10 things we learned from Chelsea 1-3 Manchester United in the Community Shield
1) Having comedically kicked the ball into his own face for United's second, does Javier 'Chicarito' Hernandez get the assist as well as the goal?
2) Hernandez is also nicknamed "the little pea". After those pictures of him the other night, so it Wayne Rooney.
3) Sir Alex Ferguson is all excited at the thought of signing Mesut Ozil. Apparently the Glazers have only okayed the deal so they can save money by re-using Michael Owen's 'MO' tracksuit.
4) The Glazers are so skint they tried to hand over the Community Shield while buying a pint after the game, claiming it was "just a really big 50p piece".
5) 'The Community Shield' is such a boring name. How about 'EPL: First Blood'? 'The Shield Of Destiny'? 'The Overture'? 'Game Minus One'? 'Prem: The Prequel'? Or just 'The Annual Manchester United v Chelsea Cup'?
6) On 19 minutes Frank Lampard tried his luck from 25 yards but the hopeful shot went high and wide. Ah, memories. You could almost hear the vuvuzelas...
7) As Florent Malouda's shins will attest, Paul Scholes definitely didn't spend summer working on his tackling.
8) These pre-season games are great practice for what is to come later. After their early receptions, it won't be such a novelty to Rooney, Terry and Ashley Cole when they get booed at Wembley on Wednesday.
9) Mind you, you could tell Chelsea weren't taking the game that seriously. After losing a game with silverware at stake, John Terry didn't even bother to cry.
10) We've said it before, we'll say it again. Has there ever been a more aptly-namd goalkeeper than Hilario?