutu hamprak terpaksalah rodok dgn beg plastik merah bekas beli maggi!


Kah kah kah!!!

Cerah Bintang Rafizi Ramli

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Ada brani?

Aku pun tak tahulah apa ujung pangkal cerita yg dibawak Shamsul Iskandar. Apa kerja dia dan apa dia buat sebagai ketua AMK pun misteri juga. Kah kah kah...

Dia ketua, tapi imejnya duduk belakang kelas. Pantang lepa, keluar pergi jamban. Entah hapa la batu geliga yg dia pakai, tak tau le kita. Kah kah kah...

Hapa benda ni? kah kah kah...

Jika diberi pilihan, aku lebih suka Chegu Bard. 

Sebab, Chegu Bard hobinya mandi air gatal FRU dan bergasak dgn polis. Dia selalu terkedepan.

Rafizi pulak imejnya budak sikat belah tepi, kemeja dan seluar bergosok tajam-tajam dan pen sebatang terselit dalam poket baju.

Tapi, untuk Chegu Bard melangkau Rafizi, tak mungkin. Rafizi budak MCKK... budak grad oversea... junior berlapis-lapis Mat Nuar... kah kah kah

Namun, tak ada pasal pulak aku nak membedal Rafizi yg bijak bestari itu apatah lagi bintangnya semakin cerah ekoran [ekor Ong Tee Keat telah masuk celah kangkang.]

Cerah bintang Rafizi.

Ong Tee Keat tak payah timbang-timbang lagi. Sepak gunting terus.

Pecah undi MCA, Pandan dalam kocek Rafizi.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Bagaimana Persempadanan/Gerrymandering Menguntungkan UMNO?

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Dicedok dari Asia Sentinel


Berdasarkan daftar pemilih yg terbaru, Kapar yg dimenangi PKR pada tahun 2008 mempunyai 144,369 pengundi berdaftar manakala Sabak Bernam yg dimenangi BN mempunyai 37,390 pengundi berdaftar.

Kedua-dua kerusi ini terletak di Selangor. Perbezaan yg begitu ketara ini dapatlah disimpulkan sebagai memang satu amalan pemerintah dalam melonggokkan sebanyak mana pengundi pro-pembangkang kedalam sesebuah kawasan manakala pengundi pro-pemerintah akan diserakkan ke dalam beberapa daerah-daerah kecil untuk memaksimumkan kebarangkalian kerusi yg akan dimenangi calon pro-pemerintah.

Ong Kian Ming, Pengarah MERAP dan seorang panel dari DAP dalam sebuah forum telah menyatakan kerajaan telah melambakkan pengundi pro-pemerintah ke dalam daftar pemilih kawasan pro-pembangkang yg kritikal untuk dimenangi kerajaan. Sejak 2008, daftar pemilih di Selangor telah meningkat sebanyak 660,000.

Pemerhatian Ong Kian Ming itu hanyalah sebahagian kecil dari ketidak-adilan proses pengundian yg mana terdapat banyak isu lain yg tidak lagi diselesaikan seperti; pendaftaran pengundi palsu, pengundi diugut dan ketidak-bebasan bersuara aktivis politik.

Ini bermakna, sekiranya pembangkang ingin mengusai Putrajaya, PRU13 perlu diraih dengan kemenangan yg besar. Sumber dalaman UMNO dengan yakin mengatakan ianya tidak akan berlaku.

"Secara keseluruhan, kami sedang berusaha untuk mendapat mandat 2/3 bukan untuk membentuk kerajaan", katanya.

Pun begitu, kajian mendapati UMNO/BN hanya mendahului dengan kelebihan yg terlalu tipis masakini dan kemungkinan akan terjadi 'Parlimen Tergantung' tidak boleh ditolak.

BERSIH, yg telah bertungkus-lumus selama lebih 2 tahun untuk mereformasikan daftar pemilih, namun amat kecil sekali kejayaannya. Masalahnya, SPR yg sepatutnya badan berkecuali telah memilih untuk menjadi barua kepada kerajaan apatah lagi ianya memang terletak dibawah telunjuk Jabatan Perdana Menteri.

"Ketidak-tentuan telah menjadi seperti amalan biasa dalam setiap PRU", kata Wolfgang Shacsenroeder, professor Monash Universiti. "Membeli undi, membawa pengundi mengundi di daerah lain, mengundi berulang-ulang, pengundi hantu, memberi hak mengundi kepada warga asing dan bermacam lagi bentuk penipuan".

Suara Ong yg mewakili pembangkang dipersetujui oleh badan-badan yg memerhati proses pengundian dari negara-negara seperti India, Indonesia, Filipina dan German. Semuanya berasa khuathir dengan perkembangan yg menunjukkan pertambahan mendadak jumlah pengundi di kawasan yg telah dimenangi pembangkang. Ini sudah tentu salah satu cara untuk memenangkan calon UMNO/BN.

Senator Nick Xenopohon salah seorang dari badan pemerhati 6 negara itu telah dinafikan kemasukannya ke Malaysia atas alasan 'risiko keselamatan'.

Laporan turut menyatakan, 'daftar pemilih amat meragukan kerana terdapat berpuluh ribu pengundi yg tidak dapat dipastikan kewujudan mereka'. Manakala, anggota tentera bimbang tindakan akan diambil sekiranya memilih untuk mengundi pembangkang.

Menurut Ong, terdapat 3.7 juta pengundi baru di seluruh Malaysia. 34% didaftarkan oleh parti politik, 29% berdaftar melalui Pejabat Pos, 20% melalui SPR manakala 10% melalui JASA.

JASA ini pun cukup haramjadah. Ianya dibolehkan buat kerja ikut suka hati memandangkan ianya dibawah kementerian penerangan dan diketuai oleh Datuk Fuad Hasan yg dikalahkan oleh Azmin Ali pada tahun 1999.

Beliau sendiri memberitahu media, "JASA adalah barua Barisan Nasional juga, yg mana tugasnya ialah terbabit dalam aktiviti popaganda. Kami akan mengumpul maklumat dan maklumat-maklumat tersebut akan dipergunakan untuk menguntungkan Barisan Nasional. Skop tugasan kami amat luas dan melebihi skop Cawangan Khas".

Pembangkang melakukan kejutan pada tahun 2008 apabila memenangi negeri terkaya di Malaysia, iaitu Selangor. Hari ini, jelas Ong lagi, 8 daripada 10 kerusi yg mempunyai pengundi muda teramai adalah dari Selangor.  Manakala 2 lagi terletak di Johor. Johor juga disebut-sebut sebagai antara negeri yang akan jatuh ke Pakatan Rakyat.

"Sebab musabab pembahagian/persempadan pengundi yg tidak adil ini sudah tentulah untuk menguntungkan UMNO/BN", kata Ong. "Kesemua kerusi yg berkepadatan tinggi dimenangi PR manakala kerusi-kerusi kecil yg beratus itu dimenangi UMNO/BN."

Kerusi-kerusi kecil ini kebiasaannya terletak di pinggir bandar dan di luar bandar. Sudah tentulah orang Melayu yg menyokong pembangkang akan berasa terpinggir.

Aura Zol Kolom: Shah Alam Dalam Kocek

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Zol Kolom bukan calang-calang orang.

Aku pernah terserempak dgn Zol Kolom beberapa tahun lepas, terus dia dgn muka confident menegur, "Bob, selalu lu lepak kat sini?"

Begitulah hebatnya Zol Kolom, nama orang pun dia tahu.

Semasa Mat Nuar 'kedalam', Zol Kolom pernah berceramah, "Bila saya usap kepala Mat Nuar, luruh dan melekat rambutnya pada tangan saya. Itulah penangan racun arsenik tuan-tuan". Auta! Walhal ketika itu Mat Nuar tidak dibenarkan didekati mana-mana manusia sekalipun.

Hebat Zol Kolom bercerita menarik perhatian orang.

Allahyarham Fadzil Nor juga diberitakan mengarahkan pemandunya supaya memulas stering berpatah balik sekiranya majlis yg bakal dihadiri turut 'dibintangi' Zol Kolom.

Hebatnya Zol Kolom, Ustaz Fadzil pun surrender.

Kah kah kah! Itulah sebahagian kisah ciput-ciputan utk menunjukkan betapa hebatnya aura Zol Kolom.

Terkini, UMNO Shah Alam tak payah susah-susah berkempen. Kerja mereka sudah selesai. Shah Alam dalam tangan. 

Togoklah baki air mineral sampai kembong.

Dah boleh tutup bilik gerakan. Setakat ini 3 bilik gerakan dah kompom tutup.

Perabeh boreh. 

Shah Alam dah masuk kocek Khalid. Kah kah kah

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The Return of Zol Kolom Part 3

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Dalam ramai-ramai malaon dalam UMNO, ada tiga ketui kepala taik yg aku amat nanti-nantikan pencalonan mereka.

1. Broheng 'Raja Berudu' Ali
2. Zol Kolom
3. Asang Ali

Setakat ini, hanya seketui yg dicalonkan, iaitu Zol Kolom. 2 ketui lagi boleh mangkor dan carilah kerandut lain untuk digosok diurut.

Zol Kolom di calonkan di parlimen Shah Alam. Kah kah kah kah!!! Parlimen woooi! 

Bukan kecik anak. Sah ramai malaon UMNO sendiri pun pening kepala memikirkan pala bana apa auta Zol Kolom sampai boleh dapat Parlimen Shah Alam?

Kompom dalam mesyuarat, ramai yg gosok-gosok kepala sendiri dan cium. Kah kah kah hancing! Free-free kena kencing dgn Zol Kolom. Kah kah kah!

2 sebab Zol Kolom dicalonkan di Shah Alam;

1. Memang nak bagi dia hilang deposit. (Tengok, duit sapa pulak kena kelepet)
2. Saja nak bagi lauk kat Khalid Samad.

Auta Zol Kolom telah masyhur sampai ke India. Hasil ber'ayahanda-ayahanda' dengan Mahafiraun, dapat Zol Kolom jadi calon. Jgn jeles.

Ingatlah, Zol ini bukan sembarangan. Hakim pun kalau dia budget boleh kelepet, kompom dia kelepet.

Inikan pulak Mahafiraun tulang belakang herot-benyot. Kah kah kah!

Sahaja Aku Sangkutkan Teloq Aku...

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Putrajaya ialah kandang orang kerja gomen.

Sejak merdeka hinggalah PRU 2004, orang-orang gomen samalah seperti orang Sabah dan Sarawak, fixed-deposit peti undi UMNO/BN.

Dari Tunku Siam membawa ke Mahafiraun Kerala, orang-orang gomen ini telah ditanamkan satu benda dalam tengkorak mereka yakni bila benda itu aktif mereka akan cepat-cepat tersedar bahawa yg bayar gaji mereka ialah UMNO! Tanpa UMNO mereka hanya mampu makan timun. OK, bukan semua.

Jadi letak la Hadi ka, Stopa ka, Nik Aziz ka, jangan harap bendera PAS akan berdedai sepanjang jalan.

Kalau tloq Najib dipegang Rosmoh (dah pulangkan balik), tloq orang gomen ini sangkut kat mesin punch-card. Kah kah kah kah!

Dari sebesar-besar pengarah ke pembantu pejabat, semua tloq kena display. Jangan ada tloq yg nampak besar dan merenin sikit. Cari pasal....

Kawan aku yg sebesar-besar punya pengarah itu pun masih lagi ada macam-macam tahyul tentang Mat Nuar/PR. 

Menurutnya, setiap kali Mat Nuar pergi luar negeri, mesti dia mintak satu bilik khas. Tak ada sapa boleh kacau. Sapa pun tak boleh masuk. Entah hapa ilmu hitam Mat Nuar. Wan Azizah pun tak boleh masuk. Ntah hapa Mat Nuar mandrem.

Kah kah kah!

Mesti la Mat Nuar itu mencari bilik khas....... Apa la punya tahyul. Mat Nuar pun macam kita jugak.

Mat Nuar pun makan minum, lepas tu berak la dia! 

Kah kah kah kah!

Monday, April 15, 2013

Geng 'Bekas' Cari Makan

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Betapa nak mamposnya UMNO dan kelihatan semakin kuat PR menyebabkan Mat Taib bekas MB Selangor pun isi borang PAS. 

Ini satu trend terbaru politik, 'bekas-bekas' ternama akan pakai kopiah dan isi borang PAS.

Satu bekas untuk kerusi Langkawi
Satu bekas untuk kerusi Larut

Yg ini pun kalau dipakaikan kopiah, pakai kain pelikat 
pergi ceramah, kita akan bagi dia kerusi.

Dibawah ini pula disertakan gambar sebuah bekas Pakistan dan bekas kumpul taik.

Dah jadi bekas Pakistan kah kah kah!!!!

Bekas kumpul taik

Batuk Barua

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Barua UMNO

Ini cerita bab barua besar. Barua jerung.

Bukan barua kampung. Barua kampung cuma ikan bilis.

Barua kampung ialah barua yg mengekor ketua kampung ke setiap kenduri tahlil, niatnya cuma nak makan free lepas solat Isyak. Ini dipanggil balaci, belum sampai level barua. Jadi orang sekeliling tak berbulu lubang telinga sangat.

Yang orang berbulu segenap rongga ialah si barua besar yg hidup senang lenang. Makan sedap. Rumah besar. Kereta besar. Gaji besar. Bini besar. Tapi, tidur belum tentu lena.

Kerja barua 2 ekor ini menipu. Sempena PRU13 ini kita akan menyaksikan lagi bagaimana barua-barua ini buat kerja sambung menyambung menipu.

Terbaru, warna dakwat pun rahsia! Kerja lain tak ada, meniiiiipu sampai ujung nyawa.

Mari kita doakan agar barua 2 ekor ini kena penyakit batuk kering.

Kalau kita batuk, terkokoh-kokohlah kita sampai terbongkok-bongkok bagai nak putus urat perut.

Tapi barua punya batuk lain macam, ini dia barua punya batuk.


Saturday, April 13, 2013

Reflections By An Arab Jew

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by Ella Habiba Shohat

Ella Habiba ShohatWhen issues of racial and colonial discourse are discussed in the U.S., people of Middle Eastern and North African origin are often excluded. This piece is written with the intent of opening up the multicultural debate, going beyond the U.S. census's simplistic categorization of Middle Eastern peoples as "whites."

It's also written with the intent of multiculturalizing American notions of Jewishness. My personal narrative questions the Eurocentric opposition of Arab and Jew, particularly the denial of Arab Jewish (Sephardic) voices both in the Middle Eastern and American contexts.

I am an Arab Jew. Or, more specifically, an Iraqi Israeli woman living, writing and teaching in the U.S. Most members of my family were born and raised in Baghdad, and now live in Iraq, Israel, the U.S., England, and Holland. When my grandmother first encountered Israeli society in the '50s, she was convinced that the people who looked, spoke and ate so differently--the European Jews--were actually European Christians. Jewishness for her generation was inextricably associated with Middle Easterness. My grandmother, who still lives in Israel and still communicates largely in Arabic, had to be taught to speak of "us" as Jews and "them" as Arabs. For Middle Easterners, the operating distinction had always been "Muslim," "Jew," and "Christian," not Arab versus Jew. The assumption was that "Arabness" referred to a common shared culture and language, albeit with religious differences.

Americans are often amazed to discover the existentially nauseating or charmingly exotic possibilities of such a syncretic identity. I recall a well-established colleague who despite my elaborate lessons on the history of Arab Jews, still had trouble understanding that I was not a tragic anomaly--for instance, the daughter of an Arab (Palestinian) and an Israeli (European Jew). Living in North America makes it even more difficult to communicate that we are Jews and yet entitled to our Middle Eastern difference. And that we are Arabs and yet entitled to our religious difference, like Arab Christians and Arab Muslims.

It was precisely the policing of cultural borders in Israel that led some of us to escape into the metropolises of syncretic identities. Yet, in an American context, we face again a hegemony that allows us to narrate a single Jewish memory, i.e., a European one. For those of us who don't hide our Middle Easterness under one Jewish "we," it becomes tougher and tougher to exist in an American context hostile to the very notion of Easterness.

As an Arab Jew, I am often obliged to explain the "mysteries" of this oxymoronic entity. That we have spoken Arabic, not Yiddish; that for millennia our cultural creativity, secular and religious, had been largely articulated in Arabic (Maimonides being one of the few intellectuals to "make it" into the consciousness of the West); and that even the most religious of our communities in the Middle East and North Africa never expressed themselves in Yiddish-accented Hebrew prayers, nor did they practice liturgical-gestural norms and sartorial codes favoring the dark colors of centuries-ago Poland. Middle Eastern women similarly never wore wigs; their hair covers, if worn, consisted of different variations on regional clothing (and in the wake of British and French imperialism, many wore Western-style clothes). If you go to our synagogues, even in New York, Montreal, Paris or London, you'll be amazed to hear the winding quarter tones of our music which the uninitiated might imagine to be coming from a mosque. Now that the three cultural topographies that compose my ruptured and dislocated history--Iraq, Israel and the U.S.--have been involved in a war, it is crucial to say that we exist. Some of us refuse to dissolve so as to facilitate "neat" national and ethnic divisions. My anxiety and pain during the Scud attacks on Israel, where some of my family lives, did not cancel out my fear and anguish for the victims of the bombardment of Iraq, where I also have relatives.

War, however, is the friend of binarisms, leaving little place for complex identities. The Gulf War, for example, intensified a pressure already familiar to the Arab Jewish diaspora in the wake of the Israeli-Arab conflict: a pressure to choose between being a Jew and being an Arab. For our families, who have lived in Mesopotamia since at least the Babylonian exile, who have been Arabized for millennia, and who were abruptly dislodged to Israel 45 years ago, to be suddenly forced to assume a homogenous European Jewish identity based on experiences in Russia, Poland and Germany, was an exercise in self devastation. To be a European or American Jew has hardly been perceived as a contradiction, but to be an Arab Jew has been seen as a kind of logical paradox, even an ontological subversion. This binarism has led many Oriental Jews (our name in Israel referring to our common Asian and African countries of origin is Mizrahi or Mizrachi) to a profound and visceral schizophrenia, since for the first time in our history Arabness and Jewishness have been imposed as antonyms.

Intellectual discourse in the West highlights a Judeo-Christian tradition, yet rarely acknowledges the Judeo-Muslim culture of the Middle East, of North Africa, or of pre-Expulsion Spain (1492) and of the European parts of the Ottoman Empire. The Jewish experience in the Muslim world has often been portrayed as an unending nightmare of oppression and humiliation.

Although I in no way want to idealize that experience--there were occasional tensions, discriminations, even violence--on the whole, we lived quite comfortably within Muslim societies.

Our history simply cannot be discussed in European Jewish terminology. As Iraqi Jews, while retaining a communal identity, we were generally well integrated and indigenous to the country, forming an inseparable part of its social and cultural life. Thoroughly Arabized, we used Arabic even in hymns and religious ceremonies. The liberal and secular trends of the 20th century engendered an even stronger association of Iraqi Jews and Arab culture, which brought Jews into an extremely active arena in public and cultural life. Prominent Jewish writers, poets and scholars played a vital role in Arab culture, distinguishing themselves in Arabic speaking theater, in music, as singers, composers, and players of traditional instruments.

In Egypt, Morocco, Syria, Lebanon, Iraq and Tunisia, Jews became members of legislatures, of municipal councils, of the judiciary, and even occupied high economic positions. (The finance minister of Iraq in the '40s was Ishak Sasson, and in Egypt, Jamas Sanua--higher positions, ironically, than those our community had generally achieved within the Jewish state until the 1990s!)

The same historical process that dispossessed Palestinians of their property, lands and national-political rights, was linked to the dispossession of Middle Eastern and North African Jews of their property, lands, and rootedness in Muslim countries. As refugees, or mass immigrants (depending on one's political perspective), we were forced to leave everything behind and give up our Iraqi passports. The same process also affected our uprootedness or ambiguous positioning within Israel itself, where we have been systematically discriminated against by institutions that deployed their energies and material to the consistent advantage of European Jews and to the consistent disadvantage of Oriental Jews. Even our physiognomies betray us, leading to internalized colonialism or physical misperception. Sephardic Oriental women often dye their dark hair blond, while the men have more than once been arrested or beaten when mistaken for Palestinians. What for Ashkenazi immigrants from Russian and Poland was a social aliya (literally "ascent") was for Oriental Sephardic Jews a yerida ("descent").

Stripped of our history, we have been forced by our no-exit situation to repress our collective nostalgia, at least within the public sphere. The pervasive notion of "one people" reunited in their ancient homeland actively disauthorizes any affectionate memory of life before Israel. We have never been allowed to mourn a trauma that the images of Iraq's destruction only intensified and crystallized for some of us. Our cultural creativity in Arabic, Hebrew and Aramaic is hardly studied in Israeli schools, and it is becoming difficult to convince our children that we actually did exist there, and that some of us are still there in Iraq, Morocco, Yemen and Iran.

Western media much prefer the spectacle of the triumphant progress of Western technology to the survival of the peoples and cultures of the Middle East. The case of Arab Jews is just one of many elisions. From the outside, there is little sense of our community, and even less sense of the diversity of our political perspectives. Oriental-Sephardic peace movements, from the Black Panthers of the '70s to the new Keshet (a "Rainbow" coalition of Mizrahi groups in Israel) not only call for a just peace for Israelis and Palestinians, but also for the cultural, political, and economic integration of Israel/Palestine into the Middle East. And thus an end to the binarisms of war, an end to a simplistic charting of Middle Eastern identities.