Friday, January 14, 2011

So You're A FOOTIE..

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Jadi Bahan Lawak. Sapa Nak HORMAT?

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Laughter Is The Best Medicine from  Hornbill Unleashed

1. Najib, Pak Lah, and Old man Mahathir were patrolling in a helicopter.

Old Man Mahathir: “If I drop a piece of RM1000 note from here, the person that picks it up must be very happy.”

Pak Lah: “If I throw two pieces of RM500notes down, it will make 2 persons happy.”

Najib: “If I drop TEN pieces of RM100notes, there will be 10 happy people.”

The pilot murmuring to himself: “Why don’t all of you just jump down from here, that will make 25 million people happy.”

2. Samy V wished to enhance his reputation by publishing a series of stamps with his portraits.

1 month after the launch, Samy surveys its sales.

Post Office Chief: “Not bad… but we got quite a number of complaints that the glue is not strong enough.”

Samy: : “Really…?”

He spits at the back of the stamp and sticks the stamp on an envelope: ”The glue seems ok.”

Post Office Chief:: “Yes, but every one spits on the front of the stamp ….”

3. Midnight, Najib went for supper and bumped into a robber.

Robber: “Give me all your money!!”

Najib was very angry: “I am the honorable Prime Minister!”

Robber: “Well, then … return all my money.”

4. One fine day, Najib, Muyahiddin and parliament members were on the way to a meeting where they all crashed in an accident and was rushed to the hospital.

The reporters were at the hospital, the doctor shook his head “We have done our best to rescue the PM but …”

Reporters:”How about Muyahiddin?”

Doctor:”We were unable to rescue him either …”

Reporters:”Who have you saved?”

The doctor was excited:”Malaysia is now saved!”

5. Samy V visited the psychiatric hospital. All the patients hurray for him but there is one patient who ignored Samy.

Samy: “Why does he not welcome me?”

Doc: ”He is normal today (not insane).”

6. Election campaign time — car load of politicians were involved in a car accident.

A farmer saw and rushed to the scene but all the passengers were dead.
He buried all the passengers.

Few days later, the police in charge found the farmer and asked where all
the politicians were and was told that they had all been buried.

Police: “Did they all die?”

Farmer: “Hmmm, Samy was screaming that he is still alive when I buried him”

Police: “Then why you bury him anyway?”

Farmer: “Because Samy never tells the truth.”

Cleaning Is Praying, Praying Is Cleaning

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by  Maria Rodale

I recently read a wonderful novel by a Turkish author, Elif Shafak, called The Forty Rules of Love. It's a powerful book, but one of the lines that struck me most was "Cleaning is praying. Praying is cleaning." Why? Well, to me, the feeling of being in a totally clean place is so peaceful and freeing, I feel there is nothing between me and God--it's a sort of heaven on earth. When things are messy and dirty, I feel a heaviness that feels like depression, and like I am in a hole I can't get out of...kind of like hell on earth. Most women, and a few good men, know that keeping something clean is temporary at best. The perfectly cleaned kitchen is marred by the first meal. A lovely cleaned living room is, for some reason, a favorite place for pets to vomit (don't get me started about the white chair in my office!!) So cleanliness is never permanent; it's a process...and the process of cleaning is, to me, a lot like praying.