Saturday, September 28, 2013

Ingat Lagi Jasa Jack Abramoff?

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Grip and grin: Mahathir Mohamed and George Bush share a moment in the Oval Office in May 2002.
gambar hiasan

Jack 'jackass' Abramoff ini pernah diupah oleh Mahafiraun.


Mahafiraun mengupah Abramoff untuk menjayakan cita-citanya bersalam,  cium tangan dan isap kuku dgn barua Yahudi antarabangsa, George Bush.


Abramoff telah digosok dan dibayar sejumlah USD1.2 juta. Mahafiraun kata bukan duit kerajaan, bukan duit dia atau duit kroni dia. 

Mungkin Ayah Pin lempar duit dari langit.

Khabar2 angin boleh didapati disini, disana dan disinun.


Bekas PM kita pun bercita-cita nak jadi perunding mcm Abramoff gamaknya.
Dr M: RM20j tugas perunding? Saya pun boleh
 
Selepas kerajaan membelanjakan RM20 juta sebagai yuran perundingan bagi Pelan Induk Pembangunan Pendidikan, bekas Perdana Menteri, Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad dengan sinis berkata beliau juga boleh melakukannya. >>>>>baca lagi disini

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Singapura Darul Ber'air-air'

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Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan,

jangan lah hairan. Janganlah melongokan mulut masuk lalat. Janganlah senyum kembang kempis idong bila mendengar berita-berita pecah panggung box-office dari UMNO/BN.

Kerajaan akan buat baaa...........aanyak lagi universiti utk bumiputra. Akan baaaaa.........nyak lagi program membantu orang kampung. Akan bagi baaaaaa.............nyak lagi BRIM, BROM, BRUM.

Idop Melayu! Idop Melayu! Lambong songkok tinggi-tinggi.

Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, pemilihan UMNO dah dekat. Semua nak jadi panglima.

Selama hari ni tak sedar bagi air murah ke Spore? Mana ada dalam ceruk dunia ni orang jual air 1000 liter harganya 0.03 sen?

Nak kaji? Sekali Pakcik LK Yew ramas buah baru taw. Kah kah kah kah!!!

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Terbaek Dari Facebook: Satu Lagi Penegak Melayu Dijumpai

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Semasa aku bujang dahulu, aku pernah berbuat baik pada seorang rakan karib aku, Mee Misai. Namanya sempena misainya yg lebat dan melentik. Kerjanya drebar bas Metro.

Satu hari Mee Misai mengadu sakit kepala dan badan seram sejuk. Kebetulan aku ada sebijik pil ajaib pemberian sorang lagi rakan. (dah arwah pun orangnya, al-Fatihah please...)

Aku pun bagi kepada Mee Misai. Mudah2an mujarab dan sembuhlah sakit kepalanya.

Esok harinya, Mee Misai datang marah-marah kepada aku. "kau bagi aku ubat menatang amende semalam?"

"Ubat sakit kepala lah", aku jawab dan aku dah mula nak gelak menengokkan mukanya.

"Ubat sakit kepala tengkorak kau! Seharian dalam bas, batang aku keras tegang dalam seluar kau tau? Nak bawak bas pun tak senang!"

Aku mana tau boleh jadi begitu, aku cuma nak buat baik. Kah kah kah kah!!!!


Sebelum ini, aku pernah posting tentang Sebenar-benar Penegak Melayu!. Semalam, aku jumpa lagi satu penegak Melayu mutakhir.

Sesungguhnya, bangsaku Melayu amat perkasa. Kah kah kah kah!!!



24-jam terpacak tu Doooool...! Try la sodok bawah peti ais tengok, boleh angkat tak??!

Kah kah kah kah!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Raja Dolar Dan Menteri Sembelit

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Raja kepada segala raja didunia, Raja Dolar
Wahai Obama,

Nak makan suap lah sendiri, apsal pulak nak berjamu bertanggung. Sendiri ada kaki dan tangan.

Kalau nak menonggang anak beranak, pakai la duit sendiri. Beli lah botol sebesar mana pun, boleh.

Nak berak pergi jamban. Bukan cangkung dalam tong. Apa pasal pulak nak suruh orang buangkan?

Jalan sesak lu senang-senang suruh orang ke tepi. Orang lain pun nak cepat. Semua orang nak cepat. Nak cepat pergi sungai, naik sampan.

Kayuh la sendiri. Kalau tak kayuh, macam mana nak jalan? Kah kah kah

Muka meneran taik keras. 

Give way, VIPs do not want to be late!

Harakahdaily - TS,23 September 2013
Sept 23:  Domestic Trade, Co-operatives and Consumerism minister Hasan Malek claimed that he hasreceived “complaints” about Malaysian drivers’ bad driving ethics of not showing respect to country’s leaders. read more

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Communism Is Not Evil, But Chin Peng Is No Hero

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This is a copy-and-paste article. Source: http://www.loyarburok.com.
A good read for the short and lazy Sunday, I can guarantee you.

To all of Communist and Chin Peng sympathizers, I would like to share with you some knowledge that I gained from my Cold War and Communism studies for 4 years, up till university level. I believe that there is some confusion about Communism and Chin Peng among Malaysians. As Malaysians growing up, we have been taught in our KBSM History subject that the Communists and Chin Peng himself were evil. This is a story not properly told.

Our (Malaysian) version of history is very much skewed from a narrow, local perspective. This subject should be taught from a global perspective, as the Cold War, which was the origins of Chin Peng, was an international event. However, I do not blame KBSM for this, because it is impossible to tell the whole story about the Cold War, as it is extremely complicated and long. In order to determine whether or not Chin Peng and Communists are evil one has to learn the history of the Cold War, which has a 4-decade time frame. In fact, it is the longest War of our century that started way back in 1948, to 1990. I’ll make it brief here.

I studied about the Cold War during A-Levels, up till my university years in The London School of Economics and Political Science. The study of Communism is banned in Malaysia. To formally study about Communism, one has to make an application to the Special Branch. Thus I consider myself lucky to be able to have pursued this subject in great depth at the LSE. Hence, I feel obligated to share what I know with Malaysians, in conjunction with Chin Peng’s passing.

To those who barely know about the Cold War, it is was a period when the USA and Soviet Union (Russia) had an ideological battle. The USA championed the Capitalism ideology, a brainchild of Adam Smith. The Soviet Union, was expanding the Communism ideology by Karl Marx. Capitalism is an ideology that advocates free, competitive market, with no, (or more realistically, limited) government intervention in the economy. Communism on the other hand believed that government intervention in the economy is necessary to provide everyone with equal amount of resources. Each has its pros and cons. However, here I would like to emphasize on the degree of government intervention, as this was the key point of conflict between the two ideologies.

Because Communism believes in full government intervention, it is perceived by the USA as being no different from a dictatorship. In contrast, the Communists saw capitalism as a business ideology that encourages profit-making at the expense of others. Because Westerners were driven to make profit, they became imperialists, always seeking new resources to the extent of colonizing other nations in the name of business. Both are not wrong. The 19th century was an era of colonization, spearheaded by the British Empire and the Soviets had a reason to fear imperialism. On the other hand, the 20th century began with the rise of fascist regimes like the Nazis, where Hitler exercised full government control over economic affairs. As the leader of the democratic world, the USA had a reason to feel threatened by dictatorships. Long story short, both the USA and the Soviet Union embarked on a mission to spread their ideologies across the globe during the Cold War.

Up till the late 1980s, the world was pretty much divided into two; the Western and the Eastern block, each led by the USA and the Soviet Union respectively. The USA’s allies were Western Europe, including Great Britain. The Soviet Union influence spread across much of the Eastern Europe. You may be wondering which block Malaysia belonged to. Although we are located on the eastern side, we were under the influence of the USA, via Great Britain. In fact all other British colonies used the capitalist system.

During the Cold War period, Communism expanded into China in 1950s. After China, it crept into South East Asia. This was where the likes of Chin Peng and Ho Chi Minh came in.

Ho Chi Minh was the leader of the Vietcong, the communist rebels in Vietnam Meanwhile, Chin Peng headed Bintang Tiga also known as Parti Komunis Malaya (PKM), the communist rebellion in Malaya. Although Ho Chi Minh’s Vietnam War was in the 1960s, and Chin Peng’s insurgency was in the 1950s, there was a lot of resemblance between the two leaders. Both had a similar aim, to pursue independence. Both also wanted to enforce the communist ideology onto their country’s administrative system once their struggles succeeded. Of course the two of them had different methods of achieving the aim, due to difference in political circumstances they faced in their respective nations. This is where one ended up being hailed as a national hero, when the other was labeled a terrorist, and later exiled.

Ho Chi Minh led North Vietnam against the USA-dominated South Vietnam. The USA launched an all out war against the north. They killed many North Vietnamese along the way. The USA used Agent Orange (a chemical weapon) that caused birth defects that runs through generations, the effects of which persist till today. To put it simply, it was overkill by the USA onto the Vietnamese. As such, a massive retaliation by the Vietcong was understandable. Much like Chin Peng, Ho Chi Minh retaliated and killed many Pro-USA south Vietnamese, as how Chin Peng killed many of our own Pro-British Malayan forces. The British however, did not use Agent Orange in Malaya, nor did they commit brutal murder and burn our villages like what they did in Vietnam.

Chin Peng somehow maintained the inhumane methods used during the struggle against the Japanese invaders (because the Japanese were cruel to China). While the killings of our police forces aligned to the British were debatable, slaughter, mass murder of innocent civilians, village burnings, and assassination attempts on top officials were not.

The period of 1940s-1960s was a time of peaceful decolonization. It was a time where the imperialists, namely France, Spain and Great Britain were letting their colonies go, through peaceful handing over to the local leaders. As the leader of Malaya, Tunku Abdul Rahman embraced this transition and brought about our independence through peaceful means. We were not in an all out war like the Vietnam War that required aggressive action on the side of a rebel group. The communist insurgency lasted until 1960s, even after 31st August 1957. Yet, violence from the Bintang Tiga continued. Chin Peng led Bintang Tiga that terrorized, slaughter, caused fear and despair among not just Malays, but Chinese and Indians that supported Parti Perikatan. They did all that in the name of independence, something we were already getting in a peaceful way from the British. In fact other colonies of the British were getting independence the same way. There was no justification for aggression, much less, brutality. Some would dismiss the casualties as collateral damage of war, but it is not the case if we burn villages, slaughter, and commit mass murder on those who do not support our cause.

The reason as to why he continued to wage war against the British and Malaya was to institute Communism, under the direction of the Soviet Union. The Soviet Union wanted to make Malaya their satellite state, like Eastern Europe. Chin Peng wanted independence from the British, only to have Malaya colonized by Soviet influence. Which was why they continued to fight. Nevertheless, I would like to make it clear that fighting for communism without external influence (the way China did, independent of Soviet Union) was not the problem, but violence was. In fact, during ‘Pertemuan di Baling’ between Tunku and Chin Peng, the former did not agree to legalize Parti Komunis Malaya because of its brutal methods and it would have been morally wrong to acquit the murderers. In other words, if Tunku legalize PKM, it would have meant that Chin Peng and his rebels get to free themselves from murder charges. Of course Chin Peng would not accept an unconditional surrender either, which was why the meeting failed to reach a consensus.

As an economics and history student, I do not believe the communist ideology could work (this is yet another debate), but I do not consider the ideology evil, as indoctrinated onto us by Western propaganda. However this does not mean I am pro-dictatorship. The system could work if mixed with capitalism, which China has been quite effective in doing. What I would consider as pure evil, is brutality and murder of the innocent. No matter what the intentions were, even if it was to fight for an ideology, violence is not the answer. Our civilized society should reject it, exactly the way we rejected the violence committed by Osama bin Laden, who believed he fought for Islam.

Of course during the time of the communist insurgency, Malaya was not spared from the Western propaganda that demonized Communism. Which is why today, this indoctrination remains fresh especially in the minds many Malaysians. The word ‘komunis’ is somewhat taboo in this country. However, I believe that the communist ideology itself should be subjected to an open economic and political debate on its viability as a system for a country. The term ‘komunis’ that is used in Malaysia actually refers to ‘Bintang Tiga’, a group of violent rebels headed by Chin Peng that championed the communist ideology. Unfortunately, due to the confusion of this term, we have some Malaysians advocating for Chin Peng using his ideological struggle as a basis for their sympathy. We hear some people saying that Chin Peng was not wrong to pursue Communism and lauded him for fighting the Japanese and British in the name of independence. Pursuing an ideology and struggling for independence are not wrong. Violence is wrong and that was the method used by Bintang Tiga. It is also wrong to free our country from one colonizer only to surrender the sovereignty to another. Remember, we were in a Cold War period when Soviet Russia was expanding their influence in the eastern side. Chin Peng’s call for independence was not genuine. Some may argue that Tunku’s version of independence was not genuine because in the end, we enforced capitalism under British advice. Again we have to look it from a global perspective to appreciate that the independence British gave us in 1957, freed ourselves from their effective control. The Soviet Union satellite states in Eastern Europe, were not free because the authoritative and interventionist nature of the communism system. In other words, had Malaysia been under Chin Peng, we would find the Soviet Union controlling our state affairs they way they did for the Eastern Europe and USSR states.

Some accuse the government of contradicting themselves for having bilateral relations with Communist China but at the same time, demonizing Chin Peng, a communist leader. The Malaysian government, although inheriting the capitalism system from the British, did not hate the Communist ideology the way USA did, which was why Tun Razak established bilateral relations with the People’s Republic of China (PRC) in 1974. At this juncture, the PRC, which is a Communist nation, isolated themselves from PKM by issuing a statement of no-support for PKM’s brutality in Malaysia. Communism is an ideology that was painted as evil by the Western world during the Cold War as a psychological war tactic. To me, Communism is not evil. Communism is a system that is in conflict with the USA’s. But it is not to be confused with PKM, which was a group of people that was hoping to use the end to justify the means. One needs to know about the Cold War in order to make a clear distinction between the Communist ideology and Bintang Tiga. Islam is not evil, as an ideology, but Al-Qaeda is evil. More than 2,000 innocent civilians died on 9/11. 10,000 Malaysians perished as a result of the communist insurgency. Millions of Malaysians lived in fear of communist brutality. Yes, Chin Peng fought the Japanese and deserve credit for that. The Taliban also freed Afghanistan from Russia in 1989. Nevertheless, the deeds of the past could not vindicate the acts of terrorism they committed later on.

To sum up, there has been some confusion between Communism and the role of Chin Peng. The notion that our KBSM Sejarah has not given us a clear picture about the history of Chin Peng, is to some extent true. It has been unable to give a global perspective to a topic that can only be understood appropriately from nothing less than a global perspective. Which is why I can understand why certain people have doubts about what has been taught to us about Chin Peng by KBSM Sejarah. But despite its lack of depth, it brought about what I consider to be an accurate message: Chin Peng was not a hero. Fortunately, KBSM Sejarah does not demonize the Communist ideology. It merely revealed the cruelty of Chin Peng and Bintang Tiga. As a matter of fact, KBSM Ekonomi Asas properly explains the Communist ideology from an economic standpoint. Hence KBSM’s effort, given its limited ability to cover such a broad topic should be commended.

So, when asked whether or not Chin Peng was a hero, I would say he was not. Academically, I do not have a problem with the Communist ideology, but I do have a problem with the atrocities of Bintang Tiga a.k.a Parti Komunis Malaya. Should his ashes be allowed to be buried in Malaysia? No, because the tomb will be hailed by certain quarters. Indeed, the ashes could not resurrect and threaten our lives. However, the death of Chin Peng revealed to the nation who Chin Peng supporters have been all these years. He should be buried at sea away from anybody’s reach. It would be deemed offensive to Malaysians, even more so to the families of the brutally killed victims, should his remains be brought into the country and hailed like a hero.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Balaci Akan Pulang Bawak Lauk

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"Umno Youth chief aspirant Akhramsyah Sanusi said he has received endorsement from Kedah Umno chief Datuk Mukhriz Tun Mahathir to contest the post" -- The Star Online

Sendiri bertanding tak mau. Sebabnya;

1) Mungkin dah tua. Had umur tak membenarkan.
2) Perit kalah dulu tak hilang lagi.
3) Memang penakot.

Hantar balaci pun hantar balaci lah. Balaci bawak balik lauk, pakat makan sama-sama.

Kah kah kah!

Friday, September 20, 2013

Minyak Ditemui Di FELDA

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Tengokkan gayanya, macam tu lah. Seolah-olah ada takungan petrol yg besar tersembunyi di bawah tanah FELDA.


Sekarang tengah giat projek pajak-memajak tanah FELDA.

Kuat betul tarikan Tanah FELDA. Saham jatuh masuk lubang jamban ke, buah sawit turun harga ke, minyak turun harga naik 2 kupang ke. Semuanya ini tidak mendatangkan kesan kepada peminat tanah FELDA..

Akan datang ke Felda Gunung Besout
Mungkin betul ada petrol dibawah Tanah FELDA. Pakcik-pakcik dan makcik-makcik, sabor le, jangan jual, pajak atau gadaikan tanah tu lagi. Sabor.

Sebab kita takut tanah lesap, yg tinggal nanti cuma minyak angin Cap Kapak dalam beg tangan.

Kah kah kah!


Thursday, September 19, 2013

Senarai Pelancung Yg Tak Mau Balik

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12.5 juta lawat M'sia hingga Jun
11:17AM Sep 19 2013 
Malaysia menerima ketibaan 12.5 juta pelancong dari Januari hingga Jun tahun ini, kata Menteri Pelancongan dan Kebudayaan Datuk Seri Mohamed Nazri Abdul Aziz. ...lagi


Berikut pula pecahan terperinci statistik diatas mengikut negara dan jantina.

3 juta dari China - semua perempuan, kerja jadi China Doll (tak kan balik selagi tak jadi ayam pencen)

3 juta dari Mongol - semua perempuan, kerja jurubahasa/waktu malam jadi tukang gosok (tak kan balik selagi tak diugut dgn C4)

2 juta dari Pakistan - kerja jual karpet/part time gigolo kpd pembeli karpet (tak kan balik selagi tak dapat I.C merah)

2 juta dari Bangala - kerja pelari anak dara/part time kerja ladang (takkan balik selagi tak 'merasa' 33 pompuan Melayu)

1 juta dari Nigeria - kerja repair komputer/part time mengapor janda kaya ( takkan balik selagi duit tak cecah sejuta)

1 juta dari Vietnam - kerja kontrek/part time tangkap anjing dan makan! (takkan sebab anjing ada merata2, boleh makan free)

500,000 orang lagi datang dari segenap pelosok dunia. 
Dari Argentina pun ada! 

Mereka inilah yg akan beramuk, bergaduh dan berparang berebut-rebut nak bawak teksi Nazri! 
Kah kah kah

Ada Udang Disebalik EPF

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Aku ni, dah sampai tahap dimana kalau aku dengar makhluk UMNO/BN bercakap, 10 patah perkataan keluar dari mulut dia, 18 patah perkataan aku tak percaya.

Kalau dah berbuih-buih macam Sabery lagi aku tak percaya! Ka kah kah kah

Maknanya, sebelum makhluk UMNO/BN ni bukak mulut lagi aku dah cop dia nak menipu.

Sekarang ni, kerajaan UMNO/BN cuba nak berlemak-lemak dengan pencarum EPF. Nak jadi tukang nasihat, kununnya.


Boleh percaya ka Dol? Kita dengar dan tengok dulu wayang dia. Dengar boleh, percaya jangan.

Dah berbelas tahun kita dibagi dividen 5%, 6%, 7%. Benda apa ni? Sedangkan duit dalam tu, bertimbun-timbun.

Ini maknanya, bodo.

Bodo tak reti mengurus. Sebab apa bodo? Sebab pengurusannya bodo. Kenapa pengurusannya bodo? Sebab kepala bana yg duduk diatas itu bukan dilantik kerana merit. Tapi kerana perit dengan bendera UMNO/BN.

Jangan tak tau, EPF ialah badan pengurusan dana kewangan yg ke-6 terbesar di dunia. Aku tak tau negara nombor 1,2,3,4 & 5, cuma agakkan aku mungkin negara-negara Scandinavia dan Jepun. Mungkin.

Sejak aku mula mencarum di EPF dan telah berhenti mencarum, tak pernah terdengar ada khidmat nasihat percuma kepada pencarum yg nak keluar perabih duitnya dalam EPF. Ini suda bagooooos....

Ini pala bana apa nak bagi khidmat nasihat? Duit aku, aku punya suka la Dol?!?!


Takkan la nak keluarkan RM25,000-00 pun kena celoteh. Kah kah hka kah kah!!!


Mungkin kita akan di interview waktu nak keluarkan duit.

Encik EPF: Nak keluarkan semua ke ni, tau dah nak buat apa?
Encik Dol: Hmmmmpf...zzzt zzzt!?

Encik EPF: Kami ada menawarkan khidmat tara cas satu sen pun.
Encik Dol: Hmmmm zzzzt zzzt mmmmmmpfff.....?!

Encik EPF: Kalau encik bersetuju, encik boleh melabur kedalam firma pengendali dana-dana persaraan yg telah kami lantik. Pulangannya aaaaaaaaaaamat tinggi!
Encik Dol: Hmmmmmmmmmpes...@#%&!!&*!!!

Kah kah kah kah!!!!

Nampak?
Kong kali kong, nak masuk tembolok puak dia jugak!

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Sebenar-benar Penegak Melayu

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Sapa sangka, Mat Belia ini ialah pejuang dan penegak bangsa Melayu;

Bekas presiden Majlis Belia Malaya (1994 - 1998)
Bekas presiden Gabungan Pelajar Melayu Semenanjung (GPMS)
Bekas Ahli Dewan Undangan Negeri (ADUN) Benta, Pahang.
Bekas Tokoh Jasa Belia Lelaki 2010.

Semua jawatan dan anugerah di atas berada dibawah tajuk Melayu. Pengundinya pun majoriti Melayu. Rezekinya membesarkan/memanjangkan taik mereka anak bini sekeluarga adalah kerana dia Melayu yg kononnya berjuang dan menegakkan bangsa Melayu.

Wang 1Azam yg dikatakan telah disonglapkannya pun juga berada di bawah tajuk Melayu. 1Azam ialah projek membasmi kemiskinan, kononnya. Orang kuat UMNO yg kaya raya, realitinya.


Tegakkan Melayu! Idop Melayu! Idop ketuanan! Lambong songkok tinggi-tinggi!

Alah, ini baru perangai Setiausaha Politik. Macam ini nak harapkan menteri-menteri menegakkan bangsa Melayu?
Eleh, sikit punya hal la baru sepuluh bijik..


Ini dia penegak bangsa Melayu yg sebenar-benarnya, hanya RM5-00 sebngkus. Kah kah kah!

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Terbaek Dari FB: Ringgit Kena Jerut

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Artikel ini dicedok dari FB Malaysia


Biarlah nilai matawang kita susut. Biarlah 2 kupang Singapoora = RM2.00 pun tak mengapa.

Tak mengapa, asalkan M'sia ini aman. Kah kah kah!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Senarai Dato Itu & Dato Ini di Multaqa

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Apa benda multaqa ni? Multaqa membawa maksud 'pertemuan'. Kalau silap, sapa2 yg pandai tolong betulkan.

Ini senarai para Dato Itu & Dato Ini yg pergi multaqa;

Dato' Seri Abdul Hadi Awang,
Dato' Haji Mahfuz Omar,
Dato' Dr. Mahfodz Mohamad,
Dr. Mohamad Khairuddin at Takiri,
Dato' Dr. Johari Mat,
Dato' Nik Zawawi Salleh
Dato Seri Nizar pergi/tidak aku pun tak tau.
Mungkin ada lagi yg aku miss.

"Err.. Dato, this way please..."
"Hmmm... by the way Dato...".
"Silakan Dato, sila, sila"
"Dato, you dah breakfast?"
"Dato, enta dah bukak e-mail enta?",
"Opppppps! Sori Dato, Sori Dato"
"Dato, u kenot b laik dat laaaa... kah kah kah",

"Dato, u no la mi spik inglis... hahaha"

Berapa kerat Dato dalam DAP?

Din Ayam jangan risau, tak lama. Tak lama lagi. Mandapat punya..

Kompom dapat Dato Seri dari Terengganu.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Haron Taib Dah Mula Bersiul

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Nak kaji kesepakatan dalam Pakatan Rakyat, katanya.

Banyak sangat pertukaran kerusi dari PAS untuk PKR, katanya.

Boleh melemas melemah PAS, katanya.

Nak buat AJKKKKKKKKKKK untuk mengkaji persepakatan itu katanya.

Pekak ke hapa? Kerana sebelum ini, telah tiga muktamar PAS berturut-turut meluluskan usul agar hubungan dalam Pakatan Rakyat diperkukuhkan.

Tiga muktamar la lebai! Bukan mesyuarat J.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.

Kita ahli PAS ini masih tak sedar, kita cuma dapat sisa kupasan kulit bawang sahaja. Segala isinya dah habis dibedal si Rafizi Ramli. Tak reti basa malu ke?!?

Apa yg Haron Taib tak sebut cuma, "Ini semua Anwar punya pasal la!" 

Kah kah kah

Biarlah Haron mengkaji. Sebab para ilmuan bijak pandai memang kerjanya mengkaaaaaaaji...

Haron oh Haron.

30 Minit Pun Tak Lalu Dah

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Pergilah ke Suria KLCC atau pergilah ke kaunter penyambut tetamu di mana-mana hotel 5 bintang dan cubalah berBahasa Melayu.

Kalau Minah/Mamat tu Cina/India memang kompom dia balas balik dengan B Inggeris.

Paling palatnya, kalau Minah/Mamat itu Melayu macam aku dan engkau, kita akan tengok betapa seksanya dia nak jadi orang puteh. Sedangkan kejap lagi waktu makan tengahari dia akan meleser di lorong-lorong belakang bangunan mencari nasi campur.

Indonesia tidak. Dah ramai kena pelempang kerana tak bertutur bahasa kebangsaan. Bahasa Indonesia itu kebanggaan.

Kita jadi caca marba begini sebab dasar pendidikan kita. PPSMI idea barua Mahafiraun masih diguna pakai, belum lagi dimansuh sebenar-benarnya hingga sekarang.

Kita masih tak sedar bahawa orang putih dah lama berambus. Masih lagi nak jadi hamba.

Orang Jepun, China, Taiwan, Jerman, Perancis semuanya mencarut dalam bahasa ibunda masing-masing. Mereka tetap maju. 

Jangan jeles, orang Cina di Malaysia tau tinggi nilai bahasa ibunda. 

Extra 30 minit pun dia dah tak lalu.

Pemuda MCA mahu BM di SJKC kekal 210 minit
7:26AM Sep 14 2013 
Pemuda MCA meminta Kementerian Pendidikan menimbang untuk mengurangkan masa pembelajaran bahasa Malaysia di sekolah jenis kebangsaan Cina (SJK) (C) kepada 210 minit seminggu daripada 240 minit seminggu yang ditetapkan di bawah rangka tindakan pendidikan nasional. ...lagi di Malaysiakini

Friday, September 13, 2013

Terbaek Dari Facebook: Sedap Makan McDee?

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Artikel ini aku cedok dari Soffi Jikan FC



Dah berapa ekor babi ko org makan...?


Berita Penting ... Majlis Kehakiman Islam ( MJC ) dan IQSA telah menarik balik pengesahan daripada McDonald. Acccording ke pejabat dapur di Florida , Amerika Syarmikat , kajian ke dalam bahan-bahan McDonald telah menunjukkan bukti positif bahan babi yang dipanggil " LM10 " digunakan dalam Mayo McDonald . 

Pegawai Afrika Selatan McDonald telah mengesahkan bahawa semua bahan-bahan berasaskan sos yang diimport dari Amerika Syarikat. (Muslim) pengguna dinasihatkan untuk menahan diri daripada McDonald. Majlis Kehakiman Islam ( MJC ) dan IQSA juga telah menarik balik pensijilan di seluruh negara. Ia adalah tanggungjawab anda untuk memberitahu orang lain ....

JAZAQ - ALLAH Khair !

Info utk dikongsi bersama2... ~SEBARKAN~~
SOFFI JIKAN FC
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Sebelum-sebelum ini pun aku ada post tentang apa sangat faedahnya makan ayam tanpa nasik.

Kita orang Melayu membesar dengan nasik. Kecik-kecik mak bapak suap dgn bubur nasik.

Orang Melayu tabiat makannya dengan tangan. Ada gulainya. Ada ulamnya. Ada sambalnya.

Tapi bila dah bekerja dan ada duit sendiri ramai yg gemar sesangat makan ayam tak bernasik. Kembang lubang idong bawak anak bini masuk kedai beraircond. Dia ingat ponggong dia putih sangat la bila order makan cakap bahasa orang puteh? 

"I like it spicy please..." Ptoooey! Puuui!!

Dia tak tau yg dicekik dalam tembolok itu bukan ada zat. Yg dicekik itu banyaknya, lemak, gula, garam, perisa tiruan dan segala bagai mak nenek bahan kimia lain.

Itu blom sebut '....babi......' kah kah kah kah!

Tak tau ke minyak menggoreng segala benda dalam kedai tu guna minyak recycle? Minyak masak recycle ini ialah minyak masak paling bahaya dalam dunia. Baik menggoreng guna petrol, kah kah kah!

Kalau bagus sangat McDee ni, cuba la suap anak dengan bubur McDee tiap-tiap hari. Tengok apa jadi?

Tengok ponggongnya, makin hari makin putih ke?

Kalau tak putih jugak, sagat dengan kertas pasir aje laaaa. Kah kah kah!!!


Sunday, September 8, 2013

Maradona Kata 'yahanu' Pele Kecik!

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The childish back and forth between 52-year-old Maradona and 72-year-old Pele has been going on since dragons roamed the earth and as the two legendary players sink deeper into retirement, it only becomes more puerile.

Speaking at conference in Sao Paulo intended to serve as a rally against the corruption of CONMEBOL, Maradona was presented with an old photo showing a fully nude Pele with Franz Beckenbauer and their New York Cosmos teammates in the shower. "I want to know who was the greatest," said the journalist who gave him the photo, referring two the two buck naked all-time greats. Maradona's response?

Pointing to Pele's genitals and laughing, he said: "This was the smallest."


Given how long the photo has been around and the fact that Pele was once a spokesman for Viagra, jokes about his dong aren't anything new. Usually Maradona's Pele material is based around his Brazilian counterpart mixing up his pills. Meanwhile, Pele's countryman Romario, who was also on the panel with Maradona, has taken to keeping it simple in recent months by just calling Pele an imbecile.

This is what great footballers do when they get old.

source: http://sports.yahoo.com

Kisah Seorang Ayah Beli Laptop

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Artikel ini dicedok dari Media Orang Kampung


Ada seorang bapa datang ke kedai, melihat-lihat seperti pelanggan lain. Aku menerjahnya, "Pakcik, laptop..." - dia tersenyum dan masih melihat-lihat laptop yang ada di kedai. Aku menyambung lagi, "Nak beli untuk anak ke?", "Ya, nak beli untuk anak - dia nak sambung belajar - laptop yang mana yang ok?".

Aku mempromosi barang seperti biasa - aku biasanya mengsyorkan yang paling murah. "Kalau nak yang bagus mahal pakcik - tapi kalau setakat nak buat belajar yang nie lah, Samsung - seribu seratus lebih je...". Dalam aku bercakap dengan dia, dia banyak diam dan seperti berfikir.

Sedikit lama dia terdiam, dia membuka mulut "Nanti saya datang balik ya, duit tak berapa nak ada lagi ni..." - pergi dengan suatu perasaan yang lain.Aku dengan rutinku berkerja setiap hujung minggu sahaja, kebetulan - aku duduk di kaunter menunggu pelanggan - dia datang semula ke kedai, tapi dengan anaknya - perempuan. "Yang mana ya yang haritu, ada lagi tak?", "Yang nie Samsung haritu, tapi yang nie stok baru - harga sama je", aku menyambut soalan nya.

Dia bertanya kepada anaknya, "Yang nie ok ke dik?" - "Ermmm, ok ke nie murah je - karang rosak karang susah..." jawabnya dengan muka yang kurang puas hati - anaknya seperti menginginkan yang lain yang lebih mahal. "Yang acer nie x boleh ke ayah?", ayahnya terdiam seketika dan menyambut dengan negosiasi, "Yang acer nie berapa boleh murah lagi?" - "Yang tu tak dapat dah pakcik,... Dah harga kos dah tu..." aku dengan rasa geram namun masih dalam nada yang baik menyambung lagi, "Dik, nak laptop untuk belajar kan... Rasanya kalau untuk belajar - yang nie lebih dari cukup - rosak tak payah pikir sangat - warenti setahun.".

Aku mengeluarkan kata-kata tersebut atas dasar aku seperti mengerti kerut wajah bapanya."Oklah, yang ini." jawab anaknya. Sedang aku menulis resit dan membungkus laptop dari meja 'display' - aku terpandang bapanya yang mengira duit untuk membayar - aku nampak dompetnya kosong - habis semua duit digunakan untuk membayar laptop. Dia menyerahkan duit kepadaku dan aku mengiranya semula - dia melihat tanganku yang mengira. Habis aku mengira - wang aku masukkan dalam cash drawer, "Cukup duit tadi dik?" - "Cukup, Terima Kasih ya...". Dia dan anaknya meninggalkan kedai. 

Aku hanya menahan airmata mengira duit yang diberikan - RM1, RM5, RM10 dan hanya sekeping RM50. 

Aku membayangkan dari mana si ayah mencari duit untuk membeli sebuah laptop untuk anaknya - penuh harapan.Aku geram kepada anaknya - seperti dia tidak tahu ayahnya bagaimana - hanya tahu minta. Aku tahu ayahnya tiada duit, dia dah sebut awal-awal pada aku, aku nampak airmukanya, aku perhati sekeping-sekepi­ng duit yang diserahkan. Aku tahu dia tiada duit pulang ke rumah dan perlu 'mengais' untuk hari esoknya.

Ya Allah, ampunilah segala dosaku, dan (dosa) kedua ibubapaku, dan rahmatilah keduanya sepertimana mereka mendidikku pada waktu kecil. Amin...

KONGSIKAN sbg tanda sayang kita pada ayah ibu...anak zaman sekarang bukan tahu ibu bapa ada wang atau tidak..mereka cuma mahu apa yang mereka mahu.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Najb Sewel

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Bukan aku kata. Kalau aku kata pun, memang patut. Sebab aku pembangkang.

Tapi yg mengata ni bukan pembangkang, orang UMNO sendiri.

Bagi aku, Najib ini macam pokok getah tua menanti hari nak tumbang, burung belatuk pun tak sudi lagi mencari ulat dibatangnya. Cari batang baru la.... kah kah kah

Ini keratan posting Syed 'mamakkutty' Akhbar Ali diblognya Outsyedthebox,

Outsyedthebox

Friday, September 6, 2013

Serigala Pun Tahu Petrol Naik 2 Kupang

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Jangan jadi kelu. Jangan jadi bebal.

Akuilah hakikat bila harga petrol naik. Yang lain akan turut menggatal naik.

Beras naik harga. Gula naik harga. Tepung naik harga, minyak masak.

Teh tarik dah naik 2 kupang, selaras!
Roti canai naik 2 kupang, selaras!

Harga rumah pun khabarnya akan naik 10%. Gilo!

Sejarah telah mencatatkan bila Khalifar Umar Abd Aziz naik takhta, Badwi di gurun pun tahu kerana serigala telah boleh berjinak-jinak dengan sekawan kambing.

Begitu juga apabila perginya Khalifah Umar, Badwi di gurun telah awal lagi menjangkakannya kerana serigala yg selama ini tidak mengganggu ternakan telah mula mengganas kembali.

Itu lah peri pentingnya kita memilih pemimpin. Binatang pun tahu.

Kalau binatang pun mengambil kesempatan, apatah lagi manusia?

Kenaikan harga petrol bukan sahaja akan menaikkan segala bagai harga di sekeliling kita.

Berawas-awas, berwaspada dan beringat-ingatlah kita. Jaga anak bini.

Kerana disebabkan 2 kupang, kadar JENAYAH pun turut akan naik!

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Matawang Ringgit Malaysia Laku Dalam Kubur

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Nazri: Cadangan Rafizi bodoh

Menteri Pelancongan dan Kebudayaan, Datuk Seri Mohamed Nazri Abdul Aziz menyifatkan cadangan agar menteri menggunakan duit sendiri untuk mengisi minyak sebagai "cadangan bodoh". http://www.malaysiakini.com

Semua orang di Tanah Malaya ini sedar bahawa satu haram tak guna bercakap soal dosa pahala dengan pemimpin UMNO/BN.

Mungkin yg dimaksudkan Rafizi itu, menteri kena isi petrol sendiri ialah untuk urusan peribadi. Nak pergi pasar, pergi nite club, gunalah kereta sendiri dan isi minyak dgn duit gaji yg berploh-ploh ribu itu.

Hatta, Khalifah Umar sekali pun menggunakan lilin kerajaan semasa urusan rasmi tetapi, lilin itu dipadamkan bila anaknya masuk melawat dalam opis.

Toksah cerita bab azab api neraka. Nanti dikata, 'api memang la panas bodoh!'

Jangan sebut perihal azab kubur. Nanti dia kata 'hang dgn kubur hang, aku duduk dalam kubur aku, bodoh!'.

Jangan bukak tajuk sakitnya sakaratul maut. Kompom dia akan kata, 'mati lambat lagi. Mahafraun pun hidup lagi la bodoh!"

Puak-puak ini sedang berjimat cermat dan sibuk mengumpul duit banyak2 nak dibawak masuk kubur. 

Malaikat terima matawang Ringgit Malaysia la bodoh! 

Kah kah kah kah!!!



Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Bung Mohktar Mampu & Dapat 'Naik Minyak' Baru!

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Ladies and gentlemen,

the greatest aphrodisiac is not your tongkat ali, your kacip fatimah, your viagra or whatever whatnot have you.

the greatest aphodisiac is money and power!

kalau mamat Bung Mohtar ni kerja tukang repair paip, agak2 bini artis dia sekarang ni nak duduk sekerusi dengannya? 

Jgn mimpi la. 

"You ni bau klorin lah!" Kah kah kah kah


Dicedok dari Pakatan Harapan Rakyat

3 September 1998 Kita Mula Mengenal Mahafiraun

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Sejak 3 September 1998 aku telah kompom jadi pembangkang.


Sejak itu aku telah mula berlanggan Harakah.

Sejak itu kita telah sedikit demi sedikit disajikan dengan nama-nama Azizan, Umi Halfida, Hakim Cekelat Hacks, Munawar Anees, Musa Tilam dan ramai lagi.

Ketika itu Saiful Baukari mungkin masih lagi berak cair dalam pampersnya! kah kah kah Ketika itu dia baru mengenal dan bermain-main dengan beg plastik merah yg ibunya dapat dari kedai runcit.

Sejak tarikh itu juga kita rakyat M'sia dihidangkan dengan persoalan 'bulu sapa?', 'air lendir apa' dan 'tompok-tompok sapa?'

Yg tak tahu menahu bab ada jantan tujah lubang ekzos jantan lain, mula bertanya sendiri, 'kambing ada buat cam tu tak?' Kah kah kah kah!


Sejak tarikh itu juga perbendaharaan kata rakyat M'sia bertambah. Kita telah mula mengenal apa itu liwat! Budak darjah 3 yg reti membaca, pun pasti akan faham.

Terima kasih Mahafiraun!

Monday, September 2, 2013

Kisah Wanita Tua Penjual Kerepek

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Kita semua rakyat marhaen mesti pernah pergi mencekik bersama keluarga di medan selera.

Kita tidak mampu menyerahkan batang leher untuk disembelih di Ritz, Glitz mahu pun di Blitz. Kopi dan kiub gulanya pun sama harga dengan beras Jati 10 kilogram.

Medan selera tiada prestij, manusia keluar masuk lalu lalang.

Selain tauke gerai, budak Cina jual DVD turut mencari makan. Kadang-kadang ada Kakak Gedebap jual moist cake. Ada Mat Indon menjaja batu geliga asli yg dipungutnya sendiri dari mulut naga. Bangla jual karpet dan mengkuang pun ada! Itu aku betul2 menyampah.

Paling aku tak selesa, penjual kerepek.

Sebab penjual-penjual kerepek ini rata-ratanya wanta berumur yg bayanya lebih kurang mak aku. Sedih aku.

Dibawah ini aku paparkan artikel yg dipungut dari http://samadjfr.blogspot.com mengisahkan wanita tua penjual kerepek.

Wanita Tua Itu..

jam kurang lebih 12 malam.. pulang dari menonton wayang gambar di teluk intan.. menyangkut di medan selera.. memesan semangkuk sup dan seekor puyuh digoreng berlada.. tanpa nasi.. sambil berkomentar tentang hidup.. kenyang melayan perasaan..

secara tiba-tiba disapa.. seorang wanita tua yang lesu wajahnya.. membawa karung plastik besar berwarna merah pada kiri dan pada kanan lengan.. aneka kerepek terisi di dalamnya.. tanpa diminta.. beberapa bungkus kerepek disusun di atas meja.. wanita tua tidak bersuara.. selain menyebut harga.. 3 bungkus 10 ringgit.. aku ambil sebungkus dan hulurkan not 10 kepadanya.. "cukup.. selebihnya untuk makcik".. wanita tua berlalu tanpa ucapan terima kasih..

wanita tua terus bergerak dari meja ke meja.. kebanyakan masa, kehadirannya tidak dipedulikan..

wanita tua..

memandang susukmu seumpama aku melihat kelibat arwah ibu.. ahhh.. kecamuk fikir mengeluarkan kuku lalu mencakar-cakar jiwaku.. ketuaanmu menyebabkan aku berasakan kau tidak sepatutnya dalam keadaan itu.. keletihan-merayu-berlegar di pasar manusia untuk mempertaruh untung nasib.. di mana anakmu..?

wanita tua..

pulanglah.. kerana aku bimbang.. kau tidak berkesempatan mengenal waktu rehatmu..


Beli aje la. RM10 dapat 3 paket.

Marlboro RM10.50 sepaket mampu beli. Appa raaa!