Monday, January 31, 2011

To the Tyrants of the World

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Wikipedia translation of Tunisian poet Abo Al Qassim Al Shabbi‘s (1909-1934) “To the Tyrants of the World,”



Hey you, the unfair tyrants…
You the lovers of the darkness…
You the enemies of life…
You’ve made fun of innocent people’s wounds; and your palm covered with
their blood
You kept walking while you were deforming the charm of existence and
growing seeds of sadness in their land
Wait, don’t let the spring, the clearness of the sky and the shine of
the morning light fool you…
Because the darkness, the thunder rumble and the blowing of the wind are
coming toward you from the horizon
Beware because there is a fire underneath the ash
Who grows thorns will reap wounds
You’ve taken off heads of people and the flowers of hope; and watered
the cure of the sand with blood and tears until it was drunk
The blood’s river will sweep you away and you will be burned by the
fiery storm.

fr anwaribrahimblog.com

We Still Have Ijok

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KUANTAN, Jan 31: PAS’s defeat in the Tenang by-election should not demotivate Pakatan Rakyat because the result was a foregone conclusion, said PAS vice president Tuan Ibrahim Tuan Man in a statement to Harakahdaily.

Yesterday, PAS candidate Normala Sudirman lost to Barisan Nasional’s Mohd Azahar Ibrahim by a majority of 3,707 votes, more than what the late BN state assemblyman garnered in 2008, amid low voter turnout due to heavy rain and floods.

The majority however fell short of BN's target of reverting to the 5000 votes in pre-2008.

“What we need to focus on now is strengthening the party. PAS and other component parties must have the basic and solid strength at every area.

Failure to develop this basic strength will make it tough for us to face any election. In Tenang, we admit PAS’s shortcomings whether at branch or membership level,” said Tuan Ibrahim.

'Real face of candidate'

Tuan Ibrahim however said winning the by-election held during flash floods will be a grave test, as the new state assemblyman will now have to address the problems left by the flood.

“It is kind of unfortunate for the winner as he will be tested immediately by voters who are now facing floods in Labis and Tenang. If during campaign, the candidate went down from house to house, helped people, the people can now be able to see the ‘real’ side of the BN candidate,” he added.

He also urged Normala not to be disappointed and continue her struggle as the people would ultimately judge her based on her actions, whether she won or lost.

"Next general election is waiting for you" was his message to Normala, who stole the limelight in this election after MCA president launched personal attacks on her for observing Muslim norms.

'Remember Ijok'

Normala meanwhile expressed appreciation to Pakatan Rakyat leaders, supporters and volunteers during the campaign.

"Continue to fight in the next battle in Merlimau state seat which will be held soon," she wrote in her blog.

PKR's Teja state assemblyman, Chang Lih Kang, said despite the loss, Normala had captured the heart of many Malaysians in the country.

“In the coming general election, we will conquer Tenang like Ijok,” said Chang, recalling the by-election in Ijok, Selangor, in 2007, in which current Selangor Menteri Besar Khalid Ibrahim lost heavily to BN. He however wrested the state seat from MIC in 2008 and went on to become the MB.

Meanwhile, PAS Youth chief Nasrudin Hasan Tantawi said PAS would continue the struggle in Johor with PR despite the loss.

“Pakatan Rakyat will overcome its weakness, correct its mistakes and improvise our work to rise in the next general election,” he twitted.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

MAHAFiraun No More

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Aik?? Hapa dia buat kat sini? thee he he…

Pegi la mam. KAH KAH KAH!
KAH KAH KAH!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Husam Musa Menulis

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Husam Musa menulis dgn gaya bahasa orang berilmu dan penuh adab, walaupun telah dibahasakan 'penipu' atau 'pengangkut najis Ariffahmi' oleh blogger yg dah macam tak kenal halal haram dan seolah-olah lubang teliganya sudah disumbat najis mughalazah, lubang hidungnya asyik menghidu bau najis mughalazah dan matanya telah sebati dengan melihat najis mughalazah.

Moga2 temboloknya belum dimasuki najis mughalazah lagi. Amin.

Oleh Husam Musa,
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Arked Uda Mesti Kekal
Ada blogger tersepit ekornya bila Kerajaan Negeri Kelantan umumkan akan mengambil balik tanah Uda di Kota Bharu.
Dari 'lubang kubur Nik Aziz' sampai kepada 'aku akan panggil engkau penipu' berhamburan keluar. Kenapa mesti panas baran dan sensitif melampau?
Teori 'kerugian ketiga' kononnya akan berlaku jika tanah Uda itu diambil balik. Berapa pula kos akan terlibat.
Menjadi blogger bukan bererti kita faham segala-galanya dan punya lesen besar untuk melanyak semua perkara. Kitalah super hero maha betul dan orang lain hanya penghuni lubang kubur yang terkebil-kebil.
Ambil balik tanah Uda - kesudahannya rugi akan jadi lebih besar.
Semudah itukah? Saya tanya sekali lagi, semudah itukah?
Kalau semudah itu kerugian boleh berlaku dan blogger berkenaan nampaknya amat handal bab untung rugi, sepanjang kareer beliau venture di sana sini, rekod beliau untung saja? Ada rugi sekali sekala. Macam mana boleh rugi? Dalam handal ada kurangnya, bukan?
Tanah prime seluas 1.5 ekar di tengah bandar Kota Bharu dengan muka hadapan jalan, tidak boleh dijanakan dengan komponen komersial yang boleh janakan keuntungan, selain memenuhi tanggung jawab menyediakan kemudahan premis perniagaan untuk peniaga kecil dengan harga yang berpatutan? (Klik SINI utk membaca lagi)

(Klik SINI PLAK kalau nak baca tulisan blogger najis)

Friday, January 28, 2011

We Are What We Eat

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What Your Bowel Movements Are Telling You About Your Health
By Sally Wadyka for MSN Health Fitness

It may not be a topic typically talked about at the dinner table or a cocktail party, but most people are actually somewhat obsessed with it. And with good reason: The state of your gastro-intestinal tract (as well as the quality and quantity of its output) is a great barometer of the health of your body. “The GI tract is a processing unit that metabolizes all of the nutrients you take in and eliminates all of the body’s waste,” explains Dr. Amy Foxx-Orenstein, president of the American College of Gastroenterology. “What comes through it is reflective of how well or how ill the body is.”

Hard and dry
The amount of time it takes for the food you eat to make its way through the gastro-intestinal system and exit into the toilet will have an impact on the consistency of your stool. “Intestinal transit averages 40 to 45 hours from when you eat to when it comes out,” says Foxx-Orenstein. If it stays in the GI tract for longer than that, fluid is re-absorbed into the body and the stool becomes harder and dryer. Certain medications—like blood pressure drugs, antidepressants and histamines—can slow down the GI tract. Constipation, which has a myriad of causes, will lead to harder, drier stools (since you’re going less often, your stool will stall in the system and the fluid re-absorbed). For some people, a diet high in dairy can be a cause of constipation, so if you are experiencing problems going (and have dry, hard-to-pass stool when you do finally go), it is worth reducing your dairy intake for a week or two to see if that helps. And being dehydrated can also lead to this problem because if the body is lacking in water, it will draw it—and conserve it—from wherever it can find it.

Little lumps
“An ideal stool looks like a torpedo—it should be large, soft, fluffy and easy to pass,” says Foxx-Orenstein. But when conditions are less than ideal, the stool may become more like little deer pellets. Again, transit time may be part of the issue because slow-moving stool will lose fluid, making them less fluffy and lumpier. A lack of fiber in the diet may also to be to blame. Beware if you’re following a weight-loss plan (such as Atkins) that focuses on increasing protein and decreasing carbohydrates, since that can leave you with a diet that’s low in fiber. And since fiber holds on to fluid, a lack of it will lead to harder, pellet-like poops that may be more difficult to pass.

Reflections On My Visit In the Malay Archipelago

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by Dr Muzaffar Iqbal

For some unknown reason, it was only after landing in Jakarata that I felt the “adrenaline rush”, although the main event of my trip was held in Kuala Lumpur, where some 300 people had gathered in the auditorium of the Mahsa University College for the second Abdullah Yusuf Ali Lecture, for which I had chosen the theme, “Between Believers and Disbelievers: Qur’an in the Contemporary World”.

The lecture was jointly organized by the Islamic Book Trust and Yayasn Pendidikan Islam in honor of a man whose translation of the Holy Qur’an has helped millions of human beings since 1938, when it was first published by a publisher in Lahore.

The inaugural lecture of the series was delivered by M. A. Sherif in December 2008. Sherif is the author of Searching for Solace, the only book-length biography of Abdullah Yusuf Ali who was found sitting on the steps of a house in Westminster on a harsh winter day of 1953. On that Wednesday, December 9, the confused old man was taken by the police to Westminster Hospital. The next day, he was discharged from the hospital and taken to a London County Council home for the elderly situated on Dovehouse Street, Chelsea. The next day, he suffered a heart attack, was rushed to St Stephen's Hospital in Fulham where he died three hours later.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

DEBAT Itu Tayang Telur Ke?

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Ini telur Mario Balotelli, striker Manchester City yg berkulit hitam..
Satu hari, Balotelli telah disoal oleh polis kulit putih yg rasis
"you have GBP5,000 in your back pocket, why?"
jawab Balotelli, "you ask me why? That's bcoz I'm bloody rich!"
KAH KAH KAH!KAH KAH KAH!
Itu baru ada telur, berani..thee he he…
Bukan debat tak debat, demam tak demam..thee he he…
Debat Shahidan-Isa Sabu?..thee he he…
jgn mimpi la..thee he he…
Dua-dua telur dah lanjot!KAH KAH KAH!KAH KAH KAH!KAH KAH KAH!KAH KAH KAH!

oleh Muhayat Jasmin

PADANG BESAR, 19 Jan: Konflik yang melibatkan Ketua Penerangan Umno Perlis, Datuk Hashim Suboh dengan Ahli Jawatankuasa Umno Bahagian Padang Besar, Ali Ismail terus berlanjutan dengan perkembangan terbaru timbulnya desakan supaya diadakan perdebatan antara kedua-dua pihak berhubung isu 'mentalkinkan Umno Perlis' yang hangat diperkatakan baru-baru ini.

Menurut sumber dalaman Umno negeri itu kepada Harakahdaily, cabaran supaya Hashim yang dilihat menyebelahi bekas menteri Besar, Datuk Seri Shahidan Kassim menerima pelawaan Ali sebagai penyokong Menteri Besar, Datuk Seri Isa Sabu untuk berdebat, telah diusulkan dalam mesyuarat Umno Bahagian yang diadakan pada minggu lalu.

Cabaran itu dikatakan bertujuan merungkai segala permasalahan yang timbul dan isu yang melibatkan Umno Negeri Perlis.

Pakai Natang Bewok Tu Dulu

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Ada beberapa kerat makhluk mcm Big Foot, Raes Yateeem,
Tambee Cheek dan Anak Jarjes, jgn.. jgn..thee he he…
jgn langsung dibagi dekat dgn Cikgu Mala..thee he he…




Kalau nak dekat jugak..thee he he…
kena pakai natang bewok ni!! KAH KAH KAH! KAH KAH KAH!

Majlis solat hajat dan bacaan Yassin

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Bayan Baru thee he he…

Kulim thee he he…

Pasir Mas thee he he…

Padang Rengas thee he he…

Jelebu thee he he…

Pekan thee he he…

Semua mintak durian runtuh, bulan jatuh ke riba,
atau lebih tepat lagi..thee he he…

Pilihanraya Kecil!! KAH KAH KAH! KAH KAH KAH!

We Are What We Eat

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You Are What You Poo – What Your Body's Solid Waste Can Tell You about Your Diet

By CHARLES STUART PLATKIN
Story Published: Apr 30, 2008 at 12:04 PM PST

I’m going to warn you right now: If you have an aversion to your body’s waste, don’t read any further. However, if you’re like most people, you’re probably very interested in what your stool can tell you about your diet and your health. Who better to answer our questions and tell us a bit about our poo then Anish Sheth, MD, a gastroenterology fellow at the Yale School of Medicine and the co-author of the best-selling book What's Your Poo Telling You? (Chronicle Books, 2007).

Diet Detective: Do we put out exactly what we take in? Are the qualities and types of food the only things that affect what comes out? Or are there multiple forces at work, such as genetics, overall health, etc.?

Dr. Sheth: Sure, there are many factors that determine what our stool looks like. The main modifiable component is our diet, with fiber being responsible for the girth, weight and consistency of our stool. Other factors include transit time (how long it takes the stuff we eat to move through our system), medications (which can cause both constipation and diarrhea and even change the color of our stool – bismuth turns it black), and underlying diseases that may affect our ability to digest food properly (i.e., celiac disease).

Diet Detective: Should people be paying more attention to what comes out of them for health reasons? Or do most of us already pay more attention than we let on?

Dr. Sheth: Yes and yes. On a day-to-day level, taking a quick glance can let us know about our diet (whether we are eating enough fiber, etc.). It can also give clues to the multitude of ailments that affect our GI tract (bleeding could mean inflammatory bowel disease or cancer; fatty stools could indicate liver or pancreatic disease, etc.). I think most people do take a glance but don’t know what to look for and don’t feel comfortable discussing their observations with their doctors.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Hang Kata Aku Tak Dak Teloq? pt 4

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"Tetapi jika beliau mahu meneruskan, saya memang bersedia, malah termasuk membincangkan kes liwat. Saya boleh jawab dan saya juga mahu timbulkan isu rasuah, pembunuhan, mencuri isteri orang lain, Port Dickson, - semua itu boleh dibawa dan dibincangkan juga!"

"Dah cukuplah pembohongan, janji banyak tak boleh buat, ini nak debat dengan saya pula, buang masa. Saya boleh debat dengan dia, saya tak takut, saya dengan menteri saya tahu segala maklumat. Jangan cuba nak cabar saya, kalau saya dedahkan segala-galanya, ada orang yang demam nanti!"

Tak Ada Telur pt 3

Semua Tak Ada Telur pt 2

Semua Tak Ada Telur pt 1

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Apa Punya BANGSAT Daaaaaa....KAH KAH KAH! KAH KAH KAH!

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Malay History: What’s missing from the textbooks

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by John Doe | CPIASIA

Brunei has always been known to be one of the earliest Muslim Kingdoms in Southeast Asia. They pride themselves in this fact. All their neighbors pride themselves in this too, and of course, since it is fact, it is irrefutable. Right?

Good. Let’s quickly look at some FACTS then:

It is taught in school textbooks that Pateh Berbai, the brother of Awang Semaun and Awang Alak Betatar, discovered Brunei. Awang Alak Betatar subsequently became Brunei’s first Sultan and was known as Sultan Muhammad Shah. Awang Semaun and Awang Alak Betatar were the famous heroes in Brunei during that time.

Sultan Muhammad Shah was the first Sultan of Brunei. He ruled Brunei from 1363 to 1402. He was the first Muslim ruler of Brunei as a result of his conversion to Islam in 1363 for his marriage to a Johorean-Temasik princess. Prior to conversion to Islam, he was known as Awang Alak Betatar.

He sent a mission to China in 1371 by which his name is recorded in Ming historical record as Mo-ha-mo-sha. Sultan Muhammad Shah died in 1402. Sultan Muhammad Shah was the first Sultan of Brunei. He ruled Brunei from 1363 to 1402. He married the daughter of Iskander, a Johorean-Temasik princess introduced by Bal-Paki, her brother-in-law to be.

So far so good… Oh Really?
Read the above again very carefully !! Sultan Muhammad Shah married a Johorean-Temasik princess in 1363. Now, for all those products of Biro Tata Negara (BTN) out there, what year was Malacca formed? 1403. So, there was a Johor king already in 1363? Are you going to argue with Ketuanan Brunei on this? (By the way, he’s more Melayu than YOU!) Also for those who insist that Penang be handed over to Kedah, read the following again and again …

USTAZAH Hillary Dah Kata OK

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Habis kembang segala lubang, segala injap...thee he he…

Habis kembang segala otot dimuka, ditengkok, diponggong...thee he he…

Baru kena pegang sikit dgn 
Hillary, baru Hillary picit sikit...thee he he…

Kena macam gitu pun dah naik stim...thee he he…

Kala mat salleh, kapir, hidung tinggi, pegang picit sikit je... stiiiiiim! KAH KAH KAH!

Dia ni tak tau lagi geli-geleman kena pegang dgn First Lady ni, satu macam! KAH KAH KAH!KAH KAH KAH!


TPM: M'sia negara Islam yang diperakui Amerika

Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin, berkata Malaysia diperakui sebagai sebuah negara Islam contoh oleh negara-negara luar serta pemimpin mereka seperti Setiausaha Negara Amerika Syarikat, Hillary Clinton.


"Geli tu memang la geli..
Tapi boleh tahaaaan.."
Timbalan Perdana Menteri berkata, kemajuan ekonomi dan kestabilan politik yang dinikmati oleh rakyat Malaysia hari ini hasil keberkesanan pemerintahan kerajaan yang diterajui oleh BN.

"Ketika saya melawat Amerika Syarikat baru-baru ini, Hillary Clinton sendiri menyatakan kekaguman di atas pencapaian Malaysia dari segi keberkesanan kerajaan, demokrasi yang segar dan pertumbuhan ekonomi yang pesat," katanya. Click HERE for more

Brits cared more for poor Malays than Umno

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Zefry Dahalan | January 19, 2011

REMBAU: The British colonial government was more concerned about the plight of poor Malays compared to Umno, said an opposition leader.Rembau PKR chief Badrul Hisham Shaharin made the accusation after coming to learn about the plight of an 80-year-old resident in Kampung Halt Chembong here. The resident, Hasnah Latif is upset with the amount of compensation she has received from the government, claiming that it is well below market value.

Hasnah’s land and house is among the 40 houses in the village which have to make way for the double railway track project from Seremban to Gemas which passes through the district of Rembau and Tampin. Hasnah claimed that the RM98,000 compensation is not sufficient for her to buy a plot of land and build another new house. “From day one, I insisted that I don’t want money and I told the staff at the Rembau parliament service centre to please replace my land and house, but this did not happen,” she said. Click HERE for more


We Are What We Eat

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Poop - Poo - Stools - Crap - Feces - Faeces and what they can show us, tell us and teach us.
Contents: What Poop color tells you -- What poops floating or sinking characteristics tell you -- Poop size does matter -- What poop texture tells you -- Conclusion on the importance of knowing your poop and knowing the poop of your children.
Yes, just about everything on poop that you didn't know who to ask about and maybe never would.

Just as we can tell much about a dinosaur from it's petrified poop, we can tell much about a human by the poop they poo out.

In spite of the topics weirdness, it is actually quite a serious topic, which can perhaps even save your life.

Knowing how to read your own poop, or the poop of your children, can help you understand what's going on with the intestines, liver and diet.

It may even alert you to some dangerous illnesses that cause blood to appear in the stool.

Poo - Poop - Crap - Stools - Feces - What their color tells you.

Yes, the color of your poop can tell you something about your general health.

Firstly, if your poop is a milk chocolate color, that's the best.

Black poops are warning bells - could be cancer and bleeding up in your intestines. See a doctor fast.

If the poop is too dark, that could again suggest a liver problem.

Yellow poop may suggest your liver is not producing enough bile for digesting food.

Yellow bits in your poop suggest you ate corn and that you are not chewing your food enough.

Green poop may mean your liver is overproducing bile, too much bile. Green poop could also mean you ate salads and green vegetables the day or two before.

Green poop may also mean you are not digesting your food very well - if this is the case your green poop will also contain bits of lettuce, silver beet, spinach or other green food stuffs. Apart from mango and watermelon, most fruits will be fully digested in a healthy digestion system - so if they show up in the poop, you may have a digestive problem.

Whitish, foggy areas on your poop may suggest liver problems - the fat in the food not being broken down fully.

Bright red suggests undigested blood in your stool, such as from internal hemorrhoids.

Dark red in poops suggests bleeding in the intestines which requires medical assessment fast.

Poo - Poop - Crap - Stools - Feces - What their floating or sinking characteristics tell you.

Vegetarians should have floating poop - veges produce gas that get caught in the poop, making the poop lighter than water.

Big meat and junk food eaters will often have floaters too. The poop contains fat, the fat is lighter than water, so the poop floats. This can also mean a liver problem, as the fat is not being broken down fully.

For those of us who eat both veges and meat, expect your poop to sink.

Poo - Poop - Crap - Stools - Feces - Size does matter.

The more you eat, the more you should be pooping.

Ideal poop is 6 to 10 inches in length - 15 to 25cm - pooping two to three out each sitting. Width not so important, as width of poop mostly determined by the width of your colon.

Poo - Poop - Crap - Stools - Feces - What the texture tells you.

Texture of poop is hard to describe. A poop that looks smooth or very rough suggests either poor digestion or poor diet. The ideal poop is in between.

Vegetables make stools soft, but if you have no veges and your stool is soft, then you may have a problem. Without veges the stools should be hard, which is good if you want constipation and resulting hemroids.

Diarrhea

Runny poop is a diarrhea and can be caused by a germ (virus or bacteria) or diet or other condition.

If it's a germ causing the runny poop, then keep the fluids up, like flat lemonade and avoid eating anything except dry toast or dry biscuits, like Jatz, which are most likely safe to eat.

If the runny poop is diet based, it more than likely means you are living on cereal just about. High sugar and lots of fiber. So cut down on the sugary stuff and give your body a chance - all that wiping could cause external hemroids.

If your runny poop is not a germ or diet, then you have a condition that requires medical assessment.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Tak Ada TELUR pt.3

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Semua Tak Ada Telur Pt. 2

Semua Tak Ada Telur

Anwar slams Najib, PAS man targets Rosmah FMT
Teoh El Sen | January 23, 2011

"Cak! Cak! Hang tak kenai kat aku ka? Hang kata aku kaki demam? Habaq mai sekali lagi...Hang jgn buat peleceeeeey..."

"Dak... dak aih! Dak aih! Aku yg kena demam campak dulu...bkn hang.. hang OK!"

CILAKO Kau Mariam!

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Wuuuuuuiiii... ikut sodap mulut kau Mariam!

Rais is past his “Sell-buy” date
Written by Mariam Mokhtar, Malaysia Chronicle

The more Malaysia’s Information, Communication and Cultre Minister, Rais Yatim speaks out to defend BN’s actions or his ministry’s policies, the more we wonder why Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak didn’t offer him early retirement.

Ini? Apo ko bondo??

Patah riuk den khojokan!! Den bolom expired laie...KAH KAH KAH KAH!

Rais’ latest gem is to tell us that ‘The First Lady’ Rosmah Mansor’s middle-eastern and Bangladesh trip, with her entourage of ministers wives and other hangers-on, was well worth every sen of taxpayers’ money and that we, the rakyat, are too dumb to acknowledge her contributions to Malaysia’s international image.

Ada Perasaan TAKOT?

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Jgn cari fasal..ampu jgn tak ampu, walau menyampah macam mana pun tetap kena ampu...Lain la kalau nak bernyawa kat celah kangkang...thee he he…

Tapi kalau dah species suka bernyawa kat celah kangkang, ikut suka la...thee he he…

Tapi ini bukan celah kangkang amah tau? Bagi ta
u awal-awal!! KAH KAH KAH!

Rais defends Rosmah's overseas trips: "She should play a part"

Critics of the overseas visits of the Prime Minister's wife do not understand government regulations, Minister of Information, Communication and Culture Datuk Seri Dr Rais Yatim said Friday.

He said that visits of the kind Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor undertook recently to Saudi Arabia, Oman and Bangladesh were provided for by the Members of the Administration Ethics 1988/1999 decided by the cabinet.

Rais cited Article 1180A of the ethics, which said that the wife of a member of the administration may represent her husband or make an overseas visit on official business as long as it does not contradict the function and service of the minister or his ministry. Click HERE for more

Rais Yatim TERHIMPIT

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Pakai topi la? Pakai spek itam la?...thee he he…

Ingat orang tak boleh cam la?...thee he he…

Dah tua rupanya menteri ni... berkeripot muka kena sepit..KAH KAH KAH!




We Are What We Eat

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What your poo tells you
Most serious of all is what Sheth and Richman term Rambo Poo. The appearance of blood in the stool is often an indication of gastrointestinal bleeding, Sheth said. Blood can be the result of something relatively minor, like hemorrhoids or diverticulosis. But it could also be the result of colon cancer, and the book advises anyone who sees blood in their stool to visit a doctor.
A daily peek in the toilet bowl is probably not anyone's favourite thing. But one gastroenterologist says that your bowel movements can be an important clue to the state of your digestive health.


Dr Anish Sheth - otherwise known as Dr Stool - and Josh Richman outline all the things you can learn from examining your faeces in What's Your Poo Telling You?, a book that uses jokes and trivia as a way to get people comfortable with talking about gastrointestinal health.

"Of course there's a humorous side to the subject of poo," said Sheth, a gastroenterology fellow at Yale University. "But what isn't as well known is that you can learn about your health by looking in the bowl."

So You're A FOOTIE..

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See how handy Yorkie with his head and enjoy the catchy song too..

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Bodoh MELANTUN-LANTUN

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mamat ni main jarum jugak... thee he he…
tapi tak terhegeh-hegeh nak title Dr. macam Wak Diman... thee he he…
Wak Diman jadi dukun tak Ok ke? KAH KAH KAH!

Ijazah PhD Satim Diman diragui
PETALING JAYA: Seorang Exco Kerajaan Negeri Selangor meragui kesahihan Ketua Pembangkang Selangor Datuk Mohamad Satim Diman yang juga Adun Seri Serdang memperoleh sijil penganugerahan ijazah sarjana doktor falsafah (PhD) yang membawa gelaran 'Dr'. Klik Freemalaysiatoday

Selangor Opposition Chief  A Phony Dr.? Click HERE for more

Phony? Gapo phony? Gapo dio phony? Pony ko??

Bkn pony laaa.. KALDAI!!  .........KAH KAH KAH! KAH KAH KAH! KAH KAH KAH!

Sang Pendekar

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oleh  Azizi Hj Abdullah

Aku tidak tahu dia berasal dari mana, berguru dengan siapa lalu dia dinamakan ‘ Pendekar.’ Melihat sosoknya yang koro, bongkok cengkung aku nyaris-nyaris menamakan dia pendekar silat pulut.

Aku juga ragu menamakan dia pendekar walaupun namanya Pendekar.Aku tidak tahu dia sarjana silat kelas berapa. Lalu aku sebut saja Pendekar ini secara pendekar Randai Piring Si Pulut Kuning. Biarlah aku tidak memahat dalam baris, berkata dalam pusaka. Biarlah aku tidak berpegang kepada musuh jangan dicari, bersua jangan dielak atau kail sebentuk umpan seekur, sehari putus, sehari hanyut.

Kusebut saja dia Pendekar Pulut Kuning Si Pondan Sumbing, walaupun dia ada berkebolehan gerak awal,gerak tengah, gerak akhir. Dia memang berkebolehan memulih kadar nadi, membuat telapak sama paras dengan bahu,memusing telapak kanan arah belakang lalu menyiku sama paras dengan bahu.

Aku tahu dia berkebolehan duduk sesujud, tangan separas dada dan telapak memegang piring kemudian memusing telapak melawan jarum jam. Tapi dia Pendekar yang emosional, kerana itu aku pooorrraaahhh! Perangainya huduh dalam gelanggang. Dialah bukan disesar gunung berlari, hilang kabut pun masih tak nampak. Dia bukan tidur diperkalang, tidak juga berjalan dipertongkat.

Dia pendekar yang hanya tahu menepis, tidak menghibu. Dia tahu menghanduh tapi tak kuat merengkuh. Dia pendekar berhujahkan perkara dan akta.

Begitu anggan mereka yang selalu menjadi pemerhati gelanggang bersilat itu.
Memang dia diberi kuasa menggelanggang bersama anak buah pesilat yang tak tamat bertauliah. Mereka selalu buka langkah mengikut rentak gendang sumbang yang ditabuh oleh budak-budak yang hingus meleleh. Adalah lebih kurang seratus tetapi selalunya tidak hadir semua kalau tiba waktu silat.

Gelanggang itu kepunyaan seorang guru yang tidak memiliki ijazah ‘maha’. Manakala tapak itu dikawal oleh seorang penyangak kawasan luar yang bernama Yahud Ocpa, selaku penasihat.

“Pendekar!” begitu disebut apabila mula berada dalam gelanggang.

Dia pun memuncungkan mulutnya. Perasan gila meroyan naik ke kepala. Megah separuh dunia. Maka dengan pongah, selendang yang diselempang di bahu itu dipegang-pegang.
Tapi jadahnya sejak akhir-akhir ini dia semakin gila sasau. Dia terasa pendekarnya tidak mampu menepis apabila beberapa orang lain yang bukan ahli masuk gelanggang.

Mengikut peraturan memang dia kena terima kemasukan mereka ke gelanggang itu. Mereka bukan calang-calang pendekar. Mereka terpilih menjadi pesilat. Tepis terajang mereka memang sakan terutama Pak KS, Kiyai An, Tetuan S dan Anak Muda Julung Berkeris.
Sepenggal dia menjadi pendekar tak diberi pun keris. “ Kamu tidak layak diberi keris,” kata Yahud Ocpa, penasihat gelanggang.

“Kenapa Tuan?”

“Engkau emosional. Muncung mulut kau pun sudah tahu, kau orang emosinal. Dibimbangi ketika bertepis terajang, kau guna keris. Mampus semua!”

Maka selepas itu Pendekar menjadi pendekar tak berkeris. Dia asyik main tepis-tepis sahaja walaupun kadang-kadang dia menepis angin dan sesekali menepis air liurnya sendiri. Dia tidak mahu pendekar yang masuk ke gelanggang yang bukan dari kalangan ahli Yahud Ocpa bertikam-tikam ke tepi ke tengah begitu saja. Dia mesti menghalangnya dengan tepis terajang. Jika tak terdaya, dia akan guna peraturan dan akta. Pedulikan tuduhan berat sebelah.

Memang pun dia tahu dia berat sebelah. Memang dalam gelanggang yang diperhati oleh Sang Guru dan Yahud Ocpa kena berat sebelah. Kadfang-kadang sampai berat dua bela. Dunia mencemuhnya dan memang Pendekar tahu orang mencemuhnya, meluat kepadanya. Tapi dia ada alasan. Kalau puak Penghakim Penghakam mengadili pesilat dan pendekar boleh menggunakan ‘tak relevan, tak relevan’ sebagai pemati hujah, maka dia juga mampu menggunakan hujah lain yang menasabah. Dia akan pakai ‘menurut akta- mengikut peraturan.’

Satu hari berlakulah pertikaman dan tepis menepis. Silat harimau Putih dan Gayung pun berlaku.

“ Anda tidak boleh berguling?” demikian dia menempik Pak KS yang berjanggut bermisai itu. Puncanya kerana Pak KS menggunakan silat Harimau Putih untuk membantah kependekarannya.

“Kenapa?”

“Menurut peraturan gelanggang, anda tidak boleh guna guling anak harimau. Itu silat Harimau Putih, di sini tidak.”

Maka hari itu gelanggang pun riuh dengan sorak dan tepis menepis, elak mengelak, tendang menendang. Pendekar yang sememangnya kurang pendekar cukup tidak termampu hendak mengelak serangan dari empat pendekar itu. Dia mula lelah tetapi sangat malu hendak memberitahu dia lelah. Masakan seorang pendekar boleh semput dalam gelanggang.
“Pendekar, menurut peraturan, kami boleh Balik Kuang, kami boleh Cekak Musang, kami boleh Kunci Kalimah Mim dan kami boleh Guling Tenggiling! Ini buah-buah Silat Harimau!” kata Anak Muda Julung Berkeris sebagai membela kawannya.

“Tapi anda melanggar peraturan. Banyak perkara kamu dedah tentang persilatan dalam gelanggang ini yang tak sepatutnya kamu dedah. Ini rahsia. Malu kalau orang tahu!” kata Pendekar lagi dengan penuh emosi.

Maka berlakulah tepis menepis yang anih antara Pendekar tak berkeris dengan pendekar yang bukan dari kalangan anak buahnya. Dia melompat dengan kependekaran lelah, terangguk-angguk penat. Dia mengompol segala akta dan peraturan untuk ditepis ketika yang berempat itu menerajang atau penyepak.

Pemerhati di tepi gelanggang melihat penuh jijik. Tidak ada seni persilatan langsung dalam gelanggang itu. Pendekar yang kononnya pendekar tidak lngsung mengguna pendekatan mahabbah. Dia sering mengeluarkan peraturan dan akta.

“Hahhhh!” dia menempek dan menyebek-nyebek kerana penat.

“Heeeeeh!” pendekar berempat yang tidak pernah mendapat keadilan bergelanggang itu menjawab balik.

Maka atas kuasa sebagai pendekar dalam gelanggang yang mulia itu, berlakulah satu perlawanan tradisi yang tidak mempunyai seni langsung. Pendekar melibas Gunting, Pak KS mengeluar Buah Penggerun.Kiyai An melibas Amuk Harimau, Pendekar membuat Gerak 7 Penjuru.

Melompat pula Tetuan S, Pendekar mengeluar Telunjuk Tahaiyat. Di serang dengan Buah Sayap Kuku Harimau. Pendekar mengeluar Buah Kunci kalimah Dal, Kiyai An mengeluar Buah Kunci Kalimah Muhamad. Pendekar tercungap-cungap lelah, terkentut dan cirit.

“Nanti!” katanya. “Mengikut peraturan, anda tidak boleh terajang sepak dengan
kalimah yang mulia!” katanya.

“Saya boleh hambat anda keluar gelanggang!”

Maka berhuhu, berhua-hualah bunyi sindiran dari pmemerhati.

Ketika dalam bilik rehat Pendekar didatangi Penasihat Gelanggang lalu memberitahunya yang sepanjang persilatan tadi Sang Guru dan Yahud Ocpa melihat melalui CNN. Katanya tepisan dan terajang Pendekar tidak berkesan. Satu kaedah lain mesti dilakukan sesuai dengan pendekar gelanggang. Yang penting empat pendekar yang bukan ahli sendiri perlu disingkir dari gelanggang. Pendekarlah yang perlu mencari kaedah. Yang paling elok hanya dengan peraturan dan akta.

Pendekar pun angguk-angguk. Soal peraturan dan akta memang sudah ada dalam kepalanya. Dia akan menggunakan nanti.

Maka ketika sessi petang bermula, anak buah Pendekar seramai seratus orang lebih yang asyik menguap dan mengantuk itu tiba-tiba memanggung kepala sebaik saja Kiyai An mula bersilat.

“Tuan Pendekar, ini buah serangan maut gayung bersambut!” kata Kiyai An lalu dia pun melompat menerajang. Dilakukan patah dayung nasi hangit, patah dayung kuda gila, lambung kuda gila, humban ketam kawah pecah dan selak duyung.

“ Heee, apa ni Kiyai An. Peraturan, peraturan, perkara 7, ” dia hairan. Matanya terkelip-kelip macam mata katak malam.

“Apa ni?” sembung Anak Muda Julung Berkeris. Lalu dia pun melompat dengan jinjit kuali pangku mayat, kebas selak duyung, patah alu selak duyung, sambar helang pecah kawah, kuda gila pecah tebu.

“Heee, mengikut peraturan, lagang anda mencemar alam. Mengikut akta anda tak boleh teruskan!” kata Pendekar sambil menggaru-garu lurah juburnya.

“Hoi!” tiba-tiba Tetuan S menyinga. “Aparaaaa! Ini pendekar gila. Sikit-sikit peraturan,sikit-sikit peraturan,” katanya dan kemudian dia pula membuka lagang langkah kilas dayung perahu karam, patah alu tembi siku, kawah sepit patah tebu dan pulas patah tebu.

“Stop! Berkali-kali saya kata, ini peraturan. Kalau anda tidak patuh, sekarang juga saya boleh hambat dari gelanggang ini!”

“Peraturan apa?” tanya Anak Muda Julung Berkeris.

“Peraturanlah!”

Maka melompatlah sekali lagi Pak KS kerana dia seorang yang arif tentang sepak terajang dan peraturan. Lalu dia pun mendepa tangan, memberi hormat dan memulakan Buah Tapak Kunci Mati:

Dia mengilas sawa berendam.
Pendekar terlopong mulut.
Dia mengilas payung sangga maut.
Pendekar terkelip-kelip hairan.

Dia mengacip emas, patah dayung cekak bunting. Mengacip selak emas, pasung Cina, tali gantung.

Pendekar hendak tergincit cirit. Semalam memang makan asam jawa.
Pak KS membuka langkah lagi lalu dikilas dayung tali gantung, selak emas, kilas tali, tolak lintang, patah layar perahu karam.

“Heee pendekar KS. Peraturan 001, anda kena berhenti!” Pendekar memberi peringatan.
Pak KS seperti tidak dengar. Dia dengan meradang membuat patah sangga, kilas biawak, pasak mati, kilas buaya berendam. Kemudian Kiyai An melompat dan mendepa-depa dan memulakan langkah lain: Dilakukan pecah genting, pecah bata dan dengan mendengus dia pecah buluh. Dengan geram dia kopak pecah kelapa, lompat atas kaca.

Pendekar terjegil. Dia sungguh tidak mampu hendak menepis atau menerajang. Rasanya kependekarannya terlalu jauh tersentot.

Apabila Kiyai An hendak mengopak cekau batang pisang dan tumbuk kertas, Pendekar yang sememangnya berkuasa dalam gelanggang itu mehentak-hentak tumit kakinya ke tanah. Dengan penuh emosi dia berkata: “Ini gelanggang mulia. Tidak ada orang yang boleh lebih dari peraturan. Saya sendiri ikut peraturan. Nampaknya anda berempat sudah melampau langgar peraturan. Mengikut peraturan 002 + 006 berpaksi emosional, kamu berempat diperentah keluar dari helanggang ini.” Katanya sambil me nyeh-nyeh hingus.

“Heee Pendekar!” Pak KS cuba menghalang.

“Enam bulan!” katanya dan kemudian melangkah keluar dari gelanggang sambil mengampu-ngampu seluar dan labuh jubahnya. Tak siapa yang tahu dia sebenarnya sudah cirit birit.

Dalam keadaan anak buahnya terpinga-pinga, Pendekar tergesa-gesa mengatur langkah. Apabila sudah melepasi pintu tandas, dia tersenyum. Dia rasa dialah yang paling bodoh dikalangan orang yang pandai dan dialah yang cukup pandai dikalangan orang yang bodoh. Tapi satu saja yang tidak dapat dilindunginya, dialah pendekar yang paling emosional ketiga berada dalam gelanggang.
“Puuttt!” dia terkentut.
‘Plummm! Kelecak!’ bunyi ketul tahinya jatuh.
“Haaaa...’ dia melepas lega.

Ruud Apologises

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Hamburg striker happy to end five-year rift with the Manchester United manager.

Ruud van Nistelrooy has sought to end his rift with Sir Alex Ferguson by making a personal apology to the Manchester United manager almost five years since their working relationship began to disintegrate and the bitterness eventually led to his departure.

Van Nistelrooy told Ferguson he regretted the way he had behaved – the Dutchman once had a fight with Cristiano Ronaldo on the club's training pitch and drove home after he was left out of the starting line-up against Charlton Athletic on the final day of the 2005-06 season – and admitted he had contributed to the reasons why Ferguson had decided he had to get rid of a striker who had scored 150 goals in his five seasons at Old Trafford. Click HERE for more

We Are What We Eat

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Saliva: could it contain painkillers?

by Thomas P. Connelly


As a NYC Cosmetic Dentist, I get asked about saliva quite a bit (often when I have instruments in someone's mouth and they start to drool.)

So let's answer the common questions: What is saliva? Where does it come from? What's in it? What is it used for? What are we still learning about it?

What is saliva, and where does it come from?

Call it what you want -- spit, spittle, drool, etc -- saliva is one of the most common (and obvious) bodily fluids. It's the watery substance that's prevalent in everyone's mouth, and is produced by three pairs of major salivary glands (and many, many minor glands).

These three major glands are located on the inside of each cheek, on the bottom of the mouth, and under the jaw, towards the front of the mouth. The rest of the minor glands are all over the rest of the mouth (the palate, the tongue, your lips, etc.)

These glands work together to produce saliva all day, every day (although production of saliva dramatically falls during sleep. Hey, that's why your mouth is so dry when waking up!) In general terms, most healthy humans will produce somewhere between one and two quarts of saliva a day.

What is in saliva?
This may be a surprise to some people, but Saliva is 98 percent water. Although if you think about it, maybe it's not so surprising -- we learned way back in science class that our bodies are mostly water, so is it a reach that the clear fluid we produce is mostly water? Not really.

But the other 2 percent is the important part. That other 2 percent is a combination of mucus, enzymes (mostly amylase, lysozyme, lingual lipase), electrolytes (sodium, potassium, calcium, etc), and antibacterial compounds. Recent research on mice has centered on the painkiller Opiorphin, which is also present in saliva (Opiorphin is said to be stronger than Morphine). More on this below.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Woman

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Najib’s Nubiles vs Blair’s Babes and Gaddafi’s virgin soldiers
Written by Mariam Mokhtar, Malaysia Chronicle

It is nice to know that Prime minister Najib Abdul Razak is joining the international arena of ‘women’s power’, just like UK’s Tony Blair, Libya’s Gaddafi and Italy’s Silvio Berlusconi.

Former British PM, Tony Blair had 101 female Labour Party MPs in his administration after the 1997 general election. They were known as “Blair’s Babes” and were full of hope and high expectations.





Silvio Berlusconi, the Italian prime minister, is fond of young and pretty women. He manages to appoint them as ‘ministers’ and one former topless model and beauty queen became equal opportunities minister in his new cabinet. Silvio has at least four women ministers. His opponents have criticised him for selecting young, attractive female candidates—some with little or no political experience—to represent the party in the European Parliament elections.

When it comes to personal protection, Libyan leader Colonel Muammar Gaddafi is normally flanked by 30 blue-uniformed females, all supposedly virgins, dangling their guns from their shoulders as they give him 24-hour protection. All wear nail varnish, perfume and lipsticks, and sport trendy hair styles.

We Are What We Eat

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My beef isn't with beef: why I stopped being a vegetarian
To be vegetarian is to be a pacifist, avoiding the fight against animal cruelty. Eat meat from sustainable farms, and we will win.

I was a vegetarian for a long time – the bulk of my adult life, actually. When I realised how most of the steaks got to my plate (and how pumped-full of antibiotics and growth hormones they were), I put down my fork and took a vow to never be a part of that system again. My research into the brutal American factory farm system and its effects on the environment was a life-changing stumble down into the rabbit hole; I discovered a twisted world of assembly-line death camps, crippled animals, radiated carcasses and festering diseases. I don't have to get into the specifics, but clearly it wasn't a compassionate way to get my suggested 46 grams of protein a day. So I stopped eating meat, cold Tofurkey.

Nearly a decade later I'm no longer a vegetarian. In fact, I couldn't be further from the produce aisle. Nowadays I own and operate a small farm where I raise my own chicken, pork, lamb, rabbit, turkey and eggs. I had a serious change of heart, and it happened when I realised my aversion to meat wasn't solving the animal welfare problem I was protesting about. My beef, after all, wasn't with beef. It was with how the cow got to my plate in the first place. One way to make sure the animals I ate lived a happy, respectable life was to raise them myself. I would learn to butcher a free-range chicken, raise a pig without antibiotics and rear lambs on green hillside pastures. I would come back to meat eating, and I would do it because of my love for animals.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Semua Tak Ada TELUR Pt. 2

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Semua Tak Ada TELUR Pt. 1

Tloq jgn simpan dlm pouch
Tloq kena simpan dlm seluar, 
supaya boleh dibawak kemana-mana..thee he he…

Go ahead knock him down; Mahfuz to Najib
Harakahdaily

KUALA LUMPUR, Jan 19: Prime Minister Najib Razak has been told to quit his rhetoric and to stop shying away from a debate with Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim.

“Just debate. There’s no use to put up a show from afar," said PAS vice president Mahfuz Omar.

He was commenting on Najib's excuse to decline a debate invitation with Anwar, saying Anwar should first solve his "personal problems" before intervening in other affairs.

"Sapa suruh hang baca Bernama, skrg ni habaq mai hang ada tloq ka dak?"

"Aku dah sound Bernama, skrg ni habaq mai hang ada tloq ka dak?"

"Cakap la betui2, habaq mai la hang ada tloq ka dak?"

DaH Tak Ada Hormat Lagi Ka? Sedey la..

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@NajwanHalimi: Nak #tanyanajib betul ke Rosmah pakai susuk dan main bomoh?

@HilmiIsmaill #tanyanajib How does is feel to sleep next to Rosmah? Mendebarkan tak?

@MrKayMY #tanyanajib @NajibRazak DS Rosmah ke Riyadh sbg wakil kerajaan Malaysia ke? Kalau ye, kenapa dia?

@kev_Q #tanyanajib @NajibRazak Sir, I like your wife's album but where can I obtain the album karaoke version because YouTube seems to delete it.

@aleffush Apa dalam rambut Rosmah?

@NajibRazak. Kenapa banyak kesangsian dalam PERMATA dan sejauh mana kredibiliti Pengerusinya dalam hal ini? #tanyanajib #nkra



Ini Twitter #tanyanajib..thee he he…


Kebiasaanya, soalan bodo ditanyakan oleh orang bodo dgn harapan sebodo-bodonya boleh dijawab dgn agak bodo oleh orang yg diaggap bodo, meskipn dari kalangan orang bodo..thee he he…

Tak ada benda lain nak tanya selain dari benda2 bodo..KAH KAH KAH!


We Are What We Eat

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What is in fast food. What is in McNugget?

Do you put dimethylpolysiloxane, an anti-foaming agent made of silicone, in your chicken dishes? How about tertiary butylhydroquinone (TBHQ), a chemical preservative so deadly just five grams can kill you?

These are just two of the ingredients in a McDonald's Chicken McNugget. Only 50 percent of a McNugget is actually chicken. The other half includes corn derivatives, sugars, leavening agents and completely synthetic ingredients.

There's no doubt processed food like that from McDonald's is not part of a healthful diet, and I'm grateful I've never had a chicken McNugget. But many Americans cannot say the same.

This sentiment was echoed by Federal Judge Robert Sweet in a lawsuit against the restaurant chain in 2003: "Chicken McNuggets, rather than being merely chicken fried in a pan, are a McFrankenstein creation of various elements not utilized by the home cook."

Time Magazine reported that Judge Sweet "questioned whether customers understood the risks of eating McDonald's chicken over regular chicken."

Seven years later, I still wonder whether McDonald's customers truly understand the risks of consuming fast food on a regular basis.

If you missed Morgan Spurlock's documentary "Super-Size Me," I highly recommend you watch this real-life illustration of just how dangerous an excessive fast food diet can be. And excessive is likely far less than you imagine: Eating fast food just twice a week doubles your risk of developing insulin resistance, compared to eating it only once a week. (Insulin resistance one of the primary driving factors behind most Western diseases, from diabetes to cancer to heart disease.)

The truth is, McDonald's fare contains non-food ingredients that can seriously harm your health. This shouldn't come as any great surprise. After all, how healthful can something be that shows no signs of decomposing after being left on a counter for more than a decade?

Thursday, January 20, 2011

FCUK Markom

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Tabiat pemakanan tempe yang betol

Mamat ni pun cuba mengamalkan tabiat memakan tempe,

tapi salah makan, habis luruh semua rambut!KAH KAH KAH! 

But Markrom says: It's our job to go after anti-gov't teachers
Written by Stan Lee, Malaysia Chronicle

A row has flared up in Tenang even before the BN unveils its candidate for the by-election due to be balloted by the end of this month. Johor Education Department director Markom Giran, who was caught on video allegedly campaigning for the ruling coalition, defended his actions by saying that it was his duty to "send for courses" those found to be "against government policy".

"I did not campaign. I was speaking to my subordinates. It is our right to identify which (political parties) our teachers are supporting," Malaysiakini reported Markom as saying on Monday.

"If they are found to be against the government, we will call them up and send them for courses to let them understand that a government servant should not be against government policy."