Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Stars and Their Haircut

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Carlos Valderrama (Columbia)

People will always remember Valderrama for his massive bright blonde perm. What a lot of people don’t know is that he is Colombia’s most capped player ever. Between 1985 and 1998 he represented his country one hundred and eleven times, scoring eleven goals. Now forty nine years old, Valderrama has mellowed with age and gone with a more sensible haircut. It’s a slightly smaller version of the massive blonde perm, but he has grown his moustache a lot thicker.

Djibril Cisse (Auxerre, Liverpool, Sunderland)

Cisse has had a few dodgy doo’s in his time but this one is the worst for me. It looks like he’s got crop circles on his head. And judging by this guy’s fashion sense the alien’s have definitely landed. After moving to Liverpool Cisse bought a house in Frodsham, Cheshire and in doing so acquired the title of Lord of the Manor of Frodsham. As Lord of the Manor he really should have toned down the wacky hairstyles.

Abel Xavier (Everton, Liverpool, Middlesborough)

What is it with footballers and loving bright blonde hair? Xavier caused controversy when he moved from Everton to their bitter rivals Liverpool in 2002. He caused even more controversy at a Santa’s Grotto in December that year when organisers mistook him for a new age, neon Father Christmas.

Harry Kewell (Leeds United, Liverpool)

There seems to be a recurring theme here. What is it with Liverpool players having dodgy haircuts and strange facial hair? It’s not like scousers have ever…oh hang on. Though Kewell isn’t one for having a vast repertoire of crap hairstyles this one was so bad it had to be high up on the list. There’s simply no explaining it, just what in sweet breakfast meats was he thinking? I can only assume he lost a bet. And this bloke is married to Sheree Murphy, there’s no justice is there?

Taribo West (Derby County, Inter Milan)

Inexplicable and inexcusable. Perhaps he was trying to grow a vegetable patch on his head? Maybe someone glued super noodles to his bonce as a joke? He could have been involved in an unfortunate explosion where pipe cleaners were forged to his skull? Maybe he went to the barbers and asked for it to look like that? No, that’s a silly idea.

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