Friday, August 26, 2016

Jangan Pedajal Ustaz Kazim & Sekolah Tahfiznya

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Baru2 ni bini aku tanya, "sekolah abang dulu macam tu jugak ke?" Kah kah kah!!!

Dia bertanya ekoran timbul kes budak lelaki senior sebuah sekolah tahfiz telah  bermain-main dgn lubang taik budak lelaki junior sekolah tahfiz tersebut.
Kah kah kah!!

Jawapan aku ialah, "tak, sekolah abang tak macam tu".

Sekolah berasrama penuh yg aku pergi dulu ialah sekolah laki-pompuan. Ada budak jantan, ada budak betina. Ada cikgu jantan, ada cikgu betina. Juga ada tukang kebun. Pak guard. Tukang masak betina. Tukang masak jantan.

Populasinya bagus. Ratio jantan betinanya cukup harmoni. Tak macam MCKK atau STAR Ipoh  yg sentiasa memendam perasaan. Kah kah kah!!

Jadi kami pelajar baik jantan mau pun betina, boleh berimaginasi dan berilusi.
Tak macam budak sekolah semua jantan MCKK & STAR Ipoh yg akan jadi huru-hara kalau bertandang ke sekolah kami bila disorak oleh awek-awek cun.
Sebab tak biasa. Geli lebih.
Kah kah kah!!

Sehinggalah aku grad dari sekolah tersebut, tak pernah pun aku dgr kes bodoh main lubang taik junior. Ptuuui!!! Kah kah kah!!


Berbalik kpd kepada sekolah Ustaz Kazim ini, kita kenalah bersangka baik, jangan buruk-burukkan dia. Dia tu ustaz yg entah berapa kilo serbannya, merangkap pendakwah bebas, merangkap saudagar tahfiz dan juga merangkap nyaris2 jadi ahli Majlis Tertinggi HAMNO.

Power tu Dol....
Kah kah kah!!

Lagi satu kalau iya bebudak tu dah sampai tahap main lubang taik junior, fahamilah perasaan mereka yg 24 jam dikelilingi batang pedang setiap hari.

Kah kah kah!!

Yg bertahfiz-tahfiz ni nak jadi ustaz satu hari nanti. Merekalah yg akan memikul beban mendidik anak bangsa seagama tentang ehwal Islam. Apa kejadah kesudahannya kalau bakal ustaz2 ni dok kelebek lubang taik junior??

Cukup cilaka, sebab ada kebarangkaliannya, anak2 kita satu hari nanti akan dididik oleh ustaz2 yg terbabit dgn kes main lubang taik junior ni.
Mintak dijauhkan. Mintak simpang.
Haru. Inilah dunia yg kita diami sekarang.

Tapi lagilah cilaka kalau ada pengetua tahfiz yg tau ada kelaku haramjadah bebudaknya yg gemor bermain lubang taik, tapi cuba sorokkan demi menjaga nama sekolah dan wang yuran yg akan masyuuuk setiap bulan.

Memang cilake.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Sifat Semulajadi Kereta Protong

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Saja nak bagi tau, minggu lepas kereta KIA dah sampai Zuhal. Minggu depan Hyundai akan umumkan pasaran mereka telah sampai ke Planet Marikh. Manakala Kijang Indon pula dah start pengeluaran bulldozer sendiri.

Protong?
 
Khkahkah!!!

Protong masih dok umum guna ennjn Toyota.
Atau copy paste body Honda.
Umum usahasama dgn syarikat itu atau syarikat kereta ini. Kah kah kah!!!
Power window masih tak settle-settle.
Kahkahkah!!

Bubuh la apa pun jadi pengerusi.
Mahafiraun ka, Albar ka, Alba ka. Sama saja.
Protong bukan bergantung dgn pengerusi.

Jangan jadi bahalol.
Protong masih beroperasi dgn duti impot 300%.
Proton juga amat brgantung dgn bani Melayu. 
Tanpa Bani Melayu, kilang Protong dah lama jadi reban kambing.
Kahkahkah!!

Letak la Samy Vellu sekalipun jadi pengerusi.
Protong nak memacu mencanak hapa ke benda??
Sebab sifat asal semulajadi Protong itu ialah, bengkrap.

Bengkrap idea, bengkrap modal, bengkrap modal insan.

Bengkrap.

Kah kah kah kah!!!

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Beza Gang Si Kapir Celtic Dgn Nik Abduh & The Gang

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Cuba cari dalam gambar. Ada muka Nik Abduh & the gang?

Sapa dapat buktikan ada Nik Abduh & the gang dalam gambar di atas, dapat percuma sebotol madu tualang power menjungkit  kain pelikat cap Gajah Duduk.

Kah kah kah!

Phuii..! Nak suruh angkat placard pun susah.

plastn_flg_football_600


Celtic face UEFA wrath over fans waving Palestine flag

UEFA are likely to sanction Scottish club Celtic over the action of some fans during a Champions League qualifier against Israeli club Hapoel Be’er Sheeva yesterday, SkySports reported.

In the match played at Celtic Park, a large section of fans of the Scottish Premier League champions had waved the Palestinian flag. Celtic won this first leg 5-2, with the return leg scheduled for next Tuesday in Israel.

UEFA rules state that no political expressions of any kind are allowed in football, and had explicitly banned Palestine flags in light of the political statement it makes against the Israeli side.

So, considering that the fans’ action could be seen as a provocative gesture, UEFA may come down hard on Celtic, with a possible fine aside from having the club play one or more European home matches in an empty stadium.According to SkySports, this would not be the first time that Celtic are being punished.

European football’s governing body have fined Celtic eight times in less than five years for a variety of offences, one of which was for waving Palestinian flags at another Champions League qualifier on July 22, 2014, against Iceland’s KR Reykjavik. At the time, the 2014 Israel-Gaza conflict, which later came to be known as the “50-day war”, was just into its third week and there was a lot of sympathy on the part of the Scots for the people of Palestine.

In the conflict, more than 2,000 Palestinians were killed, including 490 children, with another 11,000 people injured. Also, 20,000 homes in Gaza were destroyed, forcing up to 500,000 Palestinians to be displaced.

However, The Herald Scotland reported that the waving of the Palestine flag in yesterday’s match was not a case of tokenism.

“It’s not the case that the plight of the Palestinians has become trendy and therefore a group of football fans have latched onto it. Celtic have a long tradition of flying the flag of the Arab Revolt at games and there does seem to be some sincerity in their politics,” the report said.

Previously, Celtic fans had waved the Palestine flag during a Europa League home match against another Israeli club side, Hapoel Tel Aviv, in December 2009.

Friday, August 12, 2016

Nasib Baik Ada Pokemon & DAP

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Kalau tak kerana DAP, ramai tak tau apa ke benda 'harbi' yg mufti tu sebut.

Kalau tak kerana DAP juga, mungkin ada yg masih tak tau yg mufti tu duduk di atas negeri berGenting Highland yg ada bapaaak punya besar mesin judi.
Kah kah kah kah !

Pokemon pun ada jasa.
Dek kerana Pokemon lah, mufti Kedah dah nampak muka, keluar paper.

Baru skrg ramai org tau Kedah kat mana. Dalam Kedah ada Langkawi.
Dalam Langkawi ada banyaaak todi di jual baaapaaak punya murah.
Kah kah kah kah !

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Claire Brown/Sarawak Report Akan Disaman Malam Jumaat

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Claire Brown ialah tuan empunya portal Sarawak Report yg telah membongkar 1MDB dgn segala macam fakta, kini Sarawak Report buat hal lagi.

Sarawak Report telah di lihat memperlekehkan keimanan pemimpinan PAS apabila mendedahkan RM90 juta telah masuk ke kantung PAS.

Berita ni belum saheh, pun begitu, ini kes berat, seolah2 pimpinan PAS tak tahu dosa pahala. Umpama menconteng arang ke atas serban 5 kilo.

Kah kah kah !



Khabarnya PAS akan menyaman Sarawak Report. Tak tau la macamana nak saman. Apa alamat rumah atau alamat pjabat Sarawak Report? Siapa pulak nak ambik saman dan sain akuan terima saman?

Tapi tau la PAS buat kerja. Hapa korang ingat sejak Hanipa Maidin blah, tak ada lawyer power-power dalam PAS?

Kahkahkah!

Sekiranya PAS yakin berada dipihak benar, memang kena saman Sarawak Report. Kasi ajar sikit. Jgn ingat puak2 lebai kuat bersabar.

Kah kah kah!

Memandangkan Sarawak Report ni macam nak sangat dan tuan punya pun perempuan yg macam nak sesangat, kita cadangkan kepada para walaon supaya panjangkan kpd boss2 mereka supaya saman Claire Brown ni malam Jumaat.

Cuma jangan buat malam Jumaat kliwon lah, sebab Jumaat kliwon ni datang cuma 3000 tahun sekali.

Kahkahkah!

Monday, August 8, 2016

Rahman Dahlan Punya Tekan

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Ditekan.
Hari2 kena tekan.
Siang malam pagi petang kena tekan.

Tertekan macam mana yg Rahman Dahlan maksudkan?
Kena tekan macam ni kot? Kah kah kah!

Monday, August 1, 2016

Siti Hasmah Bini Madey Pernah Digoda Rasuah.

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2 kali. Digoda rasuah 2 kali. Dan 2 kali itu jugak dia menolak rasuah.

Ini cerita dolu-dolu. Katanya dia cuba disuap RM10 & sekali lagi dgn RM50. Tapi dia tak ambik pun, dia berintegriti. Amanah. 

Kahkahkah!

2 kali dia cuba disogok. Kahkahkah! Dia punya '2 kali' yg dia ingat. Orang punya '2 kali'?

Dia tak sedar laki Wan Azizah 2 kali kena jel atas sebab satu kes main lubang ekzos yg direka Mahafiraun & satu lagi yg direka bini badak?

Laki Wan Azizah kena tumbuk entah berapa kali, 
entah berapa kali kena karate, 
entah berapa ribu kali makan nasik jel sedangkan dia laki-bini sedap melahap di mahligai, 
entah berapa ribu liang nyamuk atas badan laki Wan Azizah sedangkan dia sedap mengerekot laki-bini dalam bilik ada air-con?

Dia sebok lah dgn offer rasuah 2 kali.

Kah kah kah kah!!

Dol, lu tau apa makna 2 perkataan ni?

1. lanjiou
2. bugima

KAHKAHKAH!

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Malaysia Serabut Angkara Mahafiraun

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Artikel ini aku publish tahun lepas.
Bacalah sampai habis tentang penyakit Malaysia ini.

Puncanya Mahafiraun.
Dgn menendang 2 timbalannya , Musa itam dan Anwar serta sorang lagi tokoh berkaliber iaitu Tengku Razaleigh,
yg tinggal hanyalah balaci-balaci Pak Angguk yg tak akan cukup dedak.
Mahafiraun telah mengakibatkan Malaysia ketandusan pemimpin..

Yg Malaysia dapat selepas Mahafiraun ialah kepimpinan telur kerandut di pulas.
Sorang di pulas menantu, sorang di pulas anak badak.

Malaysia’s mess is Mahathir-made

29 July 2015
Author: Dan Slater, University of Chicago

At least embattled Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak is right about one thing. The current mess in Malaysian politics is the making of his greatest nemesis, Mahathir Mohamad, who led the Southeast Asian nation with an iron fist from 1981–2003. What Najib fails to fathom is that Mahathir has not produced this mess by criticising his leadership, but by paving Najib’s path to power in the fashion he did during his decades in office. Mahathir may believe that he can end the crisis by bringing Najib down. But history should judge Mahathir himself as the author of a long national decline that has culminated in this latest crisis.

To be sure, Najib’s fingerprints are all over the current mess. The proximate source of the crisis has been the collapse of Najib’s pet sovereign-investment company, 1Malaysia Development Berhad (1MDB). This has caused Malaysia’s stock market and currency, the ringgit, to plummet in turn. All this has transpired amid credible allegations that the prime minister siphoned an eye-popping US$700 million into his personal bank account.

But this road toward ruin commenced with Mahathir, not Najib. It is vital to realise that Mahathir rose to power in blessed circumstances. Malaysia’s economy had been growing healthily for decades, thanks to the prudent economic management of a highly capable bureaucracy. Governance and tax collection were effective, and debts were few. Natural resource wealth, including oil, was professionally stewarded. A decade of muscular redistribution to the country’s ethnic Malay majority had restored social stability after the race riots of 1969. Incoming foreign investment was copious and about to mushroom even further. Mahathir commanded one of the most cohesive ruling parties (the United Malays National Organization, or UMNO) and coalitions (the Barisan Nasional, or BN) in the world. The regime was authoritarian, but not intensely repressive or disliked in comparative terms. In short, Mahathir was holding a winning hand when he became prime minister in 1981.

Then came the debt. Obsessed with following in the footsteps of Asia’s technological leaders, Mahathir began borrowing heavily to fund his ‘Look East’, state-led heavy-industrialisation program. Privatisation was part of his growth package, but the beneficiaries were businessmen of loyalty more than talent. When the global economy went into recession in the mid-1980s, patronage started drying up. UMNO split, largely in reaction to Mahathir’s strong-armed style of rule. Mahathir’s two most talented rivals, Tengku Razaleigh and Musa Hitam, bolted from UMNO despite their deep personal ties to the party, mostly to get away from Mahathir himself. Mahathir responded by launching a police operation under the pretext of racial tensions, imprisoning and intimidating political rivals, and cementing his autocratic control.

Hence by the late 1980s, all of the defining features of Malaysia’s current crisis under Najib’s leadership were already evident under Mahathir. The regime was increasingly repressive. The office of prime minister was becoming a haven of autocracy. Ethnic tensions had been reopened to political manipulation. The economy was worrisomely indebted. UMNO was shedding some of its most capable leaders. This was the beginning of Malaysia’s sad national decline, under Mahathir’s watch and at his own hand.

Fast-forward a decade and all of these syndromes would recur in even nastier forms. The Asian Financial Crisis of 1997–98 punished Malaysia for the unsustainable dollar-denominated debts it had accumulated under Mahathir’s single-minded push for breakneck growth. Mahathir blamed everybody but himself for the crash. He sacked and imprisoned his popular and gifted deputy, Anwar Ibrahim, largely for his temerity in suggesting that Malaysia needed deeper reforms to regain economic health.

Mahathir didn’t pull Malaysia out of its crisis with economic reform or adjustment, but with more and more borrowing and spending. This was possible because Malaysia was still sitting on the fiscal reserves it had been amassing for half a century, since the British colonial period. Mahathir grandiosely claimed that his imposition of capital controls had saved the economy. But capital flight had basically run its course by the time controls were implemented. Mahathir imposed them to facilitate political repression as much as economic recovery. The spectre of anti-Chinese riots in neighbouring Indonesia was then callously manipulated to keep ethnic Chinese voters in the BN fold in the 1999 elections.

Hence even before the turn of the millennium, Malaysia was hurtling down the very trajectory of decline we are witnessing in the current crisis. Like Mahathir, Najib assumed autocratic control over the economy and embarked on reckless borrowing and investment schemes, especially 1MDB. Like Mahathir, Najib unleashed a torrent of repression under antiquated security laws to protect his own position amid rising criticism from civil society and from within UMNO. Like Mahathir, Najib has recklessly played the ethnic and religious card as his position has weakened. And in consummate Mahathir style, Najib has now even sacked his deputy, Muyhiddin Yassin, for questioning Najib’s repression of the media in response to the 1MDB scandal. In sum, Mahathir has nobody to blame more than himself as he watches Najib drive Malaysia even further into the ground.

Neither Najib nor any of his current plausible replacements appear capable of reversing Malaysia’s decades-long decline. Herein lies perhaps Mahathir’s worst legacy of all. By forcing the three most capable politicians beside himself out of UMNO during their prime, Mahathir ensured that only relative lightweights would command leading positions in Malaysia’s most powerful political institution. If Malaysia is to exit this crisis on a path to restored health rather than steeper decline, the political and economic reforms first demanded in the reformasi movement of the late 1990s will finally need to put in place: either by a new generation of leadership within UMNO, or by Malaysia’s repressed but resilient political opposition.

Dan Slater is associate professor in political science at the University of Chicago.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Dari Jerman Singgah Ke Krabi

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Kalau Najb & the gang bersuka ria di Hollwood, lebai2 pula berjala-jalan sambil berkerja di Krabi,
para walaon boleh gigit jari.
Kah kah kah kah !

Wala'on & Candunya

Dol, dgn rasa rendah diri & tawadduk, marilah kita bersangka baik.
mereka itu ke Krabi dgn menggunakan duit poket sendiri.
Pergi pun cuma nak bas lompat-lompat balik hari..kah kah kah !
Makan minum di blanja Datuk Bandar Krabi.

Nak buat meeting di Pantai Irama, Bachok, kadang2 air pun tak ada.
Nak buat di Gua Musang, cuaca makin panas, hutan banyak gondol.
Kalau buat di Lojing, sejuk sgt la bro... berlaga-laga la lutut & ketar dagu EXCO-EXCO kita.
Brrrrr... brrrrr..kah kah kah !
Lagi pun Loji ng dekat sangat, apa barang! kah kah kah !
Tak usik  pakai duit ke rajaan negeri pun.
Duit kerajaan negeri nak digunakan utk menolong mangsa banjir yg belum ada rumah & makan pun tak menentu.

Dol, lu cakap senang.
Kalau mereka tak ke Krabi, tak kan nak prgi Temerloh kot?
Patin Temerloh gemok2, tak best, banyak air.
Kah kah kah kah !


Wednesday, July 27, 2016

4 Tempat Ketum Tak Boleh Tumbuh

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Kalau FELCRA pun nak tanam, silakan.
Kalau FELDA yg dah rasa2 nak bengkrap tu pun nak tanam ketum, silakan.

Cuma, ada beberapa tempat yg ketum tak boleh ditanam.

1. Pasir Mas
2. Kuala Nerus .
3. Temerloh
4. Marang.

Kalau nak tanam jugak kat Marang, kena buat hospital sekali.

Senang ambik ubat.
KAH KAH KAH!