Monday, March 18, 2013

Gelang Patah Potong Stim

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Alamatnya lambat lagi daaa...lambat lagi la PRU.


Ini gambar 30,000 umat. Di Gelang Patah. Bukan di Melaka. Bukan di Negeri Sembilan. Bukan di Pahang.

Ulang sekali lagi, di Gelang Patah, Johor. Negeri yg kununnya kubu kebal tak lut satu apa UMNO.

Aduuuu laa.. lambat lagi. 

Terbaek Dari Facebook - The America We Don't Know

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Umpama 'Kerala Lupakan India'

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Nantikan di pawagam berdekatan

Kerajaan sepatutnya mengharamkan orang Sabah berumahtangga di atas air, titah Mahafiraun.

Titah pribumi Sabah pula, tak haram pulak bagi I.C biru kepada pendatang?

Tak haram mencekik gaji PM hasil menipu di Sabah?

Mahafiraun mudah lupa, orang yg duduk atas air itulah yg menolong dia duduk lama atas singgahsana.

Tanpa budi orang-orang atas air, anak Mahafiraun belum tentu boleh jadi tauke todi San Miguel. Belum tentu anaknya boleh jadi supplier petrol kepada MAS. Belum tentu Mahafiraun boleh berkawan dgn tauke Astro.

Apa pulak hukum perempuan botak pakai rambut palsu? Kah kah kah!!!

Pssssst! Cikgu Nak Pangkah UMNO Lagi?

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Artikel ini aku kutip dari Tranungkite hasil tulisan ibnuabbas. Ikutilah keluh-kesah, panas miang, panca-roba dan pahit-manis seorang cikgu. 

Selesai membaca, berjanjilah pada diri, lihatlah tangan kamu dan ungkapkan, "Aku haramkan tangan aku ini dari memangkah UMNO dan sekutunya".

Amacam?
.........................................

Saya adalah seorang guru yang telah berkhidmat di sekolah Kementerian Pelajaran selama lebih 10 tahun. Selama 10 tahun tersebut, saya telah mengajar sebanyak lima buah sekolah. Sekolah pertama saya ialah di Sabah. Sekarang saya telah berpindah ke Semenanjung dan bertugas di salah sebuah sekolah harian yang berada di pinggir sebuah bandar di semenanjung.

Selama saya bertugas di sekolah ini, terlalu banyak masalah yang saya hadapi dan para guru yang lain juga menghadapinya. Ini adalah suasana sebenar apabila berdepan dengan pengurusan dan pentadbiran di mana-mana sekolah di bawah Kementerian Pelajaran. Masalah yang didapati hampir serupa sahaja di sekolah yang berada dalam kawasan kampung yang diuruskan oleh Jabatan Pelajaran di bawah Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia.

BOSAN DENGAN SUASANA

Apa yang saya hadapi hari demi hari dalam masa bertugas di sekolah ini ialah rasa bosan yang teramat sangat. Rakan-rakan guru yang lain juga memberikan respon dan jawapan yang sama apabila mereka memikirkan apa yang sedang dihadapi. Andaikata terdapat kerja lain yang lebih sesuai dengan jiwa dan perasaan saya, sudah lama saya berhenti dari menjadi guru. Semua aktiviti dan P&P di sekolah amat menjemukan dan mengundang rasa malas dan bosan untuk melaksanakannya, tambahan pula dalam suasana PRU 13 yang semakin hampir. Ini kerana masing-masing guru merasa tidak sabar ingin mengecapi perubahan yang bakal dilakukan oleh kerajaan baru yang diharapkan dapat mengambil alih kerajaan sedia ada agar segala pengurusan sekolah menjadi lebih baik.

ISU DISIPLIN PELAJAR

Berbalik kepada suasana dan keadaan di sekolah, suasana pelajar yang tidak berdisiplin ketika berada di dalam kelas dan di dalam kawasan sekolah amat ketara. Tidak sedikit pelajar yang menghisap rokok, berambut panjang, memakai rantai datang ke sekolah, memakai seluar koyak dan ketat, mempamerkan keadaan pakaian dan penampilan yang kotor dan tidak terurus, berkumpul dan lepak di tandas pada waktu rehat hatta pada waktu P&P, bebas keluar masuk kelas dan keluar masuk dari kawasan sekolah serta merayau-rayau di luar kelas tanpa sebarang aktiviti manfaat yang dilakukan. Semua ini perkara biasa yang kami alami dan kami hadapi setiap hari pada masa bertugas. Keadaan ini amat menyakitkan hati kami dan menggugat kewibawaan kami sebagai seorang guru.

Masalah ini disebabkan disiplin dan peraturan sekolah yang terlalu lemah dan longgar. Pelajar sudah mula pandai melawan guru, tidak hormat kepada guru dan memperleceh guru. Pelajar bermasalah tidak diambil tindakan sewajarnya oleh pihak berwajib yang seolah-olah membiarkan sahaja ianya terus berlaku, bahkan guru pula yang ditukarkan ke sekolah lain. Pernah suatu ketika, pelajar melawan dan memukul guru kerana guru tersebut menegurnya kerana membuat bising sewaktu peperiksaan percubaan SPM sedang berjalan, pelajar tersebut mengejar guru hingga ke dalam kereta.

Apabila hal ini dibawa ke dalam mesyuarat disiplin, guru yang terlibat akhirnya ditukarkan ke sekolah lain, sedangkan pelajar hanya digantung sekolah selama dua minggu. Ini menampakkan bahawa kesilapan guru lebih besar dari kesilapan pelajar dari sudut peraturan Kementerian Pelajaran, yang dikatakan langsung tidak membela guru tetapi membela pelajar yang melakukan kesilapan. Begitu juga hukuman merotan pelajar, terlalu banyak pengecualiannya dan hanya dibenarkan kepada Pengetua dan guru disiplin sahaja. Merotan pula hanya boleh dijalankan di tempat yang tertutup.

PENTADBIR SEKOLAH YANG TIDAK ADIL

Suatu ketika, guru Kemahiran Hidup yang sudah 10 tahun pengalaman mengajar, tetapi ditukarkan ke sekolah lain dan diganti dengan guru baru posting yang tiada pengalaman. Guru tersebut cuba membetulkan pentadbir dalam pengagihan peruntukan panitia yang didapati mahu digunakan dan dialihkan oleh pentadbir untuk tujuan lain. Hasilnya guru tersebut dituduh melawan pihak pentadbir dan akhirnya ditukarkan ke sekolah lain. Ini menyebabkan para pelajar tidak dapat menimba ilmu yang sepatutnya dari guru yang berpengalaman tersebut. Pentadbir memberi alasan yang tidak munasabah mengapa guru yang begitu jauh dan lama pengalamannya dipilih untuk ditukarkan dan diganti dengan guru lain yang baru setahun jagung, sedangkan kerja guru tersebut di sekolah amat cemerlang dan baik serta pengajarannya amat memuaskan.

Guru-guru dan pentadbir sentiasa bergaduh dan sentiasa tuduh-menuduh, fitnah memfitnah, menceritakan dan menyampaikan keburukan sesama mereka sehingga menyebabkan guru menjadi tension untuk mengajar dan menjalankan tugas. Guru-guru seolah-olah tidak mahu mematuhi arahan pentadbir disebabkan sikap pentadbir (pengetua) berat sebelah dan tidak professional terhadap guru yang selalu menyalahkan guru dalam apa jua masalah yang berlaku.

Guru Cemerlang yang suka menghina dan memperlekeh guru-guru lain menyebabkan budaya berkelompok wujud di kalangan para guru dan kerja berpasukan (teamwork) hilang. Guru-guru biasa merasa terhina dan tertekan dengan sikap Guru Cemerlang di sekolah berkenaan. Para pelajar mengadukan hal ini dan mengatakan sebahagian guru menceritakan perihal guru-guru lain semasa berada di dalam kelas.

Pentadbir membuat aduan kepada PPD untuk menyalahkan guru kerana prestasi yang buruk sedangkan pentadbiran yang bercelaru dan berkecamuk menyebabkan prestasi pelajar merosot. Hasilnya PPD datang dan memberi amaran serta memarahi guru-guru yang tidak bersalah. Guru merasa tertekan dengan sikap pentadbir.

Pentadbir menghina dan memperlekehkan kemampuan guru-guru yang telah dilantik oleh Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam dan Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia dengan mengatakan guru-guru tidak memberi sebarang keuntungan dan kebaikan kepada sekolah, sedangkan setiap hari guru datang ke sekolah untuk mengajar. Penghinaan tersebut menyebabkan guru tiada mood untuk mengajar. Pentadbir didapati memberi hadiah kepada guru-guru tertentu sahaja yang rapat dan sentiasa bersama dengannya, manakala guru-guru lain dihina begitu teruk sekali sehingga dikatakan tidak memberi apa-apa sumbangan kepada pihak sekolah. Ini menunjukkan sikap seorang pentadbir yang amat tidak professional.

Pentadbir sekolah mengatakan mana-mana guru yang tidak suka berada dan mengajar di sekolah itu hendaklah berpindah ke sekolah lain. Ini amat mengecewakan para guru kerana semua guru telah pun mendapat pengiktirafan oleh Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam dan Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia untuk mendidik dan mengajar. Beliau tidak sepatutnya mengatakan sedemikian.

REPUTASI DIKEJAR, AKHLAK TERABAI

Pentadbir sekolah sentiasa menyebut-nyebut dan memberitahu para guru bagaimana cara untuk mudah naik pangkat dan cepat lompat ke DG48, DG52, DG54, JUSA C dan sebagainya. Itulah yang diwar-warkan selalu di hadapan para guru di dalam mesyuarat. Beliau juga terlalu mengejar anugerah, nama, glamour dan pangkat seperti perjanjian dengan pihak Jabatan yang menjanjikan imbuhan kewangan dari pihak Jabatan Pelajaran untuk meraih title dan anugerah tertentu, menyebabkan urusan yang lebih penting seperti disiplin (ramai pelajar ponteng dan tidak masuk kelas, melawan dan memperlekehkan guru) menjadi terabai dan menyebabkan sahsiah, akhlak serta kebajikan pelajar semakin hari semakin tidak diambil tahu dan dibiarkan. Begitu juga penekanan terhadap tugas-tugas asas guru seperti memantau dan menekankan para guru agar sentiasa masuk kelas, menjaga dan menyediakan kemudahan dan kelengkapan peralatan di sekolah untuk kepentingan pembelajaran anak-anak kami dan sebagainya, semuanya telah terabai.

Pentadbir sekolah juga terlalu mementingkan keceriaan bangunan dan kawasan sekolah sehingga memaksa dan memeras tenaga guru dan pekerja bawahan untuk menceriakan kawasan dan bangunan demi mendapat anugerah cemerlang dalam pertandingan keceriaan sekolah di peringkat Daerah dan Jabatan. Ini menyebabkan emosi guru terganggu dan guru merasa tertekan dengan arahan-arahan untuk melakukan kerja-kerja di luar tugas guru seperti itu, tambahan pula guru mesti mengeluarkan kos dan perbelanjaan sendiri untuk menyediakan peralatan bagi menceriakan sekolah.

MAKANAN KANTIN

Makanan yang disediakan kepada para guru di kantin sekolah amat tidak menyelerakan dan menjemukan. Ini menyebabkan ramai para guru tidak makan di kantin, sebaliknya membawa bekalan sendiri dari rumah atau membelinya di tengah jalan untuk dibawa ke sekolah. Ini kerana pengambilan tender yang tidak ada pengalaman dalam menyediakan makanan kepada pelanggan yang dilakukan oleh pihak pentadbir sekolah.

SISTEM PBS

Sistem PBS cukup memeningkan dan memenatkan para guru. Antara perkara yang menimbulkan masalah ialah penyediaan bahan bukti (evidens) atau instrumens bagi ujian PBS yang ingin disediakan untuk para pelajar yang terlalu banyak. Bayangkan jika satu subjek ada 30 tajuk, setiap satu tajuk mesti ada 6 evidens untuk 6 band, bermakna 36 helai kertas digunakan untuk kesemua 6 band bagi setiap tajuk. 30 tajuk bermakna 1,080 helai kertas diperlukan bagi setiap orang pelajar. Jika di dalam sebuah kelas ada 40 pelajar, bermakna setiap kelas memerlukan 43,200 helai kertas diperlukan. Jika ada dua kelas atau tiga kelas bagi setiap tingkatan, maka 43,200 x 2 atau x 3, fikirkanlah sendiri berapa kos kertas yang diperlukan oleh pihak sekolah bagi perlaksanaan PBS. Kos ini tidak dinyatakan dalam kursus PBS sumbernya perlu diambil dari mana, ia terpulang pada pihak sekolah untuk memikirkannya.

Dalam pengajaran guru, masalah juga timbul antara mahu “mentaati” Lembaga Peperiksaan ataukah mahu “mentaati” Kementerian Pelajaran. PBS diselia dan diurustadbir oleh Lembaga Peperiksaan yang inginkan penilaian setiap band berdasarkan eviden yang telah dibuat, mesti dikey-in setiap bulan mengikut tajuk. Ini bermakna kebanyakan waktu P&P guru digunakan untuk menjalankan ujian PBS ke atas setiap pelajar dan bagi tujuan dimasukkan nilai band dalam laman web PBS setiap bulan berdasarkan ujian dan eviden yang disediakan, manakala Kementerian Pelajaran mula mahukan tajuk dan sukatan dihabiskan dalam tempoh yang tertentu. Ini menimbulkan “pertelagahan” antara mahu mentaati kemahuan Lembaga Peperiksaan ataukah mahu mentaati kemahuan Kementerian Pelajaran. Dengan kata mudah, jika guru menjalankan ujian PBS semasa P&P, sukatan dan isi pelajaran tidak dapat dihabiskan dan diajar dengan sempurna, jika guru menjalankan P&P seperti biasa, ujian PBS tidak dapat dijalankan kerana masa 40 minit waktu mengajar telah digunakan untuk menjalankan P&P.

SISTEM PENILAIAN PENCAPAIAN BARU

Selain itu, pelajar tidak lagi dinilai dengan kedudukan dan nombor dalam kelas atau tingkatan tetapi dinilai dalam ukuran band, iaitu band 1 hingga band 6. Ini memberi masalah kepada para ibu bapa untuk mengetahui setiap prestasi, kebolehan dan pencapaian dalam setiap mata pelajaran yang dipelajari oleh anak mereka. Timbul masalah juga pelajar di sekolah pedalaman dengan sekolah berasrama penuh apa bezanya jika kesemua mereka mendapat band 6? Tiada penilaian dalam bentuk gred, peratus dan agregat seperti sistem lama dahulu. Bagaimana pula dengan ukuran kelayakan untuk kemasukan ke sekolah berasrama penuh atau ke MRSM atau lain-lain yang sekolah yang menjadi rebutan para pelajar?

Ini hanyalah sebahagian masalah dan rungutan para guru yang bertugas di sekolah-sekolah Kementerian Pelajaran buat masa ini yang sempat saya tulis di ruangan ini. Sebenarnya banyak lagi rungutan yang tidak terkata seperti kebajikan para guru dan pelajar, masalah kemudahan dan infrastruktur sekolah yang juga diabaikan oleh pihak berwajib dan amat menyedihkan dan mengalirkan air mata bagi sesiapa yang memerhati dan memikirkannya. Mudah-mudahan luahan hati ini memberi pengajaran kepada kita akan tanggungjawab yang mesti dilaksanakan oleh sesiapa yang memegang amanah dan tanggungjawab."

UMNO Baru Tahu Tian Chua Makan Babi

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Kesian. Masih dalam mode: 'LEMBU'

Makan babi punya pasal, Tian Chua jadi haramjadah, jadi biadap, jadi pelaq. Kah kah kah!!

Si Cina nama Tian Chua ini, bukan setakat babi dia makan, anak babi dgn ibu babi sekali pun Tian Chua telan. Soi Lek makan babi,.Yen Yen makan babi. Hak makan babi ini telah termaktub.

Bab babi UMNO nampak.

Tapi tak pernah pulak ada naik banner bertulis, 

ANAK MAHAFIRAUN HARAMJADAH, TAUKE TODI SAN MIGUEL!'

ANAK MAHAFIRAUN BIADAP! LU PELAQ!

Babi dalam perut Tian Chua nampak, San Miguel bertong-tong atas meja boleh buat bodo.

Bawak-bawaklah diri keluar dari feedlot.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Mat Nuar & The Gang

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Gambar ini dicedok dari Facebook. Ianya telah berkeliaran di Facebook sejak minggu lepas.

Aku rasa gambar ini dirakam selepas membedal  di kenduri kahwin/rumah terbuka Hari Raya. Di ketika ini Saiful BauKari mungkin belum wujud dan Azizan si drebar mungkin tengah menganggur selepas SPM.

Siapa sangka, budak kurus lonjong itu telah jadi Ahli Parlimen dan siapa sangka Wan Azizah akan jadi presiden sebuah parti yg besar.

Siapa juga tak akan menyangka Mat Nuar akan keluar masuk penjara, kena tinju, kena ISA dan macam-macam lagilah.

Pasti jugak tak ramai makhluk akan budget Mat Nuar akan buat come-back dan tibai Mahafiraun.

Semoga Mat Nuar akan jadi PM dan permintaan rakyat amatlah banyak, terutamanya "Tooooolonglah tunjukkan gambar bapak Mahafiraun!"

Kah kah kah kah kah kah kah kah!!!!!


Terbaek Dari Facebook: Ubat Ketat

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Macam haramjadas. Memang haramjadas.


Screenshot di atas ialah posting di FB oleh seorang penjual ubat ketat sendat. Ada saja postingnya tentang mengemut, mengisap, memacak, menonggeng dan segala macam pala bana tentang lendir yang sedap-sedap.

Yang buat kerja ini seorang pompuan. Nampak gayanya dia  telah memfaraid dan mewakafkan dirinya untuk menjaja ubat ketat.

Bermasalah betina ini. Aku rasa message yg dia dapat itu, dibuatnya sendiri. kah kah kah kah

Itu semua marketing. Semua boleh bikin. Kah kah kah!!!

Entah-entah dia sendiri pun dah tak laku.

Entah-entah dia sendiri pun tak ada orang hingin nak naik atas perutnya. Kah kah kah kah kah kah kah!!!!!

Friday, March 15, 2013

Mahafiraun Lagi Mau Tanya?

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Di artikel freemalaysiatoday, Mahafiraun telah bertanya, dari mana Kiram dapat duit beli senapang dan peluru?

Ini jawabnya, Si Kiram ada projek baeeek punyo, namanya Projek K1RAM;


Sekurang-kurangnya Si Kiram anak-beranak tak jual todi San Miguel kan? Kah kah kah!!!

Si Kiram tak guna kabel utk mendapat kontrek jual minyak petrol kpd kapal terbang Filipina kan? dan juga anak Si Kiram pandai meniaga kapal dagang kan?

Pandai meniaga dan tidak bengkrap bodo macam anak Mahafiraun. kah kah kah!!

Itu la, jangan banyak bertanya. Pergi lah bersandar kat tiang seri masjid, kot-kot boleh repair tulang belakang yg dah herot. Kah kah kah kah..

Terbaek Dari Facebook: Ahmad Deedat

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Thursday, March 14, 2013

Bom Ikan Paling Mahal Dalam Dunia

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Apa yg dia bom di Lahat Datu, idak le kita tau. Bedentum bedentam le bunyinya weh!

Entah kena gunung, entah masuk semak, entah masuk belukar dan mungkin bom terojon dalam laut  gamaknya. Jenuh kita makan ikan.

Ater, apa pasei roper banyak benor lagi lanun Sulu? Kah kah kah kah

Yg sebijik gambor diatas jetnya idak kena curi, boleh le terobang.

Kalo kena curi juga, buat roper yg di Kuala Kangsor itu.

Ini dia gambornya.
Marilah melawat Kuala Kangsor!
Gambor dicedok dari blog http://shuhadajaafar.blogspot.com

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Biskut Cicah Termahal Dalam Dunia

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Biskut cicah air masin

Inilah biskut cicah termahal dalam dunia. Harga berbilion sebijik.

Dikilang dan dibungkus di Perancis di bawah jenama Scorpene. Malaysia beli dah lupus tarikh, telah lemau dan masuk angin.

Sampai bila nak direndam dalam air masin pun tak tau la.

Hampas pes satu haram tak guna.

Santau Paling Mujarab Di Dalam Dunia

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Ilmu kebal paling mujarab ialah 'ilmu jangan cari pasal'. Bukan bergelen-gelen air jampi dan berselirat segala bagai tangkal azimat di pinggang, tengkuk dan celah kangkang.

Santau paling mujarab dalam dunia ialah senjata nuklear. Sebab itu tak seekor pun perdana menteri Israel kena santau bomoh handalan Melayu/Indon, sebab mereka ialah bapak kepada segala bapak semua tauke santau.

Jadi, aku membaca dengan perasaan cukup tak seronok sebuah artikel dari blogger C++ berkenaan penggunaan ilmu kebal dalam ATM.

Secara sinis, artikel tersebut memberitahu betapa kelengkapan kita terkebelakang hatta nak melawan lanun Sulu sekalipun.

Kita ada Scopene bilion ringgit, tapi buat rendam. Kita ada segala macam teropong skodeng canggih manggih. Walhal benda ini bukan boleh halau lanun Sulu pun, cuma bahan gelak.

Inilah jadinya bila karipap sebijik harganya 5 kupang, tapi dibeli dgn duit kerajaan dengan harga 5 ringgit sebijik.

Palatnya, karipap bukan dimakan pun, buat buang masuk longkang.

Kalau lanun Temasik naik, apa daya ikhtiar kita? Kalau macam ini gayanya, mintak simpang.


Mat Nuar Bakal Ke Dalam Lagi

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Artikel ini dicedok dari portal Malaysia Chronicle.

Ianya melaporkan kebimbangan Rafizi Ramli diatas kebarangkalian yg tidak boleh ditolak itu memandangkan akhir-akhir ini pihak berkuasa semakin aktif dalam kempennya memburuk-burukkan Mat Nuar.

Juga kempen itu dilihat seperti cuba menonjolkan bahawa Mat Nuar lah barua Sulu.

Kalau Mat Nuar ke dalam, habis la.. habis la.. habis the best part of the movement.

Berikut adalah sebahagian dari perenggan2 artikel tersebut. Untuk membaca keseluruhan artikel, klik [DI SINI]


Lahad Datu conspiracy: Anwar may be arrested soon - Rafizi warns

Written by  Wong Choon Mei, Malaysia Chronicle
There is mounting fear that Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim might be arrested soon, with Prime Minister Najib Razak and the ruling Umno party charging him for allegedly masterminding the Lahad Datu intrusion.
Members of Anwar's PKR party fear the worst may happen, based on information received from high-level sources as well as from reading a recent chain of "orchestrated" events they worry are aimed to create hate towards the 64-year-old leader.
A resurgent Anwar is widely expected to form and lead the next federal government, and if he is 'taken down', the Opposition's advance could well be stymied.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Kenapa Tidak Koyak-koyakkan Muka Mahafiraun?

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He told the Inquirer that he had spoken with a lot of evacuees and the stories were the same:  Malaysian soldiers and policemen were not making any distinction between illegal immigrants and those issued MyKad cards.
.............................................................
“These documents were allegedly torn down before their eyes. Men were told to run and were shot if they did. Those who refused were beaten black and blue. Filipinos inside the jail were executed,” it quoted him as saying evacuees told him.
...............................................................

Perenggan-perenggan di atas adalah sebahagian dari artikel yg diterbitkan di freemalaysiatoday.

Amat menakutkan sekiranya laporan itu benar.

Bak kata Gandhi (betul ke?), 'An eye for an eye and the world will go blind.'' 
Aku korek mata kau, kau akan korek mata aku pulak. Lama-lama butalah dunia ini.

Yang jadi mangsa ialah Sabah, pribumi Sabah, anggota keselamatan M'sia, gerila Sulu dan puak pendatang.

Sedangkan si punca, sedap duduk mengekek-ngekek menonton komedi Tamil di Astro kepunyaan rakan karibnya.

Mahafiraunlah yg buat punca. Kalau Mahafiraun tak buat punca, Sabah akan aman sentosa dari dulu sehinggalah Mahafiraun mati dan mereput dimakan ulat.

Aman dan sentosa, sehinggalah yg tinggal dari mayat Mahafiraun itu cuma zarah-zarah dari tulang sulbinya.

Yang padannya, koyak-koyakkan muka Mahafiraun.


Friday, March 8, 2013

Saiful BauKari Masih Dara, Bergetah & Melekit-lekit

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Kah kah kah kah!

"Tak lah, pasal apa pulak Mahafiraun nak sponsor saya"

Syukur bapak Saiful BauKari telah sedar. Sedar bahawa dalam agama kita, dalam pendakwaan kes-kes melibatkan seks, 4 saksi diperlukan. Saksi itu pula mestilah dari kalangan orang baik-baik.

Syukur, bapak Saiful BauKari telah sedar tabiat menahan berak selama 2 hari amat membahayakan kesihatan.

Syukur, dia telah sedar jijiknya tabiat melambat-lambatkan waktu basuh berak kah kah kah!!!

Syukur, dia juga telah tahu macam mana rupanya lubang taik dirodok dgn 'yahanu' dan lubang taik dirodok dgn beg plastik. Huarghhhh huargghhh huargh!!!!

Sebuah lagu nasyid untuk ingat-ingatan.


Selimut Putih
Lirik oleh Orkes Nur el Soraya

Bila Izrail datang memanggil 
Jasad terbujur di pembaringan
Seluruh tubuh akan menggigil 
Terbujur badan dan kedinginan
Tak ada lagi gunanya harta 
Kawan karib sanak saudara 
Jikalau ada amal di dunia 
Itulah hanya pembela diri

Janganlah mahu dikenang-kenang 
Engkau digelar manusia agung
Sedarlah diri tahu diuntung 
Sebelum masa 
lkerenda diusung
Datang masanya insaflah diri
Selimut putih pembalut badan
Tinggal semua yang dikasihi 
Berbaktilah hidup sepanjang zaman

Jangan Berundur Najib!

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Jangan sesekali berundur!

Rebut peluang ini untuk memenuhi hajat Tunku.

Perjuangan ini bersisa sikit sahaja lagi.

Akan harum nama Najib sekiranya beliau tidak mendengar kata Mahafiraun. Mahafiraun mahukan Wak Sembab menggantikan Najib sebelum PRU. Mahafiraun takut kepada suami Najib, tapi tidak pada isteri Wak Sembab. Mahafiraun fikir dia boleh gigit Wak Sembab, tapi tidak suami Najib.

Lagi harum nama Najib jika PRU13 ini Mahafiraun/UMNO bungkus kain baju..

Jgn sesekali undur Najib, buatlah banyak-banyak lagi benda merepek, mari sama-sama menumbangkan Mahafiraun.

Jika kau perlu gugur Najib, bawaklah Mahafiraun bersama kroni dan anak-beranaknya bersama botol-botol San Miguel mereka!

Mahafiraun [klik disini] semakin cuba main ngelat. Jangan bagi chan.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

PRU13 Pada 28 Jun 2013, Tarikh Paling Lewat

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Bagi yg fasih berbahasa orang putes, please click HERE to go to Loyarburok.com


Di bawah ini diperturunkan sedikit sebanyak terjemahan setermampu ilmu aku, daripada artikel di Loyarburok.com itu. 

1. Sehabis-habis lewat, sehabis-habis penakot, kecut dan takde telur, itulah tarikhnya. 28 Jun 2013.

Sebab, penggal lepas parlimen mula bersidang pada 28 Apr 2008. Maju ke depan 5 tahun, maknanya pada 28 Apr 2013, parlimen bubar automatik. Sekiranya Najib nak kasi lewat lagi, dia berhak tunda lagi 60 hari. Maknanya, jatuh la ke tanggal 28 Jun 2013..... jeng jeng.. 

2. SPR barua pun dah pening sebenarnya. Sebab, dia gatal pukul canang bahawa parlimen dan DUN akan buat serentak di Satu Malaya ini.Mana tak pening, DUN Nogori Sembilan auto bubar pada 26 Mac 2013. Kah kah kah... pening SPR, padan muka. Punya la nak gosok...

Sebenarnya aku pun pening baca artikel tu, sapa-sapa tak faham pergi baca sendiri di loyarburok.com.

Kalau tak faham jugak? kah kah kah

Sama-sama lah kita buat bodo tunggu tarikh, sampai harinya kita undi PR!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Show Me The Oil, Kiram

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We will definately help you. But, show me the oil first, Kiram.

Setelah bala tenteranya dihenyak secukup rasa, Kiram tidak akan berfikir dua kali untuk menjaja 'lubang Saiful BauKarinya' kepada PBB, AmerikaSyarikat dan Britain.

Jelas disini, Sabah ialah negeri yg kaya-raya dengan hasil bumi dan lanskap yg indah, menarik ribuan pelancung saban tahun. Semua ini menjanjikan fulus. Yg menjadikan Sabah mundur ialah UMNO yg tak reti mentadbir dan para pemimpinnya yg korup. 

Dengan pengeluaran minyak Sabah yg mengatasi keseluruhan Filipina, sudah kompom menitik air liur dan air lendir Kiram.

Kompom Kiram mengigau ingin menjadi seperti Raja Saudi yg hidup bermewah-mewah kerja tak tau satu apa, setiap Jumaat didoakan, sembahyang pakai stokin, duduk dalam istana, dapat 'cret' dgn artis dan macam2 keistimewaan. Kiram pun mau jadi seperti Raja Saudi.

Jgnkan Kiram, Karim pun mau. Korom pun mau. 

Zol Kolom pun boleh tiba-tiba mengaku keturunan raja Sulu.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Now Every Soldier Can Fly

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Click HERE to read more.

Seekor Yahudi Menyanyi Lagu Keamanan

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Lagu nyanyian Yahudi berhidung bengkok ini diperkenalkan kepada aku semasa aku belajar dulu.

Lagu ini dijadikan kerja kelas, cari lirik, fahamkan lirik dan terangkan pemahaman lirik itu.

Lirik lagunya indah, bicara tentang keamanan. Tapi, Yahudi tahukah keamanan? Serupa macam Mahafiraun berdentam-dentum bercakap pasal Melayu.




Semoga keamanan akan cepat dikembalikan di Sabah.

Semoga China Doll dapat buat kerja tanpa gangguan.

Semoga segala Pakistan, Bangla, Nigeria, Myanmar, Nepal dan Filipina yg dapat I.C biru pemberian Mahafiraun dapat hidup aman makmur maju jaya bersama penduduk ori Sabah. 

Ramai Bela Polong di Ijok

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Sumpah saya tak makan dgn tangan kiri!

Aku tak tau la apa yg orang dalam gambar di atas ini makan setiap hari.

Bebal melampau-lampau.

Sekarang ini telah jelas bahawa di Ijok dan Bestari Jaya,jumlah pengundi lebih ramai dari penduduk setempat. Tak masuk akal.

Kalau jumlah pengundi bertambah dgn drastik, kita boleh kata orang di Ijok dan Bestari Jaya kuat 'projek' dan 'cret' kat dalam, kan?

Tapi kalau dah terlebih dari jumlah penduduk setempat, maknanya ramai benar polong disana. Kah kah kah!!!

Di bawah ini keratan dari Keadilan Daily.

Ijok & Bestari Jaya ada lebih ramai pengundi berbanding penduduk

KUALA LUMPUR 4 MAC: Projek Pendemokrasian Selangor mendapati ada kawasan Dewan Undangan Negeri (DUN) mempunyai jumlah pengundi lebih ramai dari penduduk. [artikel penuh]

Monday, March 4, 2013

Si Kitol Dan Mendeliar Abad Ini

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Si Kitol dan Mendeliar abad ini tidak lagi memamah sireh.

Mereka tidak lagi memakai serban berbelit-belit atas kepala.

Kulit mereka juga tidak gelap seperti kulit keturunan Mahafiraun dan kerandut mereka hanya berani mengembang dengan anak sebangsa.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Maradona, Then and Now

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Maradona made his international debut for Argentina 36 years ago this week. Then everything went crazy.

By Brian Phillips on February 25, 2013

Diego Maradona made his international debut for Argentina in a friendly against Hungary on February 27, 1977, 36 years ago this week. He was 16 and already famous; he'd played in his first professional match, for Argentinos Juniors, as a 15-year-old the previous October, and scored his first professional goal less than a month after that. In a soccer-mad country, you don't score a top-flight goal as a teenager without everyone learning your name. But the truth is that he'd been locally famous for a long time. There's tantalizing video of the child Maradona practicing tricks, and what's impressive here is not so much the skill on display as the aura of total calm, even serenity, that this kid, who's maybe 11, possesses around a soccer ball. You watch other football-prodigy videos and it looks like the little circus-genius is about to give himself a heart attack; Maradona heads the ball up and seems to be waiting for it to come back down again, I mean waiting patiently, like someone who trusts that a loved one will always come home. Mostly he's just still, and you can see how the wise heads in Villa Fiorito, the shantytown1 outside Buenos Aires where he grew up, would have spotted the little mestizo kid, how word would have spread. It's different with this one. By the time he was 12 he was the halftime entertainment at Argentinos Juniors, where he was a ball boy. He'd do juggling exhibitions for the crowd, play keepie uppie with himself, a human YouTube channel already. You get the feeling he was just happy to be near a ball.

So that first match with Argentina wasn't really the beginning of anything, but it was a mile marker: Welcome to full international. Maradona came on for Leopoldo Luque in the 62nd minute at the Bombonera. He doesn't seem to have done much, though the match was more or less over by the time he entered. All the goals in Argentina's 5-1 win — a brace for Luque, a hat trick for Daniel Bertoni, a late consolation strike for Hungary's Sandor Zombori — had already been scored.2

Today the most striking thing about that game is how few details it seems to have left behind; late-'70s Latin America had yet to flip the "archive everything" switch.3 Spanish Wikipedia has a photo of Maradona that was apparently taken at the game. There's also a silent, heavily watermarked black-and-white video that you can find online; it's tagged "Debut de Maradona en la Selección Argentina" and features film-damaged footage of '70s-era Argentina playing against a team that could just about plausibly be Hungary, with no time or score given. The camera occasionally breaks away in the middle of a pass to show a sudden super-close-up of some guy photographing something — the match? — with a Nikon camera; these shots are the most coherent part of the film. I'm sure someone can tell me whether the skinny kid wearing the no. 16 shirt — Maradona's squad number with Argentinos Juniors at the time — who walks across the center circle at the 3:40 mark is definitely Maradona. I've been trying to JFK this out for an hour and I have no idea.

You don't have to see the match, though, to know what Maradona represented in 1977. He was pure, radiant promise. It's hard to believe this now, but Argentina had never won a World Cup, had rarely even contended for one. But this kid … there wasn't really a precedent for him. With his delicate face, his stumpy arms, his miniature barrel chest, and that astronaut's helmet of curls, he looked like a cross between Eva Perón and a Wurlitzer jukebox. He looked an elf with a Soloflex. But he moved like no one before or since. Watching Maradona run is one of the signal experiences in the history of spectator sports, so I want to try to do this justice: give him the ball, and the pitch would move to help him. I am absolutely convinced that he caused changes to take place in the surrounding terrain at a topographic level. I mean, suddenly the defenders were running uphill. Sections of the field reassembled themselves. Some kind of deep-earth conveyor belt hauled him forward and flung everyone else off-balance. You see this in some of his early goals with Argentinos Juniors; you can read it in the famous picture of six Belgians trying to mark him in the 1982 World Cup. He hadn't fully arrived as a player in his mid-teens, obviously, but there were glimpses. Everyone else on the pitch looked like they were working while he played.

There was a national clamor when he was passed over for the 1978 World Cup.4 According to a rumor that is probably not worth repeating, he wasn't selected because the junta preferred Norberto Alonso; juntas aren't known for their taste. In 1979, Maradona led Argentina to the World Youth Championship, taking down the Soviet Union 3-1 in the final. He was named the best player of the tournament. To be a fan in Buenos Aires at that point must have been like owning the sun. Argentina was the best soccer country in the world and its most talented player still hadn't turned 20. The future was blinding, Maradona was the future, and Maradona was a kid playing with a ball.

Skip ahead to now: a decade and a half after the end of the future Maradona once represented. A couple of weeks ago, his ex-girlfriend, Veronica Ojeda, gave birth to a baby boy, Maradona's fifth child depending on which court documents you download, and his second son named Diego. The first Diego Jr. was born in Naples in 1986; Maradona didn't admit paternity until 2004 despite having been legally declared the father by Italian authorities in 1993. With regard to that sequence, cue Wikipedia: "Diego Jr. met Maradona for the first time in May 2003 after tricking his way onto a golf course in Italy where Maradona was playing."5 The second Diego Jr., who is two weeks old, was born while his father was in Dubai, where he sort of lives now, despite having been sacked as the manager of Al-Wasl FC, where he was paid $4.6 million a year and given a private jet, in July 2012. His title in Dubai is now "honorary sports ambassador." There are a lot of duties involved with being an honorary sports ambassador, like standing near Caroline Wozniacki, which is what he was doing last week, when the Daily Mail reported that "he will only be able to see his new son, Diego Fernando, when his commercial obligations finish in June." (Other stories broken wide-open by the Mail's intrepid correspondent: Maradona "couldn't keep his hands off" the American player Bethanie Mattek-Sands, "who appeared delighted at the attention.") He is also repping a Kerala jewelry chain that wants to sell gold to soccer fans. In the meantime, your various tabloid Stradivarii are wailing that he abandoned Ojeda in order to go dancing "with the famous Indian TV celebrity Ranjini Haridas," which who knows.

In the further meantime, Italian authorities have escalated their tax-fraud campaign against him; he allegedly owes the Italian government something like $50 million in unpaid taxes from his time playing at Napoli; the Italian government confiscated both the Rolexes he was wearing when he landed in Naples in 2006, when he was wearing two Rolexes. This month he filmed a video in Dubai blaming other people for his tax problems. Other people are often to blame. He's maybe gained a couple of pounds since his gastric-bypass surgery in 2005, which once gave birth to the headline "Maradona's gastric bypass inspires obese Colombians" ("overweight Colombians are flocking to doctors for the same procedure — and want the government to pay for it"), but he no longer looks like a gender-curious manatee, so that's something. He is not, per recent reports, having a cocaine-induced heart attack, or chilling with Fidel, or running over a cameraman,6 or being the center of a deranged Englishman's machete-decapitation plot, or chilling with Chavez, or hiding behind a Mercedes while shooting at journalists with an air rifle, or picking Ariel Garce over Javier Zanetti to play in the 2010 World Cup because he saw Garce's face in a dream, or chilling with Fidel and Chavez at the same time (efficiency), or hurling gay slurs at Pele, or practicing any of the other hobbies he's chosen in his retirement years. He is still the center of his own religion, but it's been a while since he went after anyone else's pope.

So say that the two parts of this piece are the first and third in a three-panel series. What goes in the middle slot? What can you put in the center of the triptych to make the two extremes cohere? The answer is easy: It's Maradona's career. It's the Hand of God, the Napoli scudetti, the '86 World Cup, the greatest goal ever scored, the legend that seems to exist simultaneously as the apex of, and in a fog of complete ignorance regarding, irony. It's the whole machinery of soccer. It's more or less just life, if you're as good at something as Maradona was at soccer and as many people care about the thing you're good at.

But say you didn't know about any of that. All you have is panels one and three. You have to imagine the center. What could you make of a mechanism that took the young Maradona in at one end and rolled the old Maradona8 out at the other? What would its characteristics be? And does that tell you anything about the nature of global soccer?

Argentina's coach Diego Maradona

I genuinely don't know, but the question tugs a little at the back of my mind every time he's in the news for doing something insane. He was that kid 36 years ago. Now he's an aging global icon who is unable to do either of the two things aging global icons want to do — relive or escape his own past. He seems bewildered these days, more than anything; for all his venality and bogus machismo, he seems hurt. As if he headed up the ball one day and still can't understand why it doesn't come back down.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Ryan Giggs reaches a thousand games

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Source: guardian

Ryan Giggs

The tearaway teen who gave defenders 'twisted blood' has become Old Trafford's elder statesman but he's still some player

It began on a lifeless pitch one spring afternoon back in the days when Liverpool were still on their perch, the "keep off the grass" signs were in one language, not the six there are now, and the entire Manchester United team, including substitutes, was made up of players from Britain and Ireland. It was the "Madchester" era, even if Do The Bartman was No1, and, if anyone wants evidence of what a different place Old Trafford was back then, just look at the attendance, 45,656, for a game that left Alex Ferguson's team eight without a win, level on points with Wimbledon, almost a quarter of a century since their last championship.

By his own admission there was not a great deal to get worked up about in Ryan Giggs's first senior appearance back in March 1991, coinciding with a United performance the Observer described the following day as "depleted, disjointed, shapeless". They lost 2-0 against 12th-placed Everton, falling 17 points behind Arsenal at the top of Division One. "Nor was it an auspicious entry from Giggs," the newspaper continues. "He was pushed off the bench when [Denis] Irwin left and, unsurprisingly, failed to find his feet until well into the second half."

Giggs, in fairness, has never tried to butter up the occasion too much himself. His abiding memory after replacing the injured Irwin, 35 minutes in, is Dave Watson scything through him with a challenge that split open his knee and felt, to the 17-year-old recipient, like a coded welcome to the big time. That apart, Giggs remembers Ferguson shouting at everyone in the dressing room. "The gaffer said we were second to the ball and lacked imagination. And he did so pretty forcibly. I can only say he was spot on. We were terrible. It should have been a celebration but it felt more like a wake."

The 22nd anniversary is on Saturday when, courtesy of one of the nice little twists that have accompanied his career (not least overtaking Sir Bobby Charlton's appearance record on the night United won the Champions League in Moscow), Giggs should mark the occasion by clocking up his 1,000th game. Sixty-four were for Wales, four with the Great Britain Olympics team and the other 932 for the club that know enough about Giggs by now to realise he will not want any fussy pre-match presentations before the home game against Norwich City. A polite smile, maybe a wave to the crowd and that will probably be enough when his real focus is the three points on offer. Very soon, one suspects, the swagmen on Sir Matt Busby Way will have to update their "Giggsy 12 Gerrard 0" T-shirts paying homage to his unprecedented collection of title wins.

Eventually, the press release from Old Trafford will carry tributes rather than news but, for now, the announcement that he has extended his contract has become an annual fixture in the football calendar around this stage of the season (10 February last year) and there is no surprise that he is carrying on. As Gary Neville said earlier in the week: "He's been influencing matches since he was 17 and he's still contributing now. I'd be absolutely stunned if he didn't play for another season."

The next deal will take Giggs beyond 40 and, to put it into context, if George Best had had the same kind of longevity he would have played for Ron Atkinson in the 1985 FA Cup final and, best of all, still been at the club when Ferguson took over the following year. Phil Jones was nine when Giggs had his testimonial match against Celtic in 2001 and not even born when he made his debut. David de Gea, Danny Welbeck and Rafael da Silva were all in nappies, aged between three to eight months. Giggs's hair, once raven, now has flecks of grey above the ears and is thinning on the crown. For United there have been 147 different team-mates; for Wales 84. Just don't even try to tot up the number of opponents he has left behind him.

"We played them two days before Christmas in 2000," the former Ipswich Town striker James Scowcroft remembers. "We were fifth in the league but it was the only time in my professional career I've played a match that has felt like schools football because one side was so much better than the other. They beat us 2-0, God knows how it wasn't more, and Giggs was absolutely devastating.

"He was playing up front with [Ole Gunnar] Solskjaer and every time the ball came into Giggs's feet he'd flick it between his legs then run round the other side of the defender with that blistering pace. I can remember at half-time our assistant manager, Dale Roberts, going mad at the centre-halves: 'Any fucking chance you can get tighter on Giggs?' and Mark Venus shouting back: 'You try getting fucking near him.' We were in shock."

"Twisted blood," Ferguson put it in the quote that now adorns the back cover of Giggs's autobiography. Gary Pallister was the first to use that line, going back to their days together on the training pitches of The Cliff. Viv Anderson will vouch for it, too, after the first time Giggs, at 14 and known then as Ryan Wilson, was pushed into a senior practice match. Ferguson loves this story: "Viv was shouting: 'You can't play him, he's far too small.' Ryan gets the ball and boom-boom-boom he's round three of them. Viv can hardly breathe, he's chasing after him and he's going: 'Who the hell is that?'" Apocryphal or not, there is a great story about George Graham apparently inquiring of Ferguson some time in the mid-1990s: "Whatever happened to that Ryan Wilson you used to rave about?"

Neville believes his former team-mate will never be emulated – "there won't be another player like him ever again" – and for a long time Ferguson would happily tell anyone who cared to listen that Giggs should get a knighthood, emboldened enough to say it should happen while he was still playing and "how I would love to adorn my team-sheet with the words 'Sir Ryan Giggs'."

Sadly for him, what has happened since means the idea should probably be shelved and, though it would be nice to gloss over it, there is no point pretending the tabloid scrutiny on Giggs's private life has not caused substantial damage to his public reputation. At one point masked men attacked the photographers' cars outside Giggs's house. Ned Kelly, who ran United's security for over a decade, offers his own slant on Giggs in his 2003 book, Manchester United – The Untold Story. Giggs, he says, "is under the (unsolicited) protection of the 'Salford mob' and affiliated gangs in Manchester. He is quite simply untouchable and viewed as the original local-boy-done-good."

Neville remembers that boy at 14 as "ridiculously special, an incredible player, off another planet" to the point "you were almost embarrassed to turn up at the training ground because you'd think: 'Are they all like him?'" Now he looks at him with a mix of awe and near disbelief. "To think, he came into the team as a flying left-winger and he's now playing as a holding midfielder. He's still got that little bit of pace. But think about what he's doing now, that adaptation in him ... he's now a passer."

As for Ferguson, the Giggs we see now, oozing sophistication and football intelligence, ranks as "the most precious, skill-based player I've ever had". There are three footballers who can make Ferguson's eyes sparkle just by mentioning their names. One is Cristiano Ronaldo, another Eric Cantona. The third is the serial champion who, quietly and diligently behind the scenes, has combined being the doyen of United's dressing room with being the first footballer to reach the mandatory coaching qualification for Premier League and Champions League managers, the elite-standard Uefa Pro Licence level, while still playing.

It has taken Giggs six years in total. Even getting his 'A' and 'B' badges is an example of dedication given the number of hours it takes, never mind for someone already in the business of trying to win football matches. Not too many people recognise Giggs as a realistic contender to manage United whenever Ferguson retires. It should not be discounted.

Ryan Giggs was never going to be the 'new George Best' at Manchester United

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Source: www.telegraph.co.uk

Fresh faced: A young Giggs poses alongside Eric Cantona in 1994

After Ryan Giggs scored against Everton in January, to record the unique distinction of having found the net in every Premier League season, a Manchester United fan rang one of the radio phone-ins with an incredible story.

He had been taken by his dad as a six-year-old to his first game at Old Trafford in 1991 and had seen Giggs score his first goal for Manchester United. That very afternoon, 22 years later, he had taken his own young son along to his first United game and he too had been witness to a Giggs goal. That is what you call longevity. 

In a game growing quicker, harder and sharper, in which the average length of time spent playing in the Premier League is shrinking, not elongating, Giggs’s generation-spanning, 1,000-match career is a pinnacle never likely to be matched, never mind surpassed. His is the most brutally Darwinian of professions: only the good survive, there is no sentiment in his continuing selection.

That he remains at the top, through the quiet insistence of his performance still forcing his way into the United first XI, astonishes even those who work closest to him.

“He is a fantastic human being,” says Sir Alex Ferguson. Ferguson has been astonished by the player’s physicality from the day he first saw him play as a 13-year-old, and likened him to a gazelle, flitting across the turf apparently in defiance of all known rules of gravity. The United manager could not stop eulogising the young player’s balance, pace and poise.

But Giggs’s achievement is not merely the result of extraordinary physique. Few players have worked as hard at maintaining their athleticism.

Renowned for his yoga sessions, for his embrace of alternative medical treatment like osteopathy and acupuncture, there is, too, a streak of asceticism about the way he prepares for games. He follows a diet which deliberately excludes things he likes to eat or drink. He has not touched chocolate or beer for years. Not because they are necessarily bad for him, but because he believes his body stays more alert if it is denied reward.

This is a man who, has spent his entire career fighting any hint of complacency. While some of his contemporaries seized all the opportunity of their position, he has long embraced ruthless self-denial. Well, in most things.

When he first emerged at United, feted as the new George Best, the club used the fallen Irishman as a sort of reverse role model. If you want to get on, do not do it like him was the implicit instruction.

But Giggs never showed any inclination to become the second Best. Largely because he already had an example in his personal life of those who squander their natural talent in the pursuit of hedonism. His father, Danny Wilson, was a gifted but wayward rugby player, who abandoned his young family.

As a teenager, Giggs sided with his mother in the bitter marital breakdown to the degree he even changed his surname from Wilson to her maiden name.

Like Bradley Wiggins, whose own wastrel father served as a template in his career of what not to do, Giggs was determined not to throw away his chance in the way his dad had. Every opening he would exploit.

He has been like that all his life. His ability to marry application to talent has come to define him. He was widely admired throughout the game for his utter dedication to his craft. So much so, for years it kept prying eyes off his extra-curricular activity. Because he would never be seen misbehaving outside a nightclub, it was assumed he never misbehaved. In his autobiography, Roy Keane complained bitterly that whereas he was castigated for every public misdemeanour, Giggs “gets away with murder”.

We found out, eventually, what Keane meant. But even when exposure came, Giggs’s Stakhanovite work ethic made him immune from wider derision. Unlike Chelsea's John Terry or Ashley Cole, he is not barracked by rival supporters for his personal weaknesses, despite the fact that they are far less morally defensible. Admiration for his application has long served as a shield.

And we are not wrong to admire. Giggs continues to astonish, playing as well as a central midfield schemer nearing his 40th birthday as he did as a flying teenage winger.

Still there is no sign of slow down, no sign of let up, no sign of giving himself the rest he has so long earned. When he turned 30, he decided he was not going to give anyone the opportunity to criticise him for letting his game drop due to his age. Nearly 10 years on, he is still at it. Ferguson said when Giggs emerged that he had “never seen anyone so determined to realise the genius within him”. The fact that 22 years on from his debut he still embodies that observation is what makes him truly remarkable.

I delivered young Giggs to City, only for United to snatch him

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Source: Daily Mail
Diamond: Dennis Schofield (right) found Ryan Giggs (left) and still coaches kids in Salford today

There is a line in Ryan Giggs's autobiography: 'The manager was a guy called Dennis Schofield, a great bloke, a real football man... Dennis was a milkman, but how he ever got his round done is a mystery. He couldn't pass any sort of game without stopping to watch.'

In the index, Schofield's surname is sandwiched between those of Peter Schmeichel and Paul Scholes.

While far from as famous, Schofield's influence on Giggs and the modern Manchester United is due recognition. There is always someone who first sees a magical natural talent and in Giggs's case it was a Swinton milkman who doubled as a Manchester City scout.

Stars of the future: Giggs with coach Eric Harrison (left) Nicky Butt, David Beckham, Gary Neville, Phil Neville, Paul Scholes and Terry Cooke in 1995

At 82, Schofield is still going strong. He remains president of Deans Youth Club, the team he persuaded an eight-year-old Giggs to join some 30 years ago.

Giggs has not forgotten this; he is the club's patron and opened their new facility. Amid Schofield's obvious pride in Giggs's development into a phenomenon of 1,000 games, however, is a whiff of regret that, in the beginning, the boy-wonder left-winger did not join Schofield's club, City.

How different Manchester football history might have been.

Schofield thinks that Giggs 'can play for as long as Stanley Matthews', but it is his memory of a small boy that counts for so much.

'I was a milkman then, and I worked for Man City as well,' Schofield recalled of the first sighting of Giggs.

'One day I saw these lads walking out of a local school with their boots. They were about eight, nine and I asked if they were going to play a game. 'I went along to watch and saw this boy on the left wing who was like a gazelle, dynamite. He was Ryan Wilson then, not long moved up to Swinton from Wales.

'I asked one of the teachers if his parents were at the game. They said his mother was. I went over and asked her: "Is that your lad on the left wing?" She said yes and I asked if he'd like to come to our club, Deans.

'I was thinking to myself: "I'm not missing out on this one."

'She agreed and I told them I'd pick Ryan up on the Thursday to go training. He joined in and right away everyone could see how good he was, that balance. His attitude was great. Everybody liked him.

'He asked if his brother Rhodri could come along and he did. Everybody liked him too. 'Ryan joined our nine-year-olds and he was brilliant. His control, his pace - remember that goal he scored at Tottenham all those years ago - that's what he had.' Schofield had had trials for Bolton and once played against John Charles in the British Army Cup final. He knew a talented Welshman.

As he became a scout he said that he could see 'a little bit of something in a boy that others might not. I can tell a player but I can also discard a player. Ryan was never going to be a discard.'

From Deans Youth Club, Schofield took Ryan Wilson to Manchester City. He had big hopes of City signing the young Giggs, even if in his book Giggs said that he always favoured United.

'For years we used to go to the Isle of Wight for a weekend tournament,' Schofield added.

'When we first took Ryan everybody asked: "Who's that?!" The next year we took him people actually left the games they were watching to come and see Ryan.

'That's a fact, that. Scholesy and the Neville brothers were there with a team from Oldham but nobody shone like Ryan. He was out of this world.

'At nine I had him down at City. They rolled out the red carpet for him, those comedians Little and Large, big City fans, they put down a red carpet for him too. For many years there was a photo on the wall at City of Ryan playing for them. They used to say that when he signs at 14, "We'll have a big do."

'I said to Ken Barnes (City's chief scout) at the time: 'On Ryan's 14th birthday make sure you are in his house because United are tapping him.'

He said that City had already spoken to Ryan's mum and dad and that 'it's sorted'. On the morning of Ryan's 14th birthday Alex Ferguson and his chief scout Joe Brown were in his house and signed him.

City's men were in their office. 'For that calibre of boy you need to be first, there, sitting on them. Ryan was a United fan but I was very disappointed with City. I left them as a result.'

Via Blackburn Rovers, with Brian Kidd, and a season at United, Schofield is back at City. He is a City man, understands the pull of club ties in Manchester and there was some weariness when he said: 'Ferguson's pinched another one, a boy of 12, 13 who's a really nice player.

'I recommended him to City but United got there first - you have to get there first, though the lad's from a United family.'

Even at his grand age, Schofield shares the competitive edge of Ferguson and the boy he parked his milk float to watch 30 years ago.

'I've stayed in touch with Ryan the whole time, he still comes down the club the odd time,' he said. 'I've watched him grow into a superstar.'

Ryan Giggs: The greatest player to ever wear our shirt

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by Darren Richman, follow him on Twitter


There have been better United players. Ronaldo unquestionably, a handful of others arguably. There have been more charismatic heroes, characters with edge and a kind of madness that our fans adore. Cantona, of course, but also the likes of Keane and Schmeichel. Just as the Pope is regarded as God’s representative on earth, these hardboiled figures obsessed with the notion of winning somehow seemed like their manager’s representative on turf. Scholes is more gifted, Solskjaer more loveable but when all is said and done (and the obese female must surely be engaging in vocal warm-ups at this point), I suspect Ryan Joseph Giggs will enter the canon as the greatest player ever to have pulled on a Manchester United shirt.

I have thought about Giggs a great deal in recent weeks. In the first part of the season I was convinced this would be his last as a result of a number of poor performances in the centre of the pitch. I feared his astonishing sequence of at least one league goal for every year as a professional (not just since the formation of the Premier League, however much Sky insist football was invented in August 1992) would be broken. Five minutes into the Everton game at Old Trafford I realised I needn’t have worried. I turned to my Dad and told him I felt sure his goal was coming today. It duly arrived, along with another on Saturday at QPR on appearance number 999. Not bad for a bloke born in the same year as Brendan Rodgers.

It’s incredible to think that on the day Giggs made his debut in 1991, a senior member of the squad like Ferdinand was just twelve years old whilst Phil Jones had not even been born. The longevity of the Welshman must astound even his teammates. He’s like a creature from Greek mythology – half man, half kit.

To put things into context, I was six at the time Giggs made his first appearance. I can only dimly recall an era pre Giggs; the man has been an almost constant presence in my life over the two decades or so since then. I was there last season on his 900th appearance when his injury time winner at Norwich looked to have struck a crucial blow in the race for the title, I was there a few weeks ago when his glorious 50 yard pass found van Persie at West Ham and United remained in the FA Cup. Countless title deciders and cup finals have marked his career and, on a variety of fortunate occasions, our lives have intersected briefly and I’ve been there to witness such events. It is sometimes said of great and charismatic orators that a single person in a crowd of thousands will feel as though the speaker is addressing them personally. Despite this, I remain convinced that Giggsy waved at me as he joined his teammates in a lap of honour at the end of the 2009 Carling Cup Final.

What’s strange about Giggs is that he’s not a particularly charismatic figure. When you’re young, footballers can seem larger than life but in the case of someone like Cantona the effect hardly diminishes with the passing of time. Giggs never had the feel of an icon though despite the immense hype at the start of his career. The comparisons to George Best were so frequent that the Northern Irishman felt compelled to comment: ‘One day they might even say that I was another Ryan Giggs.’ Best, along with Sir Bobby Charlton, used to turn up at the Cliff training ground in those early days just to watch the Cardiff lad run rings round his opponents.

It was often claimed that Ferguson sheltered his young starlet back then but I suspect Giggs himself was just as responsible for the lack of interviews. In spite of this, he was the Premiership’s first poster boy and his ability ensured this heartthrob would be around a tad longer than Lee Sharpe. There were magazine covers and celebrity girlfriends years before we’d even heard the name David Beckham. I recall an early interview in which the young Giggs seemed almost bemused by the multiple sacks full of Valentine’s cards on his doorstep. Girls with no interest in football had his poster on their wall. I owned the Ryan Giggs Soccer Skills video but, as is so often the case, it wasn’t as good as the book. Baddiel and Skinner’s Fantasy Football League showed a video of him picking his nose at a press conference and I was mocked at school. He felt like a part of my family, almost a part of myself. This was only exacerbated by my Mum leaving little notes in my lunchbox in which she referred to me as ‘Giggsy’. I am now approaching thirty and the same man still plays at the highest level.

Giggs certainly doesn’t have the temperament of his manager. He’s has never been sent off for United and, in many ways, it’s as admirable a feat as Gary Lineker’s zero yellow cards in the previous era. Unlike Lineker, Giggs plays in an area of the pitch in which tackling is required, not to mention the fact that officials have become a good deal more stringent in the last twenty years.

The Welshman does resemble Ferguson in two crucial ways though. Firstly, his hatred of losing surpasses his enjoyment of winning. It has been generally acknowledged that Ferguson began plotting his revenge just minutes after City secured the title last season and Giggs is no different. I recall an interview with him in which he was asked whether he thinks about all he’s achieved, twelve titles, two European Cups and so much more. He said he thinks about losing the title on the final day of the 1995 season far more often. Avoiding an obvious joke, I think it’s fair to say Ryan Giggs is insatiable. Secondly, like the manager, Giggs’ fortunes have often reflected the team’s. Both have been written and or booed off over the years but have generally found an answer. At United the motto tends to be adapt or die. Even this season, years after it seemed a plausible option with that youthful pace but a distant memory, Giggs has rediscovered his form by playing in a wide position once more.

Football is about moments. Giggs has never dominated seasons like Keane, Cantona or Ronaldo yet he has consistently provided moments of genius throughout his career. His most famous, at Villa Park in 1999, the winner in the last ever FA Cup semi-final replay, I was not lucky enough to see live, either at the ground or on television. I’d been to the first leg (a wretched 0-0 notable only for David Elleray disallowing a perfectly legitimate Roy Keane goal) but by the time of the replay, seen by some as the high water mark for football in this country, I was on a school trip in France. We huddled round my crappy old portable radio as a succession of modern language teachers implored us to keep it down. The Tottenham fans fell asleep as the game progressed, leaving only an Arsenal fan and myself. The battery was running so low that, during extra time, we had to turn the radio off at five-minute intervals to ensure it’d survive the whole match. During one such hiatus, Giggs scored. When we turned it back on, Alan Green informed us United were winning 2-1. It wasn’t until the next day when we bought a copy of The Sun with the headline: ‘Is this the greatest goal ever scored?’ that I had any idea exactly what had happened. I remember little about that trip but I recall vividly watching all 120 minutes the second I got home. Much hyped, the goal, like the young Giggs years before, did not disappoint. Ferguson called it: ‘The ultimate expression of the natural gifts he has always had since he came to us as a 13-year-old.’ During that run, Giggsy truly left the defenders with twisted blood.

As a side note, my mother was still writing me messages at this point and slipped a bon voyage card into my bag before we set off. The night before we left I had been devastated by Paul Ince’s late equaliser for Liverpool that looked like costing United the title and the message concluded with: ‘There’s plenty more football left to be played.’ She was right of course, and United went on to win the treble. I often think about the way Ince celebrated that goal and reflect on the fact that we won that title by exactly one point. The final sentence of the card could just as easily apply to Ryan Giggs. It’s hard to believe that goal was fourteen years ago and by no means in the first flushes of the boy’s career. I once saw Barry Davies on television mention that Giggs had said to him he fears the goal will only be remembered for the hairy chest celebration. Davies simply replied: ‘No it won’t, Ryan. No it won’t.’

The years have passed and we continue to sing songs of Ryan Giggs running down the wing even though those days are well behind him. That boy Giggsy has become a man and in the process he’s become the most decorated player in English football history. A reference in The Simpsons, BBC Sports Personality of the Year, a shaved chest, grey hair, even a Bridget Jones style yoga phase. All these things have come to define the ageing wizard. We sing: ‘Giggsy twelve, Gerrard nil’ but sometimes forget just what a remarkable achievement that actually is.

On the final day of the 2007/08 season, Giggs came off the bench and equalled Charlton’s record for United appearances. He scored, wrapped up the game and another title along with it. Ten days later he broke the record in Moscow. Again off the bench, he marked this occasion by converting United’s final penalty. Giggs hasn’t just been a loyal once club player for a team that could afford a passenger – he has made the difference in the very biggest games even at the tail end of his career.

This is no place to pick apart the lurid details of the man’s private life but it is telling that, upon learning of his various sexual indiscretions, most people’s response (reds or otherwise) seemed to simply be disappointment. Football fans just felt it was a shame. Even as the nation has come to despise United and their success, Giggs remains a popular figure. That said, it’s important to separate the artist from the art and Giggs’s private life ought to be exactly that. It’s not as though he’s the first great man to slip up in such a manner, nor will he be the last.

At some point very soon Ryan Giggs will make his one-thousandth appearance for Manchester United. He’ll probably engage in his almost imperceptible nervous habit of touching the studs of both his boots in turn before taking a set piece. He’ll likely remain composed under pressure and find the right man. Enjoy all the small things. He won’t be playing for much longer and we should enjoy it whilst we still can.

George Graham tells a story of how he met Ferguson in his office in the late 1980s before Giggs had adopted his mother’s surname. Fergie pointed out at the training pitch behind him and said: ‘That lad, Ryan Wilson, is going to be one of the all-time greats.’ Many years later Graham asked Ferguson: ‘Whatever happened to that Ryan Wilson anyway?’

He did alright for himself, George. Here’s to the next thousand games…

Friday, March 1, 2013

Saleh Yaakob Punya Sorong Tarik

Madu tualang power! Click here

Sedari dulu, memang pelawak seekor ini disenangi ramai. Sebab, cara dan rupa dia memang style orang kampung. Tiada skandal tiada publisiti murahan.

Pendek kata, pelawak ini laris dan dia boleh mencari makan dengan melawak, berlakon dan jual suara sampai mampos kalau dia mau.

Tapi sayang, otaknya otak udang. Saja menempah sakit. Periuk nasi dah cantek, beras mahal, sapa suruh kangkang dan berak?

Pelawak sekor ini cuba menongkah arus. Cuba mengagah-agah penyokong PR. Ambik obat, sekarang satu Malaya menyumpah Saleh Yaakob.

Paling seram, pelawak sekor ini berbunyi ... "saya nak bersara..."

Lancaw bersara!

Rumah berbijik-bijik, bayar cash kot. Kereta berbijik-bijik, bayar cash kot. Bini b*rb*j*k-b***k, kena kerja kedai tom yam la? Kah kah kah kah

Tapi kan, berita dari Pen Buruk Online, pelawak seekor ini masih lagi meng'abdi'kan dirinya di Sinar FM.

Kah kah kah dah tua-tua macam itu pun masih main sorong tarik, pancut je la!
Kah kah kah kah!!!