"Ambo tok berapo segar lo ni."
Melaka has created a new datukship that is lower in class to the existing one.
Called Darjah Pangkuan Seri Melaka (DPSM), it is given to people in government positions that are lower than those of the people receiving the Darjah Mulia Seri Melaka (DMSM). So if your boss is a director-general, he’ll get the DMSM but you are entitled only to the lesser DPSM.
It seems Malaysia has so many datuks now that the joke going round has been modified. It used to be that if you were to throw a stone in Bukit Bintang, you would hit a datuk; now if you were to throw one in Oxford Street, which happens to be in faraway London, you would hit a datuk too.
Everyone around a wedding dinner table is a datuk. Imagine the dinner conversation:
“Datuk, please have the last piece.” said Datuk 1
“Thank you, Datuk, you go ahead. I’ve had enough.” replied Datuk 2
“So have I, Datuk. Perhaps the datuk beside you would like to have it?” asked Datuk 3
“Datuk Apanama, would you like to have it?” said Datuk 2 to Datuk Apanama
“No, Datuk, I’m superstitious, I don’t want to end up an old maid.” said Datuk Apanama
“Oh, of course, Datuk, I’m sorry. I keep thinking of datuks as men.” Datuk 2 apologized
“I beg your pardon, Datuk! Can’t you tell from my looks that I’m a woman?” a clearly embarassed Datuk Apanama retorted!
A well-built young man in a suit and bowtie saunters by. One of the Datuks calls to him, “Hey, waiter.!!!”
The young man glares back and replies, “Excuse me, I’m not a waiter. I’m a datuk!”
“Really?” said a Datuk, surprised. “You’re so young, you don’t even look 30.”
“So what? I’m 28. And I’m a sportsman. I can play football, badminton, squash, konda-kondi..etc”
“Why are they giving out datukships to people so young?”
“Hey, at least I got mine for serving the country. How did you get yours? Beli ka? Pakai orang dalam ka”
“Are you insulting me, you young ciku?”